Not sure where to go from here...

**Cookiebaker** · 01-20-2004, 08:15 PM

I'm really in kind of a dilemma, and could use some PT input, please!! It's the best input out there

We are currently in a dog training class that is completely on-going, and every week we go over the same exact things. It's close to our house and only $10 per week.

The problem is with one of the other people that go to the class. She has been going for the last 3 years, and sometimes jumps in and runs the class in place of the instructor. Tonight, she was instructing me on doing a figure 8, and she made me sooo mad!! I could *not* do anything to please her. Malone was not straight; he was too far behind; too far ahead; I should have gone to the left, not the right; I stopped too soon; I didn't stop soon enough. Not one word of praise, and all she did was criticize. Both Mark & I have noticed that she doesn't treat anybody else in the class like this.

I think that part of the reason that she doesn't like me is that everybody else is in to the best of breed/showing. (Not that that is necessarily bad, but she looks down on me for having a "pet" who *horrors* isn't even a pure bred).

She treats her own dog horribly, hardly ever praising her and yelling/yanking her around. This has bothered me since day one.

I really like our instructor, but it is this other woman that has really got me down. The only other class that is anywhere near us is about an hour+ drive away. And I really like this class in that it gives me extra incentive to work with Malone throughout the week, and helps steer me in training him. If I stop going, I'm afraid of really getting discouraged.

Should I drop out, and try working with him on my own? Or should I just put up with it???

**stacwase** · 01-20-2004, 08:26 PM

Drop out? And let her win this little battle she has started with you? YEGADS!! I think not!!!

I think I would calmly and firmly educate her on the disadvantages of using spanking and yelling as forms of discipline. Kindly (hehe) provide her with literature about the proper methods of training dogs, and maybe give her the names of a few books on the matter. Let her know that you think she needs a lot of instruction if she is to become a decent pet owner, which is much more important than making a dog do a perfect figure 8.

**DogLover9501** · 01-20-2004, 08:27 PM

$10 a week?!? Jaspers are $161 for 10 weeks(once a week)!!

Is Mark the trainer(thats Jaspers trainers name too!!), maybe you should tell the trainer that she really stresses you out and makes you mad, and that she makes you consider dropping out

Maybe he'll talk to her or something, Im not sure what else to tell you!

**Cookiebaker** · 01-20-2004, 08:41 PM

Hehe, Stacwase that would tooo funny!!! Give her a lecture about being a pet owner next time she yanks her dog because she didn't do something perfectly right.

Doglover, thanks for the input. (Mark's my husband) I'm pretty sure that this woman and our trainer are good friends, in and out of class.

Thanks again!

**K9karen** · 01-20-2004, 09:01 PM

Hey Anna... why has this woman been attending classes for 3 years and critizing YOU?
Know what? Big deal that this moron is friends with the instructor. You're paying the instructor, not HER, unless, as in Klo's class, there were 2 assistant instructors if needed and they were introduced as such. I would tell the instructor after class or before, very nicely, of course, that you and Mark don't appreciate her sarly and negative imput. Your intentions are obedience classes for Malone and not to show. Gawd, if breed or perfection was a prerequisite for any of the classes that Cody or Klo went to,

we would have never been allowed in the door!

Geesh! Don't you DARE to quit because of one idiot. If you're pleased with Malone's progress (and he sounds like he's doing fine to me) I would keep going until you're satisfied. But not 3 years, honey, Malone sounds way too smart for THAT!

**Aspen and Misty** · 01-20-2004, 09:28 PM

Are you sure she just isn't jelouse that you have a cuter dog then her? O I mean!

If you are happy with his progress then don't drop out. Is there any way you can know before hand who is going to be teaching?

Ashley

**sabies** · 01-20-2004, 09:41 PM

Ditto what k9karen says.

Malone, mutts are the best, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

**K9soul** · 01-20-2004, 09:55 PM

Hmmm my first thought was to talk to the trainer about it but you mention she and the lady are good friends. That's too bad.. I don't know what kind of person the trainer is but if she seems reasonable and a good listener, maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk to her anyway about it? Sounds like that snotty woman could learn a lot from her dog if she would open up her mind.

I don't really know what other advice to offer, though I have to agree that I'd hate to see her "win" and drive you and Malone away. At the same time if it's making the class particularly stressful or miserable for you, there's no reason you have to put up with that either. So I guess it really comes down to how much it is bothering you and how much you are able to shrug it off. I'm personally horrible at shrugging things off from a person like that.

Dogs are so much easier to deal with than people sometimes!

**Logan** · 01-21-2004, 09:09 AM

I can't answer for you, Anna. But if you truly enjoy these sessions, and it sounds as if you do, usually, then I think you should continue. Maybe you subtly let her know that her input isn't necessary, that you and Malone are there for the socialization and to keep his training in check. Remind her that you love him just the way he is, and you're not aiming to make him a show dog, just a faithful, fun companion. If it isn't possible or easy to communicate those feelings, then simply put up your best "invisible" wall and ignore her completely. Are there others in your group that you are comfortable with? Maybe if there are, you could have a private conversation and ask for advice from them about how best to respond to her.

Is there another group at the same facility, that perhaps meets on a different day? I was just thinking that maybe a change of pace and atmosphere would help to solve some of this for you.

As usual, I'm rambling.............just want what is best for you and Malone, and this lady is obviously not it!!!!

Logan

**lizbud** · 01-21-2004, 10:03 AM

When she steps in to run the class, is it at the invitation of
the regular instructor, or does she just take it upon herself to take over? If the instructor lets her do this, I'd have a serious
talk with her(Instructor) & explain your feelings about this just the way you have here. I'm sure the instructor wouldn't want you to leave the class over this. Call her outside of class time & explain things to her, or ask to speak with her/him privately.

Please don't let this person ruin things for you & Malone. Do let us know how this goes o.k?

**lv4dogs** · 01-21-2004, 10:08 AM

I agree with everyone here.
I would not let one idiot ruin my fun! Even if they are good friends I would kindly talk to the instructor about what is going on. Maybe see if the instructor can let you know what days this woman is *teaching* class & just skip that one session?

I got it open your own training class & hire the instructor to teach, just dont invite that one woman hehehehehe
ok i know im in a silly mood today

**Dogz** · 01-21-2004, 10:40 AM

Originally posted by Aspen and Misty
Are you sure she just isn't jelouse that you have a cuter dog then her? O I mean!

Oh Ash!

LOL!

Well, if you enjoy the classes (ecept for that horrid lady of course) keep going! I think you should have a private talk with the instructor about her teaching the class. Explain what has been happening, and make sure that you let the lady that is being cruel that you DO NOT APPREICIATE IT! I am sure Malone was doing a fantastic job, and she know it.

Keep us updated, and maybe you could have Mark go (or whoever isn't handling Malone

) take some pictures for us to see.

Keep us updated!

**catnapper** · 01-21-2004, 12:03 PM

I guess I'm too direct and I'd tell this lady that I'm paying for the teacher to teach. I'd also feel compelled to ask why its taken three years to learn the basics with the same class. Rude people bother me and I have no problem being rude right back.

Keep going to yoour classes... I agree that you can't let a bully push you out of something you enjoy and something that helps you bond with your dog.

When you're doing your figure eights and she criticises you, have you tried saying, "Excuse me, but I'm trying to attempt a figure nine." Say it with a straight face and sweet sincerity and continue on your way as if what you said wasn't the most absurd thing in the world!

**Albea** · 01-21-2004, 12:41 PM

I agree with all the previous advice about talking to the "real" trainer. On the other hand, you have to consider the fact that if this stupid woman is making you upset Malone can feel it and be upset too. That's when it stops being fun for him. He's much too smart not to sense what's happening.
Logan's suggestion of finding a class at another time is a good one, if your schedule allows it.
I had a similar problem with my first Golden. The woman kept insisting on doing all the moves for show dogs, like the figure 8, when all I wanted was a dog who could walk on a leash. She also had some objectionable methods. I ended up droping the class and training Natasha myself.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Big hug to beautiful Malone.