Got this in my e-mail today, thought you guys and gals would like a good laugh.
Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.

(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."


(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
eat
nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
enable
you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or
genitals."

(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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