Top of da Food Chain?

[RICHARD]

My exsistence in the food chain is very vital
Here is my food chain job and then there's my title..
"Opener of cans, pouches and sacks-
Clipper of coupons, to get money back."

Tuna and beef, cheese and some liver!
The thought of some smells just makes me shiver
My sidearm is the opener of those shiny cans.
Of the menus I prepare, I haven't made plans.

Dry food, then wet, flaked and there's kibbled.
Some patience please, your saliva has dribbled,
On to the floor-- Don't claw me, please, would you wait?
As I prepare your dinner plate.

It could be the "good stuff" or it's real cheap.
If you don't like it, I do lose sleep!
I shop for you, without any haste....
I tailor my spending, to your royal taste.

At the top of the food chain, it's a precarious stop.
A job well done?? You are licking your chops!!!
The exotic stuff sometimes don't fit your mood...
Don't blame me, I--- only open the food!

There is Whiskas, Temptations and that Purina Cat Chow-
I'll not serve it later, I know you want it now!
You climb on my thigh to get a small whiff.
Of the food I'm piling onto your dish....

Nose to the plate, slurp up that juice.
Then to the solids, therein lies the truth.
I can gauge what you like, by what's left behind.
A little or alot, is what I will find.

You depend on me to coddle your palate
Just give you the meat- you'll pass on the salad??
Balance your diet? Words to the wise?
I'll keep you slim, and that I will try......

Should you grow large, and out grow your fur.
Imagine the panic, imagine the stir!!!!
One thing I'd hate, if you were my cat.
Were the people to laugh and then call you "FAT".

One code word would be, to call you as "plush"
If that would happen, It would cause me to blush.
Imagine my feelings, of utter surprise.
Discovering my kitty, now is "OF SIZE"!!!

So please dearest cat, don't judge me, don't hate
By what you are served on top of your plate.
Please eat it all up and spare me the pity.
Remember, in the world, there are starving kitties!

And should you begin and finish your meal
Remember that it's all part of the deal.
I'll open the cans and that is the start...
I'll feed your stomach, and you'll feed my heart!

[catmandu]

AS ALWAYS,WELL PUT RICHARD,I AM WAITING,FOR YOUR FIRST BOOK,OF CAT POETRY,WITH OF COURSE ,EDSTER,ON THE COVER.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by catmandu
AS ALWAYS,WELL PUT RICHARD,I AM WAITING,FOR YOUR FIRST BOOK,OF CAT POETRY,WITH OF COURSE ,EDSTER,ON THE COVER.

You, kind sir, will get the first autographed copy!!!

I'll have to make sure the Edster doesn't gain too much weight....
That will make it a COFFEE TABLE BOOK!

[joycenalex]

may i have the second? and please with an official edward d katz hair in it? pleadingly joyce

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by joycenalex
may i have the second? and please with an official edward d katz hair in it? pleadingly joyce

lolol...
DONE!

Just one hair????