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Thread: On your bed or not?

  1. #1

    On your bed or not?

    I went to see a trainer about fixing Josie's aggression problems. I think he's gonna say that Josie shouldn't sleep on the bed with me, and I do understand that she shouldn't for dominace reasons, but I really enjoy her being with me. She's sleept on my bed her whole life, how can I stop now? I feel SO guilty having to tell her to get down...she looks so sad Poor baby...I also think he wants me to crate her...I don't think I could do that...she would hate it...what do you guys think?



    My babies: Josie, Zeke, Kiba, Shadow (AKA Butter)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
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    Illinois
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    9,637
    cover a cratepad in one of your old pillowcases and put the crate right next to the bed where you can see eachother, that might be easyer. Sorry about this, though.

    Niņo & Eliza



  3. #3
    I honestly don't think I will crate her...



    My babies: Josie, Zeke, Kiba, Shadow (AKA Butter)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Syracuse, NY
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    773
    Audrey, I know EXACTLY how you feel! Duncan sleeps on the bed with me and I LOVE it. We cuddle very night, that is like our special time together. I look forward to it so much....XXOO
    I know that trainers say that they shouldn't but that is one of the joys of having a dog. I don't know what to tell you dear...I'm with you, I can't do without my buddy in the bed!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2003
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    Gigi-land
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    how about her bed by your bed? i am sorry, i don't know whatelse to suggest. i guess i did make the right choice of having gigi sleeping in her crate (i call it her bedroom).
    Jen & Gigi



    Thanks Kay for the set.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
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    10,060
    I would do what the trainer suggests. I really feel for you and I know how hard it is. I about DIED when I was training Reece out of his seperation anxiety and had to crate him at night instead of sleeping with me. The good news is if you can fix her problems, there is a chance she could sleep with you again.

    I teach obedience classes with a behaviorist who works with aggressive dogs. A lot of times when owners don't do everything she suggests, the dog gets confused and the problems could become worse. Josie needs some clear signals from you for a little bit while you're working on her with this problem.

    Just think of it as a temporary thing and hope that you can have her on your bed again soon.
    Alyson
    Shiloh, Reece, Lolly, Skylar
    and fosters Snickers, Missy, Magic, Merlin, Maya

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Sask. Canada
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    I could not sleep without my babys lol Misty sleeps on my bed, usually under my covers, keep her off my bed? only if I want to go 3 weeks without sleep! lol not because of me, because she will cry and cry, and cry, and cry, and cry, and cry lol and trust me she can cry loud enugh to make us all go deaf and she does NOT let up, she is a border collie, plenty of energy to cry and slam herself against the kennel all night lol
    Shayna
    Mom to:
    Misty-10 year old BC Happy-12 year old BC Electra-6 year old Toller Rusty- 9 year old JRT X Gem and Gypsy- 10 month ACD X's Toivo-8 year old pearl 'Tiel Marley- 3 year old whiteface Cinnamon pearl 'Tiel Jenny- the rescue bunny Peepers the Dwarf Hotot Miami- T. Marcianus

    "sister" to:

    Perky-13 year old mix Ripley-11 year old mix

    and the Prairie Clan Gerbils

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Northern IL
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    232
    I agree with Aly -

    and I'm also one who loves to have my dog in bed with me.

    Tristan was SUCH a snuggler - he'd go to bed with my son, but after Jon was asleep, Tristan would come into my room and spend the rest of the night full length alongside me in my Queen bed. I have a hard time sleeping without my snuggle bug! Tristan went to the bridge in January.

    Our new Golden, Fizz, also likes to cuddle, but only temporarily. she won't stay up on either bed, although she is welcome there, anytime. she prefers beside the bed, and I have old sleeping bags next to both my bed and Jon's, just for her. she'll pop up for a snugglewhen we first go to bed, and again in the morning - but she won't stay.
    Because Fizz was almost two when we got her from the breeder, she was used to being in a crate. When we first brought her home - her crate was her 'security' - the place she retreated to when everything was too 'new' and scary. ALL her toys went in there! LOL! Now the crate is still up in the living room, with the door off, and it's just a 'bed' to her. but it's still 'HER' place, ( and she still stashes all her 'prizes' in there!) though she prefers to sleep by us.

    but if you are having agression problems with your girl - it is usually because the dog needs to know very clearly WHO is 'Alpha' in your house. If a dog isn't sure, they feel THEY have to 'take over' and lead- because they aren't recognising a clear leader in the 'pack'. and if you ever watch a group of dogs, you'll see that they fairly quickly establish an 'order'. so you just have to work with the trainer and set that 'order' clearly in her mind. Once it's set, with alot of 'boss' behaviors established - then it's possible to 'loosen up' a bit. but whenever she goes back to dominant behavior, you may have to tighten up some.

    I know some people have a hard time accepting crates - Truthfully, I was one of those in the begining - 20 some years ago with my first dogs. But honestly, USED PROPERLY, crates are the best 'security blanket' you can give your dog. THEY like them, (as long as they are not used for 'punishment') and feel safe being 'enclosed'. for most of my dog's lives, I have NOT used their crates everyday - but when needed, having them crate-trained is the best thing for THEM. Like when we visit friends, they go to the vet, if we travel, if they are sick, the crates are a familiar comfort - a bit of 'home' that goes with them.

    My dogs sleep with me - whenever I can convince them to! ;-) But I will never have a dog that isn't crate trained, also!

    Laura


    Thanks, Amanda, for the wonderful siggy and avatar!

    Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.
    - Milan Kundera

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    TEXAS
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    Gracie slept with us up til a month ago and we started crating her. She has a huge crate now..and a pillow and blankie. I don't feel bad. But it caused too much trouble for her to sleep with us..and that is all I am going to say about that~ but our lives are much more pleasant in the bedroom area without her in there with us
    I can't tell that she is suffering one bit from being in the crate.

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    Illinois
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    I have heard that a huge crate for a little dog is not good?

    Niņo & Eliza



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
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    10,060
    Originally posted by Suki Wingy
    I have heard that a huge crate for a little dog is not good?
    Thats just if the dog isn't housetrained. If the crate is too big, they will tend to potty in one corner and sleep in the other. I'm sure Gracie is potty trained though!
    Alyson
    Shiloh, Reece, Lolly, Skylar
    and fosters Snickers, Missy, Magic, Merlin, Maya

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Ridge Manor, FL
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    4,438
    We attempted crate training we both of ours, but we gave up when they cried and cried at night. They both sleep in the bed with us, under the covers curled up with us. The fiance says they hog the bed, they do, but so do I.. I can't imagine them not being in there with me, they keep the bed cozy when the fiance is not home. We haven't had problems with them in the bed with us, we just move them off for our "special time" together and they stay down until we let them back up. I just love my snugglebuddies with me in bed...all 3 of them..fiance included.
    Amber: Mom to Connor, Carson, Sadie, Maggie and Grant

  13. #13
    I too would do what the trainer suggests. It may seem cruel and hard for you to do but in the end maybe it will be for the best.

    Elvis, Clover and i used to share my bed but then little dominince issues started popping up so i kicked em both off and into their own beds and the trouble stopped pretty much in a couple of days. El now dives into his crate at night and waits for his scratch behind the ears and is asleep in no time. Clover is happy with her bed and sleeps all night.

    Goodluck and plaese keep us updated, and on Zeke man aswell .
    Rhi *Hooman* Clover *Rottie x ACD* (RIP to my BRD) Elvis and Tinny *The BCs* & Harri *JRT* Luna *BC x*

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Midwest
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    I know you feel a struggle between doing what your trainer recommends and wanting to keep your pup in bed with you, but try to remember the issues that are troubling you with your pup and be willing to work with the suggestions made as best you can.

    Though I'm not one who wanted my pup to sleep with me and hubby, I did feel strongly when we adopted Bijou that there would be no crating! I thought that Bijou would behave simply because I wanted her to, that training would be a piece of cake and be done with overnight. I've learned that my collie has a mind of her own and that her doggie instincts are enormously strong! We did opt to buy a crate and went that route for night time sleeping and the brief times we're away from the house. She whined the first week and we thought we'd go crazy but since then, she's come to not only accept her crate but enjoy her time there -- she likes her toys, her blankies, her "safe zone" from the nuttiness of our household (five kids can be a lot of distraction even for an active collie pup!). I'm so (so!) glad we pursued crating, everyone's happier now that Bijou no longer thinks she's alpha -- of course my hubby and I continue to switch roles as alpha, but that's another story

    If you can think to yourself that it's tough in the short term but helpful in the long term, you mght be better able to make some of these transitions. You want your dog to havea clear idea of their position in the house, and let's face it, with dogs you must be alpha in order to have a smoothly running household and content animals. Your pup wants to please you; you just need to let him know how to do that.

    Good luck!

  15. #15
    When Frankie started getting too agressive over the pillows and covers, we decided to make him sleep in the kennel. But he seems to like the kennel a thousand times better than the bed! ((I've climbed in there before and it was very nice lol)) Hes got 2 pillows, a fluffy seude bed with a soft comforter on top of that, and a blankie too. We also put a blanket over the kennel on cold nights It doesn't have to be a bad thing to kennel a dog at night, especially if your starting to have agression problems.

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