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Thread: Dog Dictionary

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Dog Dictionary

    This was posted on another forum, I thought it was funny. I don't know if it's been posted here before...but enjoy anyway.

    Dogs World's Dictionary of Dog Words.....

    BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

    BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

    BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

    DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

    DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

    DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

    GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

    GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require.....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

    LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command "Sit !", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

    LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

    LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

    SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

    SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog s rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times until your person makes you stop.

    THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

    WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home

  2. LOL thats really cute!!!
    thanks for sharing. i hadnt seen it before

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    I saw that on a Mastiff site, that I think, Anna, gave someone. I was just tooooo funny.
    Last edited by Bigyummydog; 05-25-2005 at 06:02 PM.

    ~siggy by LEXILOVER~thanx~


  4. #4
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    I hadn't seen it before. Very cute. Thanks.

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    That's really cute!
    "To all the dogs I've loved before...Who traveled in & out my door...I'm glad you came along...I dedicate this song to all the dogs I've loved before"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
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    Ohio, USA
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    Originally posted by Bigyummydog
    I saw that on a Mastiff site, that I think, Anna, gave someone. I was just tooooo funny.
    Your right!
    My favs are:

    DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

    No better drool than mastiff drool

    and

    SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

    Who needs the side of the sofa when your tall enough to use the top of the cushon

    Huney, Bon & Simba-missed so very much
    Remembering all the Rainbow Bridge Pets

  7. #7
    Thats funny, I never seen that one before! The Thunder one is pretty funny!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    LOL! That is great! I love it! I have never seen it before, and I needed a good laugh today! Thanks for sharing! Oh yea, can I print it off to share with my teacher (animal class teacher) and so if I need a laugh, I can look at it?

  9. #9
    Join Date
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    wow- ain't it amazing that somehow dogs all over the world have communicated this information to each other?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Ridge Manor, FL
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    Thanks for that. I printed it out as well as email it to all my family with dogs.
    Amber: Mom to Connor, Carson, Sadie, Maggie and Grant

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    FL
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    I loved that! Thanks for posting it.

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