phases that make me want to smack someone

[Marigold2]

Ok there are several phrases that really really make me want to slap someone.
1) y'all
Everytime I hear someone say that I look them in the face and say
"I don't see a U-Haul. The correct phrase please is all of you. I don't care if Dr. Phil says it. It is not correct and his IQ in my opinion just dropped 20 points.

2) Have a good one. Have a good what??

3) We're pregnant. Talk about dumb. No you are not. Your wife is but you are NOT. The baby is not growing in your body, you don't have heartburn, swollen legs, cravings and a million other things. You are both expecting a baby but your are not pregnant.

[Catlady711]

Politically correct stuff drives me nuts. If the kettle is black call it black if something is bad it should sound bad. Changing how you say the exact same thing doesn't change it's meaning or outcome.

For example....

I have a mailman or a maillady NOT a mailPERSON!

I have firemen NOT fire persons (just so happens all our firemen are actually men here).

I have police men or police woman NOT police persons!

If someone has a problem with a person of a particular race they are a racist NOT profiling!! (who thought up that dumb one anyways? Making it sound nicer doesn't change their actions towards another or make it any more accaptable)

People can be crippled, walk with a limp, gimpy, one legged etc. but I'm not calling them disabled (since many people in wheelchairs compete in sports, people with one leg can do amazing things even two legged people can't, that don't sound 'disabled' to me)

For that matter why bother with disabled? (sounds like something my car does along the side of the road at night in the middle of nowhere) or handicap (sounds like something they do in a horse race to me) or impaired? (sounds like something the drunk is coming home from the bar).

For that matter why does my car have to be disabled? (why can't we just say its broke?)


I'm still waiting for the politically correct versions of nursery rhymes to take over and no longer will our children read such things as....

Three blind mice - henceforth it will be known as 3 visually challenged 4 legged animals since rodent implies something dirty with disease, and since cutting tails off is a violent action and will cause nightmares in all children it will furthermore be changed to their tails being disabled because of nuclear waste.

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater - since keeping one's wife in a pumpkin shell is cruel and shall influence generations to lock up their wives the ryhme will henceforth be changed to him lavishing his wife with pumpkin pies because he loves her so much.

Jack & Jill - is too violent and will influence children to run and play possibly causing harm to themselves or others, so henceforth the rhyme will be changed to they get to the well and find the water is impure so they start a grassroots movement for the environment to provide clean drinking water to their town.

Little Miss Muffet - since the word tuffet is too outdated she henceforth be sitting on an ottoman, and since eating curds sounds like bad cottage cheese, she will now be eating fresh organic garden vegetables. Since her running away at the sight of a spider has a negative impact on spiders possibly jeopardizing their species, Miss Muffet will now start a conservation program to help spiders survive and educate the public on awareness of spider extinction.


Also due to injuries childrens games have to be changed to protect all kids -

Red Rover, Red Rover - studies have shown a large number of skinned knees and damaged wrist ligaments due to this violent game, henceforth the game will now be played with the child being called over walking to the other side and quietly and politely asking permission to join the other side at which point the other children will quietly give him permission. Game may only be played on a thick carpet of grass or over ground covered in 12 inches of woodchips and all children will wear helments, wrist guards, knee and elbow pads.

Hop Scotch - Because of injuries to knees and stubbed toes this game will only be played on thick grass marked out with non-toxic, environmentally friendly dye. Stones will no longer be used to throw, a Nerf ball will be substituted and eye protection will be worn in case an errant ball should poke an eye out. Children will no longer be hopping from one square to another they will walk calmly from one place to another on both legs to avoid potential injury.


I have about a ton more but I am sure you get the idea.

While I may not be 'conventional' (sounds like something they do at a business meeting in a hotel somewhere), but I am quite old fashioned with some things and refuse to change because some people get offended by the slightest thing or because people have an overprotective nature. JMHO

[Freedom]

For example....
I have a mailman or a maillady NOT a mailPERSON!
I have firemen NOT fire persons ( just so happens all our firemen are actually men here ).
I have police men or police woman NOT police persons!
.........
I'm still waiting for the politically correct versions of nursery rhymes to take over and no longer will our children read such things as....

Mail carrier; fire fighter; police officer. Gender neutral terms DO exist and always have.

As for the nursery rhymes, well I guess someone will do it; they already did that to the Holiday Stories! -- the Bedtime Stories -- and Fairy Tales!

http://www.amazon.com/Politically-Co.../dp/0028604202

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Hahahahahaha!!!
I bet people in England cringe at our "proper" English!!!

[K9soul]

I guess I'm pretty accepting of the different ways people speak. It does not make me angry or make me feel like smacking anyone if they speak differently from me or speak with regional dialect-isms. Everyone is different in background, education, location and so on. Some of the silly ways of saying things become endearing in people I've been close to. For example my great grandma spoke very old Ozarks type talk, I suppose hillbilly-like, and I treasured being around her and treasured the way she spoke, even if it wasn't "proper." She was a loving and wonderful lady and when I think of her and remember her saying 'tomaters' or 'worshing the sheets' it makes me smile.

So in general I can't say people's way of speaking or even various phrases they may say gets under my skin. It just becomes a part of that person.

[critter crazy]

I think the biggest thing that irritates me, is when people bust on me, about how I talk! If you dont like what I say, or how I say it, dont listen! This is, after all a free country!

[Sevaede]

I don't really *hate* any bits of speech.

Phrases such as "don't got no" have a tendency to make me wince, though. Again, I don't hate any bits of speech, the people who use them, nor would I get physical with those folks.

My husband is a *very* intelligent and capable southerner who uses "y'all" sometimes. It has never impeded his search for jobs.

[critter crazy]

Ok there are several phrases that really really make me want to slap someone.
1) y'all
Everytime I hear someone say that I look them in the face and say
"I don't see a U-Haul. The correct phrase please is all of you. I don't care if Dr. Phil says it. It is not correct and his IQ in my opinion just dropped 20 points.

2) Have a good one. Have a good what??

3) We're pregnant. Talk about dumb. No you are not. Your wife is but you are NOT. The baby is not growing in your body, you don't have heartburn, swollen legs, cravings and a million other things. You are both expecting a baby but your are not pregnant.

well I say Y'all all the time, Smack me I dare you!

[Cataholic]

WOW! I can't really generate the type of animosity towards people for using incorrect speech that y'all can.

[petslover]

If you come to the south, expect to hear Ya'll. I say it alot.

It really doesn't bother me how people talk, that's their own personal choice.

[Uabassoon]

There are really only two phrases that annoy me, one is "same difference", it just makes me cringe when I hear it. The other I think is a regional thing as I've never heard it anywhere else. People add "well" to the end of sentences for example "are you coming, well" It makes no sense to me and my best friend says it constantly, so of course I must make fun of her for it.

[Blue_Frog]

Corporate speak makes me want to smack someone. For example ...
"We’re an Innovative and Progressive Organization, with an infrastructure that is adaptable to Ever-Changing Global Paradigms. Moving Forward, Our Scalable and Robust Architecture will allow us to maximize Shareholder Value, while maintaining a customer-centric environment. We’re a Leader in the Global Marketplace, and maintain a socially concious attitude."

There. I threw in as many corporate-speaks as i could in one sentence. Someone can smack me now.

[IRescue452]

The word that really drives me nuts when people mispronounce it- betta.

BETA (bay tah)= second letter of the Greek alphabet, or an early version of vhs.

BETTA (bet tah)= fish species, possibly Latin, not Greek letter

[Miss Z]

I often cringe when I hear some of my relatives who live in Oxford (which is, for those who are maybe unsure, in southern England) speaking to each other. Their pronunciation is just too proper for me, very stereotypical English accents. Like 'grass' and 'glass' are meant to be pronounced like you would say 'mass' and 'gas', but the 'a' is drawn out into an 'aahh' sound. Gah! I hate it! Yes, I'm a northerner through and through.

Having said that though, I suppose a lot of southerners are annoyed by northerners' accents, saying we are lazy in pronunciation.

Bu' nay, ahdunt fink tha's t'case attall! Ent nobbut cus-tum!

And KBlaix, I agree about the 'could care less' thing. I mean, if you could care less about a situation, that must mean it's pretty important to you, right?

Oh, and also, 'tongue' is pronounced 'tung'. It is! Nearly everyone I kn ow says 'tong'. For those of you who may not believe me, take a look at the pronunciation guide on dictionary.com. 'Tongs', as in the grasping instrument, is pronounced as it's spelt.

[Marigold2]

I worked at that office once. It was my job to hire people. Can you imagine someone coming in and saying. U-Haul. LOL
I worked with great, intelligent, hardworking, fun, silly people who spoke proper English. I miss that job.
My one co-worker had a green water water pistol and she would squirt me with it when I was on the phone talking like U-Haul just wrote. LOL

Corporate speak makes me want to smack someone. For example ...
"We’re an Innovative and Progressive Organization, with an infrastructure that is adaptable to Ever-Changing Global Paradigms. Moving Forward, Our Scalable and Robust Architecture will allow us to maximize Shareholder Value, while maintaining a customer-centric environment. We’re a Leader in the Global Marketplace, and maintain a socially concious attitude."

There. I threw in as many corporate-speaks as i could in one sentence. Someone can smack me now.