Klamz juice hangover??

[gini]

Cinder and Smoke are whispering that their Dad is acting kinda funny today. Said his face is about the shade of this type. They are thinking there just might have been a little too much "celebratin" with the KLAMZ!

Word is that Clara came to visit and brought her friends.........Randi and Jonza sent her as a present!

Anybody have any rem-ideas?

[jonza]

The Clamor Over Clams!

As an special service to our avid readers, we are
reprinting this interesting article from 1992 by Randy Kreil:

Originally published in: North Dakota Outdoors (June, 1992)
Official Publication of the State Game and Fish Department

A clamor rang throughout the state during late summer of 1990.
From the halls of the state capitol to the Bronco Cafe in Lisbon,
"clams" emerged as the new topic of conversation. Are North
Dakota clams edible? The answer is a qualified yes.
However, eating them may not be without some health risk!
Freshwater mussels have no head, eyes, or appendages.
The insides consist of a mass of muscle, soft tissue, intestinal
tract, and reproductive organs. A clam feeds by siphoning water
through its internal digestive tract, where food is filtered out and
digested.
Clams don't get around much and are usually found in colonies
called beds. They often bury themselves in the mud or sand
bottoms of streams, with only their back ends exposed. This
provides protection while allowing the siphons to bring in food,
water, and oxygen. The fact that clams occur in beds is also
helpful to their reproductive efforts (!)

The sex life of a freshwater clam is less than romantic and can
best be described as a hit-or-miss proposition. The male simply
flushes out sperm through its out-going siphon and the female
must draw it in through an intake siphon. The odds for successful
fertilization are naturally increased if the male and female are,
pardon the pun, in the same bed. The clams' low position on the
food chain and manner of feeding allow for ingestion of unhealthy
by-products of human activities. When a clam filters out the
micro-organisms from sediments, it may also be absorbing toxics
such as heavy metals, pesticides, and industrial pollutants.

If North Dakota clams aren't in demand for their edible qualities,
why were they such an interesting subject at coffee shops and in
government offices around the state? Are there other uses for
clams we may not realize?

We leave this up to the individual reader to decide!

[Randi]

Uhh Gini, do you think our dear Phred can stand much more. The mere thought of Klam juice after such a celebration would turn ANY man's face a pale green color! However, I think it will go very well with the red firetruck!

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Originally posted by jonza

Freshwater mussels have no head, eyes, or appendages.

The sex life of a freshwater clam is less than romantic and can
best be described as a hit-or-miss proposition.

Poor Klamz!!! WHAT DO THEY DO FOR FUN?

[Edwina's Secretary]

When I saw Clara the Clam yesterday I have to admit what went through my mind. I hate to be so blunt but she is .....

UGLY!!!!!

with not one redeeming feature....that nose, those eyes, her figure! Oh dear!!!! A smile only a mother could love!

Do her friends look anything like her?????

Are they from North Dakota? Are there beaches in North Dakota? Does North Dakota really exist?

[jonza]

Originally posted by momoffuzzyfaces

Poor Klamz!!! WHAT DO THEY DO FOR FUN?

I suppose they just get a kick out of giving human beings food-poisoning!

… and Sara, you must remember these two facts:

a) beauty is only skin deep and

b) beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Clara is very hurt, but promises not to hold it against you. She's used to such discrimination, and really wishes that she had been born as a fluffy little bunny-rabbit or a panda, or one of those other lucky mammals which seem to soften the heart of those brutish human beings. … how can she be so misunderstooood!

john

[Edwina's Secretary]

Clara...I looked at your picture again thinking..."perhaps a makeover is in order?" But ALAS! It's hopeless. Where to begin???? Maybe you can just hold those shells a little closer together....that's it....just a little closer.....keep going....

[sammi]

Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
When I saw Clara the Clam yesterday I have to admit what went through my mind. I hate to be so blunt but she is .....

UGLY!!!!!

with not one redeeming feature....that nose, those eyes, her figure! Oh dear!!!! A smile only a mother could love!

Do her friends look anything like her?????

Are they from North Dakota? Are there beaches in North Dakota? Does North Dakota really exist?

Yes, we are really existing in North Dakota! LOL Yes, There are beaches - far and few between too!
I have lots of clam shells that I picked up at the lake (Minnesota - lake that is!) mixed in with my other shells - good memories.