Halp, Dad! The Evil Plastic Bag's GOT Me!

[Phred]

Wednesday Nite, as related by Boots, the Kat~

I wus on the dining room table playing with sum stuff and sorta kickin' the dead flower in the plastic dome thingy. I was making great progress towards pushing it over the edge when it *squeaked* on the table an Dad hollered to QUIT!
I went back to the stuff. Wus having almost as much fun with the blue bag when it happened.

*Rustle, rustle rustle* Big *THUMP* Sounds of fast moving nails on kitchen floor punctuated by *Banging & Bumping* into kitchen cabinets.

Cinder: M'gosh, WHAT wus That?
Smokey: It wasn't ME! I right here onna floor.
Dad: (examining back side of eyelids while pointing head at TV box) Huh? Whass wrong?

*Loud screaming noises* from hallway...

Cin: Kat headed westbound in the hall; big blue thing right behind him...
Smoke: I KNOW I dint do NUFFIN, Dad.

From the baffrom: *Loud THUMP* (Kat hits closet door) *Loud BUMP* (Kat jams body between tub & hall door) *Serious RATTLE* (Kat jams oversize body through narrow opening of shower door)
The Dad *sprints* (fast walk) down hall into baffroom (notices throw rug pushed half way up closet door) hears *violent struggle* in tub. Three heads, (Dad, 2 dogs) peer into tub to observe Kat fighting to the death with one each large blue plastic bag. Dogs excused with a friendly "Get outta here right NOW! or I'm gonna..."

I sorta 'member Dad hollerin "Calm down, Boots; you're OK." But with all the hissin' and Growlin' going on, I had a hard time listening to him. Then sum hand-paws started ta try an hold me down - that's when I turned on the Hisser an the Growler reel loud an made sure all my knives where out. I flopped around inna tub for a while till I hadda stop an catch a breath. Dad grabbed me again an held me down while he started pullin' the vischis Blue Baggy offa me. I *screamed* an he noticed the Baggy was holdin' onta my tummy - wrapped all around me, it was. He tried pullin it over my head, but I used all 10 knives ta suggest that wasn't a great plan. He finally used both his hand-paws an *ripped* the Baggy where its hanz where holdin' me. Thanks, Dad; did the Baggy hurt ya very much? I notice you're leakin' sum red stuff on your arms. Gotta watch them Baggies - they can be very dangerus.

"Boots, CALM down, for Pete's sake. Let me pick you up and we'll go sit down."
Grrrrrr. HissssssssssGrrrrrrrHisssssGrrrr.
"Stop that."
Can't, Blue Baggy might be sneakin' up again.

Cin: Dad, what's wrong wiffa Kat?
Smoke: Has he got mad cow disease?
HisssHisss! GrrrrHisss! HisssGrrrrrr!
Cin: Aw, he's OK, Smokey. Sounds normal ta me.

"Now quit hissing and growling and tell me what happened."
It was the Goons did it to me.
"Who did what?"
Your two Goons - ya know, CinDip and SmudgePot; they putted the Baggy over my headbone an' started kickin' me.
"It's Cinder and Smokey; and they did't touch you. They were lying on me feet watching the Tube. Looks like you stuck your own head through the bag handle hole and then panicked. You were kicking yourself in the tub. And stop growling."

Oh. Is THAT what happened?

"And where'd you get the bag. I don't leave them out."
Not tellin'. And you'll never find the others I got stashed. I still think the Dawgs dun it. THERE! Sumbodys 'tackin' me again. Grrrrr! Hisssss!
"STOP IT! That was just the SmokeKid giving you a lick/smooch on the ear."

Oh... Felt like I wus being 'tacked again. Lemmie offa your chest, Dad - I gotta go eat sumpthin ta calm my nerbs.

Editor's Note: As usual, it was an interesting evening at Phred's Place.

[lhg0962]

Never a dull moment, huh, Phred?

[Troy]

Very amusing

I can just see Leonard Nimoy introducing the show "...IN SEARCH OF the killer-plastic-bags..."

[luvdemabys]

Five'll get ya fifty Boots is right back to playing with plastic bags. Wynki puts on a similar performance every few months. but plastic bags with handles still fascinate her. Ahhh, cats!

[4 feline house]

Phred, I sooo look forward to your posts!

"examining back of eyelids while pointing head at TV box"
"hand paws"
"turned on the hisser and the growler reel loud"
"knives"
"has he got mad cow disease?"
"headbone"
"nerbs"

These were the ones that made tears come out of my eyes I was laughing so hard! This doesn't even count all the others that made me laugh out loud! If only you weren't a cat, I would ask you to marry me!

[HowieDawn]

hahahaha i am rolling...the cats are wondering why my eyes are leaking

[JKRJG24]

LOL!!! That's sooo funny!!! You write good!!!

[Phred]

{blush}

[LoudLou]

you are TOO funny!

[Logan]

I was reading along and thinking "this sounds so familiar". Who did this happen to before?? Then I realized, it was the post I read last year!!!! Could have fooled me!!!!! Glad you drug it out.......so funny.

[zippy-kat]

hadn't read this one b4

[michelene]

I hadn't either. It was so much fun!

I have missed seeing the funny Cinder and Smoke stories for a while. Thought this might be a new installment, but when I noticed the date, the joke is on me. I hee-hawed just the same because it's a great story, and told so well.

Thank you, Phred!!

[LoudLou]

Maybe you should write children's books. My neices and nephews think your posts are the greatest!

[yorkster]

That was hysterical!!!

My kitty, Wylie (after Wile-EE) , got one of the new brown paper-bags with the handles stuck on his head. He FREAKED and was tearing through the house like a tazmanien devil. It made so much noise that he woke up my husband who sleeps very soundly.
I tried to catch him..........could not even come close. I was also laughing sooo hard- I am sure that did not help.

Finally he ran into my other cat, Kedi, who thought it was a monster. He would not come downstairs for days after that, and to this day, runs at the sight of a brown paper bag- even the small ones.
Wylie, on the other hand, has seemed to forget about it.

[lynnestankard]

Phred -

that was sooooooooooooo funny, I laughed so much Dan got off my knee (thank goodness - the computer was there as well) and stalked off - and I'm still giggling now - so it was a year old - some of us weren't around the site then!!

Lynne