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Thread: Rule Number One

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Methuen, MA; USA
    Posts
    17,105

    Rule Number One

    The Man Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear ' the rules'
    From the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.


    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
    ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do..
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
    or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -

    to give them a bigger laugh.
    .

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    columbus, ohio, usa
    Posts
    3,110
    ....and all most all of them are true......
    joyce who has princess peanut, spokesdog for the catpack, mojo, magic, kira and squirty, members of the catpack, angel duke, a good dog who is missed and angel alex the wonder dog, handsome prince.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Glenside, pa
    Posts
    7,399
    I'm hiding this thread from John. Afterall, I'm NEVER wrong (but seldom right)



    I've been Boooo'd!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Seward's Folly, AK
    Posts
    3,679
    Rule number 1, its the most important.
    I have a HUGE SIG!!!!



    My Dogs. Erp the Cat.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas Jefferson
    Tyranny is defined as that which is legal for the government but illegal for the citizenry.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Kentucky, LAND OF THE EASILY AMUSED
    Posts
    25,224
    Quote Originally Posted by Freedom View Post
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Don't even start-
    My RBGF would BUG ME TO GO CAMPING.

    So, that arguement may not work!

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