Please Pray for my Cousin!

[Lexi_Lover]

Hello everybody,

I would like for you all to pray for my cousin. She is in a very intense situation right now. My cousin, who has been happily married now for 2 years and had 1 daughter is in a bad state. Her husband is being very controlling, he has taken away the car keys form her, locked her in the house. He has also yelled at her, thrown things at the wall, and threatened to take her(and his) daughter away. The only thing, is she is trying to get away from him, but she is afraid of being charged with kidnapping her daughter.

She has gone to the Woman's Shelter, and is trying to sell her house now, since they are splitting up! Sadly, she has no money and is very upset, she never thought he would do this to her! My Dad has offered, actually demanded, that he come and fix their house up, so it is reasonable for selling. She was in tears this morning on the phone, and didn't want to talk about it much! My Dad said that even if her husband says he can't, my Dad says he is, no matter what, he wants to get her away form that freak of a husband!

I thought he was so nice and friendly, but at major events, like his daughter's 1st birthday, he was more concerned in setting up the trampoline and playing Baci ball then anything!

Please, help me pray for her, so he doesn't come after her, and try and take her sweet daughter! Also, please pray that she can make it through all this!

One more thing, he has also threathed to put himself in hospital and telling her that he was suicidal, just so she would feel sorry for him, and stay. She isn't stupid!

Again, please pray, for us all, in case he decides(which he already has) that he wants to come after us too! Just for helping her!

-Paula

[Lexi_Lover]

Bumping this up...

[joycenalex]

i'm sorry for your cousin and her child. is there a real chance that she can get away for good from this guy?

[Lexi_Lover]

Originally posted by joycenalex
i'm sorry for your cousin and her child. is there a real chance that she can get away for good from this guy?

I'm not sure, thats what hey'v been trying to do. She went back to their house last night because he said he wasn't going to be there but, I highly doubt that. She got a very good friend to stay overnight just in case. They've been trying so hard.

She just wants to sell the house to get money, so she can support herself and the baby! Hopefully, we'll be able to help her out!

[joycenalex]

this is so sad. in rereading your post i noticed the 'suicide' threat. he's got big issues, and sounds like a poor candidate
for responsible fatherhood or being a good husband. best wishes to your cousin

[Karen]

She should consult a pro bono attorney, she needs to find out what her legal rights are - the police or a women's shelter may be able to set her up with someone, or at least some information. She needs to consider getting a restraining order that will purportedly keep him away. Does she have a pastor or counselor she can discuss things with? She will be in my prayers. If he knows where that friend lives, that's not a good place for her to stay.

[Lexi_Lover]

No, she stayed at her own home, and teh friend slept over there. I'm really getting worried about her, I hope she'll be alright.

One more thing again, I'm scared that if my Dad goes and does all the work and then he(scary husband) will go and tear it all down and ruin it. Or he will say no, and he will try and hurt my Dad!!! I could see him doing that, he has been throwing dishes at the walls, just missing my cousin's head!

[luvofallhorses]

Oh my gosh. That is just horrible Sending strong prayers for your friend and her child. Whatever you do, have your family keep in touch with her. ((((HUGS TO ALL OF YOU))))) You know where to find me if you need to talk

[Buddy Blaze Lover]

That sounds terrible Paula! What a horrible situation! I will keep your cousin in my prayers! How old is the mother and daughter again? I'm so sorry...

[Soapets]

It can't be considered kidnapping if it's her own child and there isn't any court order preventing her from taking the baby anywhere she wants to take her. It would only be kidnapping if there is already a court order in place giving the father joint custody, or visitation rights, etc.

If she takes the child and goes somewhere without the father's knowledge, in order to get away from the father and the danger, it would then be up to the father to get a court order to force her to let him have access to the child. It doesn't sound like he would do that, and if he tried he probably wouldn't be successful at it, judging from what you're telling us he is like.

She needs to document everything that he says and does that could be considered threatening, dangerous, harmful, etc. You, your dad---ANYONE involved---need to record dates and times, and what was said or what happened, etc. If there is a written log of events, it will go a lot further in court than if it is all just verbal recollections. A lot of times in the legal system, if things aren't documented in writing, then "they didn't happen."

It will also allow her, and anyone else involved, to be able to remember things better. Then, if/when he tries to get a court order allowing him to have access to the child, she will have a written log of things as to why it would NOT be in the baby's best interest for this to happen. It will include exact dates, times, verbal threats, and/or physical events. Take pictures of things he breaks, property he damages, etc. Describe what happened, when, how, what was said, etc.

She needs to seek help through a domestic violence program, or women's shelter. They can provide her with housing that will be safe, somewhere that he doesn't know about. They can also provide her with help or good advice on how to go about getting a lawyer, etc.

But strongly encourage her to start documenting things NOW, so nothing is forgotten, and it is all on record. He might start "acting" better if/when he knows his behaviors are being documented to be presented to the court, if it should come to that. You want to have his REAL behaviors documented before he starts trying to put on a positive show for the court in that case. Do it before he knows what's going on.

PLEASE keep us updated on this situation. She and the baby will be in my thoughts and prayers, as well as you, and your dad, and anyone else who may be involved.

[Laura's Babies]

My best advice is for her NEVER to go to that house again and get out of town, going someplace where he would never find her. Assign someone power of attorney or whatever they need to sell the house on her behalf (or is it community property)..

A HOUSE is not worth her life or the life of her child.. If she can escape with her life and the life of her child, she should consider herself lucky and count her blessings.

But tell her to stay AWAY from that house or he will catch her there one night and the outcome could be horriable...

AND everything Sopets said! DOCUMENT! DOCUMENT! DOCUMENT!

(Is there anyone that could loan her enough money to get out of town/state and get a new start?)

[Lexi_Lover]

Thanks everybody...she stated that she does write things down. I will have to tell her to take pictures.

She is 2....5....I think, maybe 26 her daughter is almost 2.

Again, thank you, good advice, I will be sure to give her all this information! Thanks again!

-Paula

[Oggyflute]

Originally posted by Soapets


She needs to document everything that he says and does that could be considered threatening, dangerous, harmful, etc. You, your dad---ANYONE involved---need to record dates and times, and what was said or what happened, etc. If there is a written log of events, it will go a lot further in court than if it is all just verbal recollections. A lot of times in the legal system, if things aren't documented in writing, then "they didn't happen."

It will also allow her, and anyone else involved, to be able to remember things better. Then, if/when he tries to get a court order allowing him to have access to the child, she will have a written log of things as to why it would NOT be in the baby's best interest for this to happen. It will include exact dates, times, verbal threats, and/or physical events. Take pictures of things he breaks, property he damages, etc. Describe what happened, when, how, what was said, etc.

Paula, this is most important. The same thing happened to my sister, and unfortunately I was overseas at the time and couldn't give the help and advice she needed. My parents were getting elderly at this time and were not totally sure what to do. The result was my sister missed out on a few years of her girls growing up. Fortunately her idiot husband was not as smart as he thought he was and we were able to turn things around. On a happier note, my sister got herself together real well, got back into nursing and ended up marrying a terrific bloke. Things aren't the end of the world for your cousin, they are the beginning to a brighter life. Just give her all the support and love you possibly can at the moment, as this road she is on, is still a bit bumpy.
My best thoughts and wishes go out to her, I hope she gets her situation sorted soon.