I would like to thank each of you whether you were able to post or not for caring about me and my family. By keeping us in prayers, sharing your thoughts, concerns, donations, flowers, help - whatever has helped get us through this time. I would first like to post the eulogy, my husband and I gave at Rob's funeral - they were thoughts I had one of my sleepless nights.
Our Son
Rob was born 27 years ago, our second child, our only son. I will never forget his birth. The doctor went home to rest – he expected a long wait into the night. The nurses wouldn't believe me when I told them to call the doctor. They waited too long and Carl and I found ourselves in the delivery room by ourselves. He's coming, get down there and catch him I ordered Carl. Carl gave me a panicked look but just then the doctor came dashing into the room, slipped on rubber gloves and our boy quickly slid into the world. I got my boy, my son I heard his proud father say. "
He had a tough beginning – I was sick, he was sick, Amy was just two We lived in Bowling Green, Carl worked in Findlay and went to school in Toledo several nights a week. But as he grew from baby into toddler, he became the light our lives. He started talking and never stopped- until he grew into that teenage time when you can’t drag anything out of them. We moved to Findlay into a wonderful neighborhood full of kids and we became one of the Kool-aid houses on the block. Personally I think they hit all of us up and spent their time high on that stuff.
What a little guy he was! He loved the Dukes ofHazzard and when we were stopped by a train while taking Amy to kindergarten in the
afternoons, he would ask me why I just didn't jump the train like the General E. Lee. I once asked his pre-school teacher if he talked all during class like he did on that trip back and forth to St. Michael Primary School each day.
When he was five, he came down with chicken pox. Carl had just bought me a VCR for my birthday -not that I ever got to use it. Rob had Carl tape Star Wars for him and it ran non-stop for the next couple of weeks while he recovered. Soon I would hear him repeating word for word the storyline. Ithink he owned everything Star Wars. He remained a Star Wars fan until he died. He loved Yoda and I bought him every little figure I could find of Yoda. My younger sister, Julia even painted him a plaster Yoda lamp for Christmas one year and he still used it. Star Wars posters graced his home like the treasures they were to him. His aunt Beth nicknamed him R2D2 -he was
named Robert for Carl's dad so he was the second Robert and his middle name was Dale for my dad so he was the second Dale in our family --R2D2. So of course, his neurotic mother bought him every R2D2 she could find also.
He went to St. Michael Primary School and I can't begin to name the
teachers and staff who touched his life in so many ways. One thing I do remember was his having Ce Robarge ( now McKinley) for second grade. He came into second grade in the low reading section. Ce would have none of that -she had him work in both the middle and high groups until he caught up with the high group. I credit her for his lifelong love of reading. And that boy loved to read. He and I would scower the used and half price book stores so we could own all the books we wanted and more. And he read just about every kind of book there was -he was by far one of the most widest read and smartest people I have ever known.
I started a job at St Michael's for 3 evenings a week when Rob was in
Second Grade. The first week I worked, Rob fell and broke his arm playing tag with an older neighbor kid who tagged him a bit too hard. At nine o'clock I went out to the hospital arriving just in time to be there when they had to pull the arm to place the bones back together. He hadn't cried much up to then -the dr .said he could scream when he set it -and he did! That was the year he made his first Communion and they drew parts for the Mass. He was to be carry the gifts up to the altar -I just about fainted when I saw he was carrying a rather large carafe of wine toward the front of Church. What was Ce thinking letting him do that! But she said he assured her he could rest it on the cast and not spill a drop -and he did!
As a child, he played soccer but Rob just couldn't be competitive in sports. Not when there was all those other things to do while waiting for the ball to come to his end of the field. Picking dandelions, dancing around, doing Kung fu type moves, who cared what was happening with that ball. He played baseball until he was about 8 when a pitcher hit him with a ball –that was the end of that sport! He loved playing basketball when he was in the fourth, fifth, sixth grades at St. Michael's. Of course, that was the second time he broke his arm -during the father/ son game when one of the father's was a little too forceful with one of his passes.
For those of you who know my husband, he is a farmer at heart. He loves antique John Deere tractors and owns two of them and the highlight of his year is the Antique Tractor show in August at the fairgrounds each year. One summer when Rob was about 12 and Amy 14, they wanted to go with him every time he went (which he pretty well spent all day every day for the four days it runs ). I couldn't figure out the attraction until I overheard one of them saying how cool it was that Dad was letting them drive the tractors around the fairgrounds by themselves. Be still my heart. Not only was I
afraid that they would hurt themselves but how many pedestrians had to jump out of the way to avoid being run over by these two kids?
I often wonder if terrorizing the people at the fairgrounds is what
precipitated his love of Nascar racing. Tony Stewart was his favorite driver. He also loved dirt track racing and loved to attend the races here in Findlay when he worked at Oil Can Henry's during his high school years where they sponsored a car for racing. He and his father shared their love of Trans Ams. They each owned one and they were and are one of the most important things they owned. He recently told Carl if he had been Carl he would have beat he and Andy Kastner for using their belts as Batman utility belts to climb atop his car. Keeping him out of and off of the top of that car was a full time job!
Rob loved music. His choices during his high school were not our choices nor was the volume he played them. I guess he thought he had a sound proof room and it wouldn't bother any of us. As he grew older, his collection became every ecletic -he listened to everything classical to country and everything in between. I think he was competing with Fr. Marty with that although I am pretty sure Marty would beat him on "vinyls" (records to us old people ).
He went to Van Buren for High School. I am not sure he was intentionally competing with his older sister Amy for grades or what but he kept up his grade average so that he became Valedictorian of his class when he graduated instead of just the Salutarian that she was. He had to give a speech for that occasion and I can remember his Aunt Joyce asking time and again had he written his speech yet and he would just laugh and show her a 3 X 5 notecard and a cartoon he had taken from the paper. His speech was probably the shortest ever given at a graduation but his words were ever so wise. To quote some of it:
I have had many suggestions in what to say today. Some say talk about the past – We have had some good times. Others say talk about the future. But I don’t know what that will bring.
John Lennon once said “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. I would like to say to this senior class, Make the most of each moment. Never get so caught up in worrying about the future you forget where you are because that is the only way you can make your dreams come true.
He went to the University of Cincinnati to become a mechanical engineer. Once again he worked hard and earned the grades to prove it. He graduated with honors in 2001 and started working at his career right away with the company he co-oped with while he was attending college. Later that company closed their doors with no notice and it took him awhile to find his new job and he was often discouraged but he prevailed. His father and I were so proud of him.
We tried to raise our son up with a love of God and Church. I don't know how well we did with all that, but I know my Rob is now with God and is no longer feeling like a loner and unsure of where he fit into this crazy fast-paced world that we live in today but feeling happy and whole again meeting his paternal grandparents and his great grandparents for the first time and saying hi to his friends, Andy Kastner, John Seman, and Julie West who went before him.
The night before we learned of his death, there was a rain storm and
after it there was a double rainbow. I looked up at that rainbow and said to God, the rainbow is a sign from you - why is Rob on my mind so much and why am I worrying about him and his happiness. You will take care of him.
The next morning, when I learned of his death, I ranted and raved, screamed and yelled at God. You said I could trust in you. Why did you let this happen?
But later that morning as we sat and mourned with friends a hummingbird flitted by the window. Hummingbirds are my favorite and all my children knew that. My garden is full of plants to attract those amazing little birds. God is constantly giving us signs of his goodness and love for each one of us.
My son is with his God. We love him with all of our hearts and will miss him always.
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