I HATE being lied to.... *rant*

[CathyBogart]

I just caught the person who an hour ago I would have said was my closest, dearest friend in a HUGE lie. The really bizarre part is that I wouldn't have cared a bit if he had told me the truth about the situation.

Last Wednesday he lost his job. He called me and told me and we made plans for that night. Twenty minutes later, while I was in class, he called me and informed me thet he was driving down to visit his mother in Phoenix.

All right, kind of let down at having our plans cancelled, but he's a spontaneous person like that and he's really close to his mother.

That night he called me and told me he had changed his mind and decided to surprise his father on a businedd trip to Denver. This seemed wierd to me since his dad is local and they see each other weekly. I thought about it and decided that he probably wanted to spend time with his father away from Evil Step Mother of Doom and the toddlers.

I've spoken to him a few times since then, and he's told me that he's been lounging around in a hotel room, sick as a dog. Aww. I promised him some homemade chicken soup when he returned.

A few minutes ago, while randomly cruising through blogs, I discovered that he's been staying with and going places every night with some other guy's girlfriend in Colorado.

OKAY, so that explains a lot.

I'm not mad about the fact that he's there with her. I'm happily engaged, and if he's got someone to spend time with, GOOD FOR HIM! Goddess knows he's a very lonely person and he could use the company.

Yet...why, Why, WHY did he feel that he had to lie to me about it!? This pisses me off to no end! I trusted him with my deepest secrets, things only DF had known about. He is the only other person I have even come CLOSE to trusting as much as I trust DF. It hurts so much that someone I put that much trust in felt that he couldn't trust me enough to be honest about what he was doing.

I'm glad he's three states away right now, becaus eI have some choice words running through my mind. The question is, do I bring this up to him when he returns? If so, how?

[aly]

Yup, I would bring it up. I think I'd just ask him point blank why he lied and tell him he betrayed your trust.

If he's a good friend, he'll explain himself and understand he has to earn your trust back.

[micki76]

Maybe he just felt that you would be disappointed in him since he’s with someone else’s girlfriend. Even though you may not judge his actions, his conscience may already be judging them. Whether you know the girlfriend and her boyfriend aside, maybe he just didn’t want to look like less in your eyes. Sometimes we do things that disappoint ourselves and maybe he feels like a piece of crap already and just couldn’t bear to have you know his shameful (I assume shameful anyway) secret.

[ramanth]

If he put it in a blog, then he shouldn't be surprised that you found out. I don't get people some times....

I agree with what Aly said. Ask him about it.

[moosmom]

If there's one thing I cannot tolerate, it's being lied to, ESPECIALLY by one of my close friends or family members. I can deal with the truth FAR more I can being lied to. Fortunately I've never been in that position.

I think, IMO, maybe he feels he couldn't tell you because you'd be hurt that he was spending time with whats-her-face, rather than you. I would level with him and tell him how you feel.

[amoore]

Im sorry your friend did that ,makes me feel the same pain you are feeling . I had a so called friend like that once . They have no Idea how that hurts !
The Goddesses shudders over that kind of treatment of a friend .
but i hope he thinks about the way he did you .
It sounds like you were a good friend to him . Im sorry he did you that way .

[RICHARD]

the male perspective??

If he lied to you once, He'll lie to you again and again and again and again.

The reason he is playing this game is he wants to
keep his credibility with you and have his cake ....


(I know I butchered that saying.....the joke was too easy..)

There is a difference between being lonely and spending time with someone else's squeeze...


He got one thing right-you don't tell anyone that you are 'seeing' someone else's GF-you lie about it. That way people can't say you are backstabbing your friend by seeing HIS GF!!!

There's nothing worse than having YOUR friends think you are a cheating punk...they won't want you to hang around with THEIR GF's at social functions.

Being 'spontaneous' is just another way of saying,

"Hey, something else came along-I have to cancel our plans....."

[moosmom]

RICHARD,

That was a great way of putting it, from a male perspective.

I also think you're right. This guy wanted his cake and eat it too. Too bad for him for being such a jerk. Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by moosmom
RICHARD,

That was a great way of putting it, from a male perspective.

Oh great,
Now every man knows I have ratted them out...


Thanks.....


Bring it up to him???

NO WAY.

looking into my crystal ball......

Don't call him.....He'll call YOU and make nice with you, trying to make up the canceled plans...

He won't bring it up......In true male fashion he thinks that,
the unspoken did not happen, SOOOOOO if you don't mention it it everything is O.K.!!!!

Put him off and if he doesn't mention it on the second phone call your friend is a true red blooded male.....I'm not talking about the river either...(D NILE).

-------------

Now, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO MAKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE...

Read thru the blog again, memorize some key phrases, passages he has written.

Arrange to meet him someplace, engage him in some light conversation and then start dropping some B-Bombs (blog bombs) in....

This one is always fun....

Look across the room and say, "Hey that looks like --------- (name of the other guy's GF) when he throws his neck out turning around, say something like, "Oh I thought that was ---------- SMITH from grade school......"



lololol

Men ....

[Tonya]

I think that Micki is right he was probably to ashamed to tell you. But that still doesn't make it acceptable. I would talk to him about it. I would explain that you would rather hear the truth no matter how bad it is then be lied too. Sorry that had to happen to you, I can't stand being lied to either.

[iceyshiver21]

Originally posted by RICHARD
Oh great,
Now every man knows I have ratted them out...


Thanks.....


Bring it up to him???

NO WAY.

looking into my crystal ball......

Don't call him.....He'll call YOU and make nice with you, trying to make up the canceled plans...

He won't bring it up......In true male fashion he thinks that,
the unspoken did not happen, SOOOOOO if you don't mention it it everything is O.K.!!!!

Put him off and if he doesn't mention it on the second phone call your friend is a true red blooded male.....I'm not talking about the river either...(D NILE).

One of two words are running through all men's minds right now-
"Damn never thought of that" or "traitor!"