I don't get angry often, but today! UPDATE! I FOUND A PLACE!

[Donnaj4962]

I AM SO FRIGGING MAD! I don't get this way all that often. I can usually take things in stride. But today I am at the end of my rope! Let me apologize NOW for this long rant. I need to know what you would do if in my situation.

To start, about this time last year, a "friend" of mine started literally begging me to move in with her and share the expenses in her home. I finally relented, thinking that I would be able to save some money (finally). I moved in Thankssgiving weekend and she then decided to move in with her boyfriend after only a couple of weeks. This is what she had been wanting all along, she was just waiting for it to happen! So once I had been here for only about 4 months, her BOYFRIEND comes to me and tells me that she needs me to pay $100.00 more per month! I told him that my "lease" was with her, and that I would prefer to discuss this with her. (I have known for a while that he is very money hungry and she will go along with whatever he says!) Well, after some negotiations, I started paying a little more per month. She was rarely around, and when she was, everything seemed fine. Until June, when I asked for some stools back that she had borrowed. She told me she would get them to me: "I think I know where they are". So, 2 weeks later, she and he show up UNANNOUNCED and start wandering through the house. I was on the phone when they arrived and chose not to end my conversation since I thought they had just stopped in to look around. (She and I are technically "roomates" and so they can come in unannounced.) Well, when I asked about my stools, I am told, BY HIM that one had broken. I wasn't concerned about that. They were cheap to start with. So I said that was okay, they could just bring back the other one. I was then told that he HAD THROWN IT AWAY!!!!!!!!!! What the???? So instead of saying something that I would regret later, I moved into the other room and continued with my phone conversation. They left without saying a word! But a few minutes later, my home phone rings and it is HIM screaming at me and calling me names that I won't say on here! He didn't like my attitude! I said that I had loaned the stools to her and that I would like to discuss this with her. He hung up. She has refued to talk with me about it! I have left her several voice mails, asking her to call me, but she won't. One day she was at the house while I was here and when I asked if we could talk about it she said she is too busy. I asked to schedule a time. She said she would come over at 8 the next morning (she works nights and gets off at 7; I have to be at work at 8 am!)

So, NOW, she three weeks ago, she leaves me a voice mail (at home) in the middle of the day (she knew I would be working) and she tells me she is putting the house on the market!!!!!!!!!! She couldn't even tell me in person, or ask me to call me so we could talk. So today.... I come home from work and she is showing the house! She has MY candles burning to make the house smell better! AND HE IS HERE! I cannot beleive that she had the audacity to show the place with out giving me some notice. After all, it is MY things that are in the house and I would have wanted to put some things away! So now I am going to have to try to talk to her again about my privacy and courtesy!

I am looking for a new place. It is hard to find a rentalk with what I can afford. But I look every day and am trying. I want out of here asap. The saddest part about this whole thing? I have lost a friend.

What would you do in my situation?

[sasvermont]

First of all, in my humble opinion, this lady is not a true friend. Friends don't treat each other this way.

If you have nothing in writing, lease/rental wise, you are screwed.

Lastly, I think she will have a hard time selling a house knowing what the market is in many parts of the country.

I would find a place to live, quickly, and leave the situation. I really would consider the "friendship" stressed beyond the normal...and write this off to being a bad lesson in life.

I am sorry your friend couldn't and wasn't more honest with you.

[kuhio98]

First of all, in my humble opinion, this lady is not a true friend. Friends don't treat each other this way.

Yeppers! You need to re-evaluate what you call a friend. 'Cuz her definition of friendship is a one-way street. All coming her way.

Count yourself lucky to cross this one off your list instead of trying to make it something that it so obviously isn't.

Demand more from friends. (Like to be treated with dignity and respect). True friends will live up to your expectations -- yeah, sometimes they will let you down -- but not MOST of the time.

Ask yourself, "Would I ever treat a person this way?"

[Karen]

Find a copy of the lease, and read it to figure out what your rights are. She is not, as the others mentioned, a friend. She has been using you. I hope you find a better place to live. If you can figure out who the realtor is that is listing the house, talk to that person and let her/him know you live there and would like advance notice of any showings.

[catland]

Karen is right, start with the agreement.

then do the following.

Let her know first, then install a lock on your room.

Unless you both are working 7 days a week, find time to meet with her. Do it at her convenience.

Take pictures of all of your things so if something else is damaged you have evidence for small claims court.

If he ever calls again like that, do one of two things. Either hang up on him, or record the conversation (as always, be civil and say something like "my lawyer recommends that I record all phone calls between us now so I will be recording this call)".

then get the H**L out of that place!

[moosmom]

Great advice everyone. I can't give any other advice than what is already up there.

[jennielynn1970]

Wow. That woman is going to be a very unhappy person once her "love" is gone and so is her friend. Some people will sacrifice everything for a significan other, including friendships, and it's just sad.

If I were you, I'd be packing up and leaving. Pack things, and move them out to a storage facility, a friend's house, somewhere. Just get things packed and get them out. If she wants to "show" the house, let her show it without your amenities.

If you actually had a signed lease, there should have been something about privacy and what boundaries are. It sounds like she and her boyfriend don't know the meaning of boundaries and just do what they want, regardless of what the other party would like to be considered.

The fact that he is doing all the talking, and telling you what he wants you to do, is just showing what a control freak he really is. He's taking possession of her, and technically, her valuables and property. Wouldn't be surprised if he was abusive as well. He may not be, but behavior like that can lead to abuse, and sounds like she wouldn't know how to stick up for herself either, sadly.

I hope you move your things out quickly. I'd do it ASAP.

[Daisy and Delilah]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. How awful. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I also want to say that I'm amazed at how many of these terrible situations we hear about just on this board, not to mention everywhere else. What is wrong with people these days? Doesn't anybody have good judgement anymore? Why are so many people making friendships so disposable? Can we trust anybody and do we really know anybody at all? It really saddens me.

[Grace]

But a few minutes later, my home phone rings and it is HIM screaming at me and calling me names that I won't say on here! He didn't like my attitude! I said that I had loaned the stools to her and that I would like to discuss this with her. He hung up.

That's when I would have moved out - immediately!!

I'm sorry you're having all these problems. I would be worrying about my physical safety right about now.

[kitten645]

I'm willing to bet she can't sell the house and it ends up in foreclosure when your rent money disappears. Karma.
Get out of that toxic situation asap. Unfortunately because of all the foreclosures, rentals are in high demand and very over priced. Good luck yo you and the furkids.
Claudia

[Catty1]

File a statement with the police. Not to lay charges or anything, but just so they have something on record!

You might qualify for a shelter, short - term...do you know anyone who could foster your furkids?

HUGS and prayers going out!

[Donnaj4962]

Here is the latest! The last I had heard was a voice mail the she was takingt he house off of the market. That was a couple of weeks ago. However, the FSBO sign has remained in the yard. So last night, I got home late (I looked at a couple of places, then had dinner with my bf) and there is a REALTOR SIGN in the yard! Well okay then! I listen to my voice mails, and she, once again, leftme a message in the middle of the day on my home phone to tell me that she had decided to put it with a realtor. Now, I have never sold a house, but I think that before the house gets the sign in the yard, you talk to the realtor and sign a contract. So she had a few days before this all happened that she could have talked to me! So, the search continues. I looked at a place last night that I think is a real possibility. However, I have appointments to look at 3 more before I make a decision. I will keep you posted!

[Donnaj4962]

Just wanted everyone to know that I found a place, and I am moving this weekend! I am NOT looking forward to the move, but I am so happy to get out of that house! I called the owner (former friend) of my current place, and it took her 2 days to return my call! So I told her I was moving at the end of the month, and she said that I was welcome to stay until the house sells and I told her that I felt it was in my best interest to leave now and that I had found a great place. She simply said "okay" and hung up! So the next day, she calls me at home in themiddle of the day while I am at work (of course) and tells me that I am breaking the lease and that I owe her some outrageous amount of money! Then she said that she would expect it on October 1. Well, she is NOT getting any money out of me. I called her back, of course, got her voice mail and told her what I thought! I then told her that she needs to call me so that we can talk person to person. Well, she must have gotten the message, since she called me back in a few hours. We talked for quite a while, and I told her that she needs to put herself in my shoes, and realize that I have NO CHOICE but to move. I told her that I had been trying to talk to her for over a month about my moving, but she would never return my calls except to call at home when she knew that I wouldn't be there. I reminded her several times that friends don't treat friends this way. I also told her that she couldn't tell me that, if she were made a full price offer on the house on the terms that the new buyers be able tomove in 2 weeks, she wouldn't accept that and give ME no more than 2 weeks notice. Well wonders never cease, and she said she understands my position. She never said that she would no longer expect the money, but that is okay. If she wants to sue me, she can take me to court. I have all of the phone messages she has left me saved on my phone. While I technically AM breaking the lease, I think that I have no choice since I have no idea when the house will sell.

She called me today to tell me that the realtor is showing the house tomorrow evening. She called me AT WORK! WOW! Maybe I got through to her. I told her there are boxes everywhere and they would still be there, but that I would do my best to make the house as presentable as possible. **I am trying to play nice, she just makes it so hard!**

So, if anyone is in the Fort Wayne Indiana area on Saturday and would like to help me move, come on over! You are more than welcome and we can use the help!

Thanks for everyone's support through this nightmare. I truly appreciate it.

By the way, my new place is great! Lots of windows for kitties to look at people, squirrels and birds! And I will be happy there also!

[Karen]

The new place sounds great, and couldn't have come at a better time! Sorry I am too far away to help you move! My only tip is, of course, corral the cats FIRST!

[lizbud]

Congrats on standing up to her about the situation. Best of luck on the
move into your new place. Moving is never fun, but finding your peace
of mind should make the work go a little easier this time.