***Update on Grandma's stroke***

[teenster3]

Unfortunately my grandma was scheduled to have surgery on her brain tumor Wed., but couldn't due to a major stroke she had on Mon.
I talked to her doctor today & he said there's NO WAY she can have surgery now until she recovers from that stroke. He said her chances of survival would be slim to none if done right now!
A social worker came in to talk with my mom & I.
I guess you gotta know my mom.....she's emotionally strained right now & pretty much yelled at the social worker because they want my grandma to go to a nursing home for awhile to get rehabilitated. My mom wants to bring her home where she lives & care for her from there but, the social worker is pretty adament about her going to a home. My grandma definitely doesn't want to go to a nursing facility either!
It's just so sad ya know. I don't know about you guys but where we live, there are few & far between any decent ones around us & we don't want to see her suffer more!
Gosh, what hard decisions to have to make. We want her to get strong & feel better again but even the thought of a nursing home.......agh, scares us!!!
I just pray that she makes it through all of this.

[slick]

I'm a firm believer that if she wants to go home, she should be able to and if your Mom can properly look after her, then so be it. Stroke victims do need special care and if your Mom is up to it then I support that all the way.

Believe it or not, my Mom was the caregiver for both my Dad and her Mom, my Grandma for 8 years. Mom would change my Dad's diapers, then go and change my Grandma's diapers, then help Dad into bed and then help Grandma eat....this went on and on for years. It was a real strain on my Mom but everyone involved knew it was the best thing. The thought of a care home scared us all. In the end, both passed in the hospital.

Teenster, I'm praying that the right decision is made and if I may be so bold as to offer up some advice from someone middle-aged; spend as much time with your Grandma as you can. Hold her hand, tell her you love her, read her stories; just do anything to be with her. God knows that I wish I had mine back so I could say the things I've always wanted to say.

Big hugs to you and you can PM me anytime you want. I'll be here to listen.

luv
slick
xo

[kimlovescats]

What an extremely difficult time you and your mother both are having right now. My heart is saddened that you are having to make these decisions, and I think that if your mom is up to taking it on, then it is definitely her decision. I know that my mom has said that she never wants to go to a nursing home. I hope and pray that we are never forced to go against her wishes!

Hugs to you and yours,
Kim

[heinz57_79]

This has got to be such a hard time for your family. I agree with Slick in that if your grandmother is of sound mind enough to make a decision like that, she should be allowed to go home. No one should have to go to a home if they don't want to. I know I never want to be in that situation. I never want to be in a home. All of us here at PT are supporting you, and you'll be in our thoughts. I hope everything goes well, and wish your grandmother a swift recovery!

[jazzcat]

I can understand how you feel but after having an aunt suffer a severe stroke and then seeing her make a full recovery I can tell you that it wouldn't have happened unless she had been at the rehabilitation center for all the intense therapy. She stayed there about 5 weeks before going to live with my sister who is an RN and continuing her therapy there before being able to go home alone.

I'm not saying I think you are wrong if you take her home I'm just trying to show you the other side and why the social worker is being so adament. She will probably make a quicker recovery there but if her heart isn't in it and she's unhappy then it may not be the best thing either.

I'll say a prayer for you and your family. It's so hard having to make these kinds of decisions.

[Miss Meow]

{{{hugs}}} to you and your family. What a sad situation for you to be in.

I think your grandma's wish to go home should be respected. It might or might not be best for her health, but she should be given the opportunity to have a say in her own welfare.

[Pam]

Originally posted by slick


Believe it or not, my Mom was the caregiver for both my Dad and her Mom, my Grandma for 8 years. Mom would change my Dad's diapers, then go and change my Grandma's diapers, then help Dad into bed and then help Grandma eat....this went on and on for years.

Bless your mom Slick. She sounds like an awesome woman with a heart full of love. She is a real hero in my book! My dad had a stroke and did spend some time in a rehab facility afterward but unfortunately was too old to have the strength to make a recovery. After rehab was over and he was discharged, my brother used to go down to their house to give my dad his walking therapy. He installed railings all along the hallway in my parents' home and would try and keep him as active as possible by walking him up and down the hallway, although it was basically my brother doing of the walking with my dad sort of 'hanging on.'

For us the idea of rehab was not too bad as there are plenty of good rehab places here in Southern New Jersey. I can't imagine having to travel far to see a loved one, and I believe visits from family are what keeps some people motivated and making progress.

Sometimes you can have someone (a professional) come in to help with rehab at home, but of course it is not as intensive as it would be in a facility so I'm not sure how good the results would be. You will be in my thoughts as, since my father's experience, I have watched two other family members cut down with strokes and it is a very painful thing to see people so vibrant and healthy struck down that way. (((hugs))))

[Lillycat]

aaah slick, what a special mom you have! there are extra diamonds in her crown for sure!!! teenster 3...good thoughts/ideas are mentioned here for you and your mom to consider. prayers are on the way for your family for guidance during this most difficult time.

[Kfamr]

I'm so sorry Tina.


I'll be thinking of you all.

[ChrisH]

Tina, I am so sorry. I will keeping the prayers going for your grandma.

I don't have anything to add to what others have written about going into the rehab vs being at home, but, however that works out, I do urge you to follow this advice from slicks post ..

Originally posted by slick
.... spend as much time with your Grandma as you can. Hold her hand, tell her you love her, read her stories; just do anything to be with her. God knows that I wish I had mine back so I could say the things I've always wanted to say.

... you will be so glad you did.
{{hugs}}
Chris

[anna_66]

How difficult this must be for your family. I'm sorry to hear that she isn't doing so well
I'll be sure to keep you all in my prayers.