Co-worker + kitten

**orangemm** · 12-12-2007, 05:57 AM

One of my co-workers has adopted a kitten and I am trying my best to be non-judgmental and helpful, but lately I have been biting my tongue a lot.

The girl is in her mid-twenties, has 3 small children and a boyfriend. Why she bought this kitten, I will never know because she has always professed not to like cats.

Anyway, she got the kitten (calico) because she felt sorry for it.

Since she adopted it, I have tried to offer advice and helpful hints. She never had any pets as a child, so we have a long road to travel. I even brought her one of my extra scratching posts, a spray bottle and some food.

I haven't heard her mention "Lucy" for a few days, so I asked her yesterday how she was doing. She said (nonchalantly) "Oh, I think I saw her yesterday, but I'm not sure. I think she was sleeping most of the time". Then she said that over the weekend Lucy had gotten locked in one of the kids' bedrooms for a day. I told her to do a "head check" before she went anywhere, esp. with a kitten! Then she said that Lucy didn't like her food because she hadn't eaten it.

I had all I could do not to shake her. I know she has her hands full with a 7 year old, a 2 year old and a 10 month baby, but why take the kitten if you are not going to care for her? I don't want to overstep, but I want to be sure this little one is going to be okay. She is just so blase about it!

I guess I will have to keep probing (politely) and try to offer "suggestions". At one point I almost said "bring her to me!".

Had a hard time sleeping last night worrying about Lucy.

Anyone had experience with this?

**catnapper** · 12-12-2007, 08:27 AM

I wish I knew what to do. I'm in a similar situation where a coworker wants my calico and I don't want to give it to her because I don't think she's getting the calico for the right reasons. You're stuck because you want to help the poor kitten without insulting someone whom with work with every day.

**Medusa** · 12-12-2007, 09:07 AM

I don't usually give the benefit of the doubt because that phrase came into being for a reason: they benefit while you doubt. However.....I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you should stop biting your tongue and speak to this girl. If she's never had a pet before, she may not realize what's she's doing. Or not doing. When I was growing up, cats just came to me and I was only allowed to keep them if they stayed outdoors. They could come in to eat and play a while but my father felt that animals belonged outdoors. Consequently, living in the city, all of my cats died young. Even when I became an adult, my cats were indoor/outdoor. Fortunately, nothing happened to those cats but I still didn't have much sense regarding taking care of them. Compassion, yes but that's about it. Thank goodness I had a good vet who schooled me. If, after you talk to her, she still doesn't take care of the kitty, why not offer to take it off her hands and then find another, more suitable home for it? I know, that's going above and beyond but this little calico deserves a chance and even if no harm comes to her, it doesn't sound as though she's going to get much attention other than food and water, let alone good vet care and a loving human family. Good luck and keep us posted. Thank you so much for caring.

**kimlovescats** · 12-13-2007, 07:08 AM

What a sticky situation!

I think what I would do is continue to nonchalantly question her about the kitten. Then at some point when she seems a bit like she is complaining about it, say this, "it sounds like you've really got your hands full with 3 kids and now this kitten!" Maybe that will open up the opportunity for her to feel free to say how she REALLY feels about the kitten. If so, then that would be the time to offer to help 'her' out and take the kitten off her hands!

Let us know how it goes! GOOD LUCK!

Kim

**catmandu** · 12-13-2007, 10:50 AM

That Sadly Will Be The Kind Of Person Who When The Kitten Needs Spaying, Shots Etc Will Say Oh Shes Too Much Trouble And Dump Her Somewhere.
I Wish People Had The Maturity And Empathy To Realize That They Are Taking In A Living Feeling Animal , Not Buying A Virtual Pet.
I Hope That Kitten Can Win Them Over , But Some People Truly Should Not Be Allowed To Have Creatures Of God Dependant On Them.

**orangemm** · 12-15-2007, 06:22 AM

I try to keep my questions casual, not too probing or nosy. Lucy is using the scratching post and eating well. I am going to approach the "take her to the vet" subject next week. It will probably fall on deaf ears, but I will try. Most importantly, Lucy will need to be spayed in the near future.

At least I can wrap up some little things for Lucy for Christmas!

**momcat** · 12-16-2007, 04:05 PM

Poor little Lucy! Adopting any pet is a responsibility and a commitment. Somehow I get the sense that co-worker has the mind set that Lucy is "only an animal". How are her kids with the kitten? Are they gentle when playing with her or do they tend to be a bit rough on her? Or do they tend to ignore her? As far as Lucy seeing a vet, you might want to ask if co-worker has a vet and if her answer is no you might recommend one.
I sincerely hope I'm misreading things here and Lucy is being properly fed and cared for. This kitty would be a loving and loyal companion to the right person or family. Somehow I'm just not sure this is the right place for her.

**shais_mom** · 12-17-2007, 12:31 AM

I would do exactly what you were thinking.
TELL HER YOU ARE TAKING HER!
You can find her another home if you can't keep her yourself.
This girl cares nothing for this cat.
And if something happens to it like it dies or she boots it our you will never forgive yourself!!
Offer her $5 for her - I bet she takes it! I'm financially strapped right now - but I would dig in my couch for the change to send you- just ask!

**orangemm** · 12-17-2007, 05:33 AM

Believe me, I would take her in a second if I thought she was in any kind of danger. If anything happened to her, it would haunt me forever.

I'll keep poking and see what happens............

**Tora Oni** · 12-18-2007, 03:40 PM

Well I got Stormy merely because he choice to follow me and my big dog home. Even though I made alot of mistakes with him I think he has forgiven me for many things. I did alot of studing up once we got him to see what he can have, what he can't do, whats best for him and even though there is so much more I could do it still sufficient to what his needs are. If Lucy's needs aren't being meet then maybe you should tell the Lady what a cat needs. A cat doesn't depend on you as much as a dog but it still needs just about every other thing on the list but walks. Theres food and water, litterbox, play and love. It doesn't sound like much but thats just daily theres the Vet and Health of the animal to. If you explain to her that a cat is much like a child then maybe she might understand, but then again maybe not.

**Catty1** · 12-18-2007, 08:52 PM

...putting the attached in a nice frame - change the font, colour, pic, whatever - and giving it to her as a gift?

It might be a non-intrusive way of getting a message across - from the pet's point of view. :-)

**Emeraldgreen** · 12-18-2007, 09:34 PM

Maybe next week when you talk with her about the vet visit and the necessity of getting her spayed and the costs associated with getting her spayed she might not be so enthused about this cat that she is already kind of disinterested in. Telling her about the costs involved with future vet visits might backfire though if it then makes her forget about going to the vet altogether but the truth is that it costs money to take care of pets properly and if she doesn't already know she should be informed. And, if she hears about it and by next week she may be rethinking the whole kitten thing anyway, you could come up with a plan. If you knew of someone else who could take her you could suggest to her that you know of some folks who are looking for a calico kitten and they are willing to pay 25.00 for it. (as someone suggested in an earlier post) I would certainly be willing to send some money to you to go towards this. That way she would think she was doing you a favour. Might be a way of getting her to let go of the cat. But who knows, maybe next week she will have a change of heart and will hopefully tell you about how the kitten has settled in with her family.

**orangemm** · 12-19-2007, 05:45 AM

I did bring up the subject of spaying, esp. because I am not sure exactly how old Lucy really is. I was surprised when she said that she had discussed this very thing with her fiance the day before (I think he is pretty level-headed). So I will continue to keep the communication going and emphasize that neutering is extremely important. The last thing she needs is for Lucy to escape and end up with a litter.

If I have to, I will offer her help with the costs. I want to see this baby have a good home.