Cleanin up ater your baby passes...

[fragrancehound]

How do you clean up the bowls, dishes, toys, etcs..when your baby passes? I know I have to take this stuff up and put it away but I am just a wreck. Part of me looks at Shadow's bowl and thinks this is it....He really is gone. I still can't believe it. At the same time I want to clean things up just because it does serve as a painful memory that my baby is no longer here with me, cuddling up with me and sleeping on my legs. I feel so lost.

[Freedom]

Just leave things for now. At least, that is what I do. I saw this post, but went and read the memorial posting first. This has all just happened, and it was unexpected. Do what feels comfortable to you. Just now I suspect you are in shock as much as anything. I usally leave things in place for a few days, and I know when the time is right to put them away.

Sending you cyber hugs at this difficult time.

[Shady]

How do you clean up the bowls, dishes, toys, etcs..when your baby passes? I know I have to take this stuff up and put it away but I am just a wreck. Part of me looks at Shadow's bowl and thinks this is it....He really is gone. I still can't believe it. At the same time I want to clean things up just because it does serve as a painful memory that my baby is no longer here with me, cuddling up with me and sleeping on my legs. I feel so lost.

First and foremost...I'm sorry for your loss..nothing anyone can say at this point will ease your pain..it's a process you really need to go through.

I know from recent experience, I have lost two of my babies in the last four months, and one of my remaining babies is not long for this world either...so I am pre preparing myself for yet another to leave me.

What I did, was gather up things that were near and dear to them..I found a special pretty box for each, that were individual and lined them with pretty fabric, and placed all of her favorite items inside. I included locks of their fur, special pictures..toys, dishes, just anything unique to them. And then there were the ashes.

It's very hard and very emotional, so take it as it comes and do it (or whatever you do) in your own time..it's part of letting go. Do not rush..it's so fresh and too soon. You will know in your heart when it's time.

These things you can keep in a special place, as a memorial, if you so wish. Personally I will take a version of this memorial with me when I go.

I still get teary, mine were one month ago and three months ago. It can be a slow process.

For me, adding another baby after two months time, (or thereabouts) helped me tremendously..you will never forget your babies, but you have lot's of room in your heart to love another.

Take care.
Tess

[happylabs]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I think everyone is different in this situation as to when to put things away. If seeing the bowls and toys makes you sad, put them away for now. You can bring them out maybe at a later time when your pain has subsided a bit and let them bring back good memories.

I had Casey's toys laying around my house for probably over a year. I also kept her two paw-print ceramic bowls and believe it or not, they are still on the floor in the corner of the kitchen. One bowl is used for the cats to drink their water out of. The other bowl Zoey uses when she comes to visit.

Shadow was a handsome cat. I see his pic below in your signature.

Thoughts and prayers for you.

[moosmom]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You'll know when the time is right. When my soulmate RB MooShoo passed 2 years ago, I slept with the bag of his ashes wrapped up in his baby blanket with his scent on it for almost 6 months before I was able to finally put everything away.

Everyone grieves differently and at their own pace.

Your Shadow was a beauty and reminds me so much of my 20 lb Tuxedo Spike.

[fragrancehound]

How do you deal with the overwhelming guilt? I feel so horrible that I could not be there in his time of need. I feel like crap for not being there when he passed. It is killing me inside.

[Karen]

How do you deal with the overwhelming guilt? I feel so horrible that I could not be there in his time of need. I feel like crap for not being there when he passed. It is killing me inside.

Do not feel guilty. You loved him the best you could his whole time with you. Do not focus on his last minutes, but on the years of happiness you had together, that's much more important. Picture him happy and whole, and know you will see him again some day at the Rainbow Bridge.

[Shady]

How do you deal with the overwhelming guilt? I feel so horrible that I could not be there in his time of need. I feel like crap for not being there when he passed. It is killing me inside.

Try to cut yourself some slack, you're being incredibly hard on yourself, if it helps any we all do this. I know there is guilt, mine was/is not being able to save them. I felt I failed them. In time you'll come to accept that you did what you had to do but, Shadow had to go, he couldnt wait for you to be with him...his suffering became too great..and if you stop and think about it, you'll realize you wouldnt have wanted him to suffer one second longer than he needed to, under any circumstances.