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Thread: Brain Cramp??

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Never has the Last word.
    Posts
    14,277

    Brain Cramp??

    -----Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
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    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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    "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
    the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
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    "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President
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    "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
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    " It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
    another" --George Bush, US President
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    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca
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    "I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the
    truth. I assisted in furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
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    "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
    Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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    "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
    people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President
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    "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP
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    "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery
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    "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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    "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
    go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
    next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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    Keeganhttp://www.dogster.com/dogs/256612 9/28/2001 to June 9, 2012
    Kylie http://www.catster.com/cats/256617 (June 2000 to 5/19/2012)
    Kloe http://www.catster.com/cats/256619
    "we as American's have forgotten we can agree to disagree"
    Kylie the Queen, Keegan the Princess, entertained by Kloe the court Jester
    Godspeed Phred and Gini you will be missed more than you ever know..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
    Posts
    10,060
    Hehe, I've seen that one before but its still funny to read again
    Alyson
    Shiloh, Reece, Lolly, Skylar
    and fosters Snickers, Missy, Magic, Merlin, Maya

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    North Wales, UK.
    Posts
    11,880
    Unbelievable!

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Maryland,USA
    Posts
    1,095
    LOL!
    ~Your best friend doesn't have to be human~

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Posts
    12,662
    I am sitting here laughing out loud and the dogs are looking at me, wondering what's wrong! Thanks for the belly laugh Staci!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    7,660
    Oi, I'm laughing so hard...I really needed that after a long day!! I hadn't seen that one before.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Tucson, Az
    Posts
    9,428
    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
    This is my favorite.
    I've been Defrosted!

    Thanks for the great signature Kay!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    wisconsin
    Posts
    6,164
    lololol! So funny!

    twitter.
    http://twitter.com/meganxxjo



    now she's slowly opening
    new eyes.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    7,473
    LOL!

  10. #10
    LMAO! I think that is so funny!

  11. #11
    LOL! I needed that, thanks



    My babies: Josie, Zeke, Kiba, Shadow (AKA Butter)

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Minnesota, United States
    Posts
    2,305
    OMG!! Funny...haha again another thread makeing my night

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    BC, Canada
    Posts
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    Those are hilarious!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Brisbane, Australia
    Posts
    1,980

    LMAO

    "It must be a budget. It has numbers in it." ... George W. Bush

    ***************

    When asked by a British schoolboy what the White house is like, Bush replied with the following:

    "It is white."

    ***************

    Aren't these inept pollies a worry! LOL

    Mum to two little humans, a very vocal 14 year old Ragdoll, and a super energetic and snuggly rescue kitten.

    RIP Nibbler, joined the Bridge 12 May 2007.
    RIP Pixel, joined the Bridge 24 November 2017.

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