Jealousy: Luna is in a grumpy mood today!

**Kirsten** · 07-13-2004, 08:37 AM

Luna is not on good terms with Lily today!

Every morning, she's coming into my bed, lays down on my chest and wants to be cuddled, but this is something Lily cannot stand. I don't know if she's jeaulous of me or of Luna, but she would often complain and makes these little rrrr-sounds (you know, what cats do when they want another cat's attention). Well, and sometimes, she would even jump Luna from behind while she is kneading my tummy, and of course, Luna gets very annoyed about this and walks away.

This morning, is was especially bad since Lily disturbed her several times when she wanted to cuddle with meowmie. She eventually got really grumpy, even with me, and I could see how much she was hurt. Later, when she found Lily on their favorite cushion in the living room, she did not want to share it with her as usual, but she started a wrestling match instead and must have been very serious about it since Lily squeaked a couple of times and then went away. So far, they did not share their cushion today.

So what can I do? Does Lily feel rejected by me? After all, she's not such a lap kitty and doesn't like to cuddle (at least not with me, she prefers snuggling with Luna), but Luna needs her "meowmie moments" so bad and there's no way I want to reject her!

I've just been out for a walk and when I came back and sat down, Lily came to me and made the "quivering tail thing", that's the way she's asking for treats. Before I could give her a treat, Luna showed up and came into my lap. This time, Lily did not interfere but she walked away and stared out of the window, and you could see in her little face that she was hurt. I cuddled Luna for a while, and then I asked them if they would like a treat. They both know this word very well and responded immediately. I hope that they both were happy with that.

But it's so hard!! Do I do something wrong?

Kirsten

**catmandu** · 07-13-2004, 08:48 AM

All you can do,is to try to treat The Cayts,qwith equal amounts of love,and attention, I try this at the Hotel,but it is hard when the Bigger,Noisier Cats ,are The Squeaky whjeels that get the Grease,or attention,Good Luck,and hopefully this is just a passing phase!

**kimlovescats** · 07-13-2004, 08:53 AM

Just like with skinkids...there will always be sibling rivalry!

I know you give them both adequate affection and attention... try not to let this worry you so! You are a great catmom!

Kim

**Tubby & Peanut's Mom** · 07-13-2004, 10:33 AM

I've had the same with T & P for over 15 years now. Somedays it seems really bad and somedays I don't notice it at all. Tubby is the jealous one and he usually wins the battle because he's bigger, but I always try and find special time with Peanut when Tubby's not around so she doesn't feel rejected.

The biggest thing that helped me is that I moved in with Terry. Don't know if adding a partner to your household is an option

but I really believe that this is why Peanut has become such a daddy's girl. Mom was always monopolized by Tubby, so Peanut went to daddy for attention instead.

I know this doesn't help you much, but like I say, somedays are better than others, so if you just make sure they both get adequate alone time with you, there should be no lasting resentments or anything between them.

Good luck!

**sirrahbed** · 07-13-2004, 10:54 AM

Debbie had the same advice I could give. We have sibling rivalry here too and some days it is worse than others. It never really ends and all you can do is your best to give them each attention. Some kitties are just more needy and yes - greedy I suppose. You are a great catmom and I seriously doubt that it has anything to do with YOU. Cats ARE just like kids!!

**CatMama78** · 07-13-2004, 11:36 AM

Awwww! I can relate Kirsten. O&W are very jealous of one another when it comes to attention from Mike and I. I feel so bad - either they are both ignoring us or want our attention at the same time! Where is our happy medium? I just try my best to pay attention to them both.

**Barbara** · 07-13-2004, 01:53 PM

It also shows that Lily is getting older. In their first year, F+T were inseparable and Filou nursed on Tigris. Now we have that jealousy comedy all the time

But there are moments when they are cuddling together in one spot.

**jazzcat** · 07-13-2004, 03:13 PM

Jazz is jealous of Scout like that too. She really gets her feeling hurt sometimes and then she goes off and cries a pitiful cry. She'll even try to play hard to get when I go for her but she quickly gives in, especially when I bring out her biscuit making blanket.

**Kirsten** · 07-14-2004, 02:19 PM

Thanks everyone!

It's good to hear that this happens in other families also.

Luna and Lily seem to have worked out their problems meanwhile, they're acting like pals again. Looks like the treats I gave them that day made them feel better!

T&P's Mom, LOL no, having somebody move in here isn't an option for me at the moment!

But I think there's some truth about your theory. In fact, I've read somewhere that there should be one human for each cat.

And I think Lily would even appreciate that. Whenever visitors show up here (at least when they are cat people), she's really importunate. LOL

BTW, the reason I'm sometimes feeling bad about the situation is that there is this really strong bond between Luna and me, and sometimes I think Lily feels she can never really come between us, and that this is bugging her. I'm feeling really guilty about that, but I can't help it - I love Lily and she's sooo cute, but Luna is my special little kitty friend...

Kirsten