Wwptd?

[Cataholic]

I heard from a reliable source that there was an instance of DV on my street, maybe 5 housed down. I don't know the people other than to say 'hello', and that they had a baby last summer. Apparently, the man beat his wife, and she was screaming "help me", "someone call 911", and some other things. Well, someone did call 911, and about 1 am, there were six cars at the house. The guy charged the officers, and was taken to jail.

The very next day, and prolly ten minutes after I was told, I saw his car come down the street, and he exited the car, and entered the home. I knew she and the baby were in there as I had just saw her come home shortly before this. I was out on the front porch, with Jonah, so I was able to observe it all. He did leave about 7-8 minutes later, with some clothes. I didn't hear anything sounding like fighting, but, I was concerned enough to walk down there and knock on the door. I knocked several times before she answered, and she was all puffy. I just told her I wasn't 'meddling', but, had seen her husband come home, and I just wanted to make sure she was okay. She thanked me, crying, and I didn't have any words to comfort her, other than if there was anything I could do, let me know. I told her my name, where I lived, and hoped things would get better. She was very nice, and I felt somewhat foolish, but, what if something had happened when he was there? Prolly not very likely, but, from what I had heard about the night before, she was pretty upset/screaming for help, etc.

*Should* I do any more? I am leaning towards not, as I don't want to 'get involved', but, then I think, "well, I offered, I don't want her to think what I said was meaningless". But, I am sure she has friends/family...right?

[lizbud]

I think you did the right thing by checking on her. Maybe you could drop
by again sometime & just leave her your business card. Maybe just knowing
that someone close by cares what happens to her would help her feel less
alone.

[Cataholic]

I was thinking that, too, Liz. But, my business cards says I am a lawyer, and I don't want to make her think I am 'in it' for something. (I don't do DV stuff).

But, from a single mom standpoint, I wanted her to feel supported.... Do normal people stress over stuff like this?

[sparks19]

I think the best thing you could do for her right now is maybe try to be a friend.... I know you hardly know her but perhaps send a little invitation to have her come over for some tea or something. Other than that what can you do. the police have been called and he seems to have left. But trying to establish a friendship might give her someone to open up to in case she doesn't have anyone else. or maybe drop by sometime and invite her out for a walk with the kids.

But at the same time you don't want to put your family at risk from this horrible man.

[sweetpatata6]

I think the best thing you could do for her right now is maybe try to be a friend.... I know you hardly know her but perhaps send a little invitation to have her come over for some tea or something. Other than that what can you do. the police have been called and he seems to have left. But trying to establish a friendship might give her someone to open up to in case she doesn't have anyone else. or maybe drop by sometime and invite her out for a walk with the kids.

But at the same time you don't want to put your family at risk from this horrible man.

I agree about mabey taking a walk with the kids.... Or where someone else suggested take Jonah over and say he wants to see a baby because he doesn't remember being one.

[gini]

I think that what you did was wonderful. I don't think you will ever know how much it must have meant to that woman - you probably offered her a lifeline that she never had. Can you just imagine what she is going through? It must be so comforting to know that a neighbor just a few doors away would help her if need be.

Men beating up women - aarrgghhh!

[Prairie Purrs]

I wouldn't leave a business card because of the possibility that the abusive husband might find it. If he's crazy enough to charge a bunch of police officers (and why the heck was he released so soon after that?), then I wouldn't want him knowing my name.

But I also wouldn't assume that the abused wife has family and/or friends who might help. Abusers often succeed in cutting the abused spouse off from family and friends, or they prey on people who lack support systems to begin with.

She knows where to find you and that you're concerned about her, and that most likely means a lot to her right now. Maybe you could check on her from time to time?

[RedHedd]

I think you did the right thing - what is DV?

[sparks19]

I think you did the right thing - what is DV?

Domestic Violence.

[crow_noir]

Thank you so much for opening your heart to her and letting you know that she is not alone.

Yes, normal people with good hearts worry about this stuff. ...Just not as many are as brave to get involved.

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I don't think i could have survived high school with out the support from my neighbors.

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Hopefully your neighbor will take you up on your hospitality if the need ever arises.

I heard from a reliable source that there was an instance of DV on my street, maybe 5 housed down. I don't know the people other than to say 'hello', and that they had a baby last summer. Apparently, the man beat his wife, and she was screaming "help me", "someone call 911", and some other things. Well, someone did call 911, and about 1 am, there were six cars at the house. The guy charged the officers, and was taken to jail.

The very next day, and prolly ten minutes after I was told, I saw his car come down the street, and he exited the car, and entered the home. I knew she and the baby were in there as I had just saw her come home shortly before this. I was out on the front porch, with Jonah, so I was able to observe it all. He did leave about 7-8 minutes later, with some clothes. I didn't hear anything sounding like fighting, but, I was concerned enough to walk down there and knock on the door. I knocked several times before she answered, and she was all puffy. I just told her I wasn't 'meddling', but, had seen her husband come home, and I just wanted to make sure she was okay. She thanked me, crying, and I didn't have any words to comfort her, other than if there was anything I could do, let me know. I told her my name, where I lived, and hoped things would get better. She was very nice, and I felt somewhat foolish, but, what if something had happened when he was there? Prolly not very likely, but, from what I had heard about the night before, she was pretty upset/screaming for help, etc.

*Should* I do any more? I am leaning towards not, as I don't want to 'get involved', but, then I think, "well, I offered, I don't want her to think what I said was meaningless". But, I am sure she has friends/family...right?