Dog & Cat Diary

[elizabethann]

This is funny:

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

8:00 a.m. Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m. Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m. Oh boy! Getting rubbed and petted! M favorite!
11:30 a.m. Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m. Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m. Oh boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m. Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m. Oh boy! Pretty flowers! My favorite!
6:00 p.m. Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 p.m. Oh boy! Watching TV w/my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m. Oh boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

Day 183 of my captivity: My captors continue to
taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to
eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going
is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I
get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my
attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must
try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair; must try this on their bed. Decapitated a
mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of,
and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They
only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement
throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More importantly, I
overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies".
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to
be an informant. He speaks with them regularly. I
am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the high metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.......

[elminster20]

Hahahaha, that's great, thanks for sharing!!!!!!!!!!

[Laura's Babies]

Typical c-a-t-!

[cubby31682]

I've read that before. Every time I see it, it cracks me up. It reminds me so much of Cubby. Lol. Thanks for sharing.

[catmandu]

Wow! The Door is open.And I,Scrappy 2 will explore! There is a lot,of room,here!More Food! Some Toys! And CATS! Lots of Cats!heres the Giant Cat,that used to keep me warm,and let me eat first.But hes up high.MEEEEW,Its me!More Cats!ots of them.Ill hiss,so that they dont think,that I am a push over.Here comes,that Gray,and White! POW! And a Orange! WHAM! BIFF! And another Orange!KAPOWWWEEEEE! This is like,being on the Old Batman Show! I am going back,in my room,and play,with the Turbo Toy,that Mike,and Carls Cats,sent me! I hope,that my Brother,can move,in so I willhave someone,to talk to.