I was promoted to assistant manager last summer. The coworker who wanted to position has given me headaches all year. The manager left for vacation on Thursday..... friday and today were loooong days.
Th man who got passed over for the promotion is like a child. A 50 year old child. He pokes and prods until you you react. Thursday night after the boss left, he spent all night saying thing like, "oooo, Kim is in charge now, watch out because she's going to change the rules!" or "Its going to be a fun week because I get to pick on Kim all week." Poke poke poke, like a little kid poking his brother in the arm and then pretending he didn't do anything once the brother starts screaming.
Good grief! The more I try to ignore him, the worse he gets.
This morning, he showed up in a polo shirt. Men HAVE to wear shirts and ties. I said something to him about him being casual, but I did NOT tell him to change or that he should be dressed differently. He knows, and I KNEW it was a test. I have to treat lightly around him. Ten minutes later, something else happened (not important WHAT, just that something happened) and he started screaming at me. Telling me how awful and unfair I am. It all stems from jealousy because he wanted the job. I stayed calm and didn't fight. I state clearly and calmly what is expected from him on his job. I told him to stop worrying about what other people do. I told him I was aware he was starting a fight on purpose.
I had to keep from laughing when this 50 year old man also said, "I told my mom that you'd make an issue of this shirt!" He had a shirt and tie in his car.
He started to send an email to the boss's boss about me. I told him he should think twice before he opens that door because I would come out better ---- Go ahead and tell the boss how you're out of unniform, how you refused to do your job. See how far you get with that email. So he didn't send it. The funny thing was that once he had his little temper tantrum, he was okie dokie the remainder of the day.
The big boss called to check in after the whole blow-up. I told him everything was slow and that I needed to talk to him when he had a minute - he said he'd call me tomorrow. My question is this: do I tell him we had issues but I fixed them? The boss is well aware of this guy's personality.
This is the first time since being promoted that I am completely in charge. I want to have my manager's confidence to leave me more often, as well as the big boss's confidence. But I also want them to know what happened. Do I say, "Hey Big Boss, this happened yesterday but I handled it" or just tell them there was some tension (without saying who) and that we worked through it, or tell him what he wants to hear -- that everything is perfectly fine and running smooth ????
Hubby says I should have written the guy up for insubordination (he was SCREAMING at me and slamming things) but my manager always threatens to do that and never follows through. Why should I be the first person to write people up in my office?
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Originally Posted by Karen
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