Getting over the loss of a child

[luckies4me]

Hi everyone, I know this is not pet related but I really need to just talk to someone. I don't feel like I can share my thoughts with my spouse at this time.

I just want a little advise about getting over the loss of my baby. I was two months along when I lost her/him. I have been thinking about the baby everyday and I just can't shake the thought of it. I still have my pregnancy test in the bathroom so I cansee it every time I go in there. It's the only thing I have of her/him.

I hate seeing people who are pregnant and knowing I should be in that situation too. A close couple of my partner and I's are expecting in January and it makes me feel awful just looking at her, although I am happy for them at that same time.

So maybe it is sort of pet related. Maybe someone can tell me how they got over the loss of a pet or something and it might help. I justhate feeling this way and I don't have anyone to talk to. I really want my baby back.

[Chinadoll]

Oh my!
I wish I could give you advice that would make it all better...but I have none. I could offer such platitudes as it was meant to be or it was his/her time or they're in a better place now...but that's just a bunch of bs. I know I wanted to slap people when they told me that when my grandfather died. I knew they meant well...but I really don't think they knew what they were saying.
All I can is is that I'm deeply sorry for your loss. No mother should ever have to go through the pain of losing her child.
((HUGS))

[All Creatures Great And Small]

I feel so bad that you can't share your feelings with your spouse - have you talked about it at all with him? Do you know how he's feeling about it? Maybe he doesn't know how to react, either, and is being very quiet about it. There really is no cure for the (psychological) pain other than time. When my mother-in-law lost her husband, I know she found great solace by attending grief counseling classes that were offered by the cemetery where he was interred. She also joined a grief support group of women going through exactly what she was, and they could get together and talk about it. You could check with your local hospital, funeral homes, or cemeteries to get in touch with a grief counselor. (The ones my mother-in-law met with were free of charge.)

Hang in there -

[ramanth]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[iceyshiver21]

I wish i know what i could say to help you but i dont think there is anything i can, im so sorry.

It is really necessary to talk about this with your spouse . This is so important now .. . We went to similar problems , and you really need each to get over it !! I will PM you , okay

[Sudilar]

I am so very sorry. {{{hug}}} I will pray for strength and courage for you.

[Vermontcat]

I have had friends and cousins who have been through what you are going through. They have all gone on to have healthy babies when they were ready to.
I will also send you a PM.

[popcornbird]

Oh no! I'm so sorry about your loss. I don't think I can offer any advise except to be thankful for the adorable little boy God has given you (the one in your avartar) and to pray for another little boy or girl to be born in your family. It can be hard. My mom lost many before they were born too, but God gave her us and she is thankful for that. Hopefully God will give you another child someday soon. Just be patient, give your little boy a hug, and hopefully, some day, you'll be showing your child his newborn baby sibling in the hospital!

[catland]

I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have mentioned, you really should try talking to your spouse. He's grieving too, although he might not show it.

While I would never even dare attempt to compare the loss of a pet over the loss of one's own child, I can say that it does get better with time. It must be so hard because you only have the "what might have been's" to think about.

I don't know how long ago you lost your baby, and I'm certainly not in anyway a medical person, but it would seem that your hormones are probably still wacky, which is causing everthing to seem that much worse.

I don't know of any, but I'm certain there are web sites in existence that have support groups for people in your situation.

I guess that finally I would say, your emotions are real, you have a right to cry. But if this goes on for too long, you might want to visit your doctor because you shouldn't suffer in silence. Do you belong to a church - is there a member of the clergy you could talk to?

Finally, and I know this sounds so trite at a time like this, you need to count your blessings. As much as it hurts to see your pregnant friends, celebrate their joy with them.

Well, I guess I've gone on long enough. We're all thinking about you here, so take care and keep in touch.

Julie

[ChrisH]

I am so very sorry about your loss. I know that when my husband died, even though we knew it was coming, I still felt so lost and just wanted him back. Losing a baby must feel a hundred times worse. I so wish I could help you, but all I can do is to say again how sorry I am. I will pray for the comfort and help you need to come to you. God bless.
Hugs

Chris

[Karen]

Don't give up. Mourn the baby you lost, treasure the one you have, but realize that there is still plenty of time and hope for another baby in your life. Plant a little shrub in a corner of your yard if you can, to be a living memorial for baby.

Not to go into too much personal history, but my Mom was told after my big sister (I also have an older borther) that she wouldn't have any more children. Well, not only am I here, but I have a younger brother, too! (When we were being good, Ma would call us her "miracle babies!)

Do mourn, don't let anyone tell you you shouldn't, but remember there's hope. My prayers will be with you.

[Cataholic]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have sent you a pm.....

[mugsy]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know I have never had nor never will have children, but I'm sure it is devastating. I too will reiterate that you need to talk to SOMEONE, preferably your spouse, but anyone who is experienced in grief counseling would do and perhaps that way you can gain the confidence to talk to your spouse. My thoughts will be with you.

[luckies4me]

Thank you all so very very much. All the ideas and comments are really helping. Dan is at work right now but I will make an effort to speak to him when he arrives home tonight.

I have not felt comfortable talking to him this week as he has been working really late and is tired when he gets home. I have been making an effort to spend more quality time with my son and being thankful for what I do have. Thank you all so much.