Sad situation - Hoarding

[Karen]

Not an animal hoarder, but I am taking care of a friend's kitty while she is away, and have to brace myself before I enter her apartment, as I have realized she is a hoarder. Every surface is covered with stuff except for a chair, her bed, and the table she feeds the kitty on. (likely because he would knock anything off of it besides the phone book that sits there.)

Has anyone ever dealt with a hoarder? She is a dear friend, sees a therapist for her struggles with Depression. and is going to have to move soon, and I don't even know how to broach the subject. It's so sad.

[Randi]

That is a sad situation indeed. I'm glad to hear she is getting therapy for her depression, but her therapist may not know about the hoarding situation.

Try to talk to her about the situation when she comes back. I know it's difficult, but something needs to be done - I imagine it's really dirty there and her and her kitty's health could be at risk... yours too, since you are allergic to many things. She will either tell you that she wants to keep her clutter the way it is, or that she doesn't have the energy to clean up. Perhaps offer to go with her to see the therapist next time and talk about it there. Does she have family you could talk to?

I have seen some TV programmes about hoarding, but I hope the situation is not that bad.

There are links out there about helping hoarders, but most are about animal hoarding. There may be group who can tell you how to handle it.

Good luck, Karen!

[Karen]

Thankfully it does not seem too dirty, but just very very very cluttered. I will ask her, gently, if her therapist knows about the hoarding,, or if she even recognizes that she's gotten to that point herself.

[Catty1]

Does she have a friend who might help her? There is one method that limits decluttering sessions to 15 minutes at a time.

http://www.flylady.net/

She can sign up for emails there. I have been receiving them for two years and some it I am beginning to apply. The Flylady says that one of our biggest obstacles to decluttering is our perfectionism. Also, she says "You are not behind!" You just jump in wherever you are.

I am sure she knows about her hoarding. One can be so overwhelmed by it that one never even starts on it.

I wish her all the best.

[Randi]

I just read this, which gives a lot of information on hoarding and possible treatment.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_hoarding

Btw, what kind of cat is it you're looking after? I suppose it's in her home?

[phesina]

I have this problem to some extent myself. I have way too many more things around than I have places to put them.

[Randi]

Ha ha, Pat, I do, too. From the list below, the things in bold I have a hard time throwing out, BUT, I have just got rid of some old IT-lerning books. I do need to give some cook-books away, though.

Listed below are possible symptoms hoarders may experience:

• They hold onto a large number of items that most people would consider useless or worthless, such as:
  
  • Junk mail, old catalogs, magazines, and newspapers
  • Worn out cooking equipment
  • Things that might be useful for making crafts
  • Clothes that might be worn one day
  • Broken things or trash
  • "Freebies" or other promotional products
  
  
• Their home is cluttered to the point where many parts are inaccessible and can no longer be used for intended purposes. For example:
  
  • Beds that cannot be slept in
  • Kitchens that cannot be used for food preparation
  • Tables, chairs, or sofas that cannot be used for dining or sitting
  • Unsanitary bathrooms
  • Tubs, showers, and sinks filled with items and can no longer be used for washing or bathing.
  
  
• Their clutter and mess is at a point where it can cause illness, distress, and impairment. As a result, they:
  
  • Do not allow visitors in, such as family and friends, or repair and maintenance professionals, because the clutter embarrasses them
  • Are reluctant or unable to return borrowed items
  • Keep the shades drawn so that no one can look inside
  • Get into a lot of arguments with family members regarding the clutter
  • Are at risk of fire, falling, infestation, or eviction[15]
  • Often feel depressed or anxious due to the clutter[16]

I think the trick is to sort one kind of items at a time, and then put it in three piles... one to chuck out, one to give away, and one to keep. Then, get the shelves/drawers you need to put it in. I need certain sizes of drawers for smaller things - it would be nice to have one like the below- When it comes to papers, I'm quite organised, I have everything in binders, with labels on each.