TRUISM PUNS

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.


* Police were called to a daycare center where

a three-year-old was resisting a rest.


* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.


* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table
was Sir Cumference.


* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.


* When fish are in schools

they sometimes take debate.


* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.


* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.


* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.

He became a hardened criminal.


* Thieves who steal corn from a garden

could be charged with stalking.


* We'll never run out of math teachers because

they always multiply.


* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles,

U C L A.


* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard.

He did a number on it.


* The professor discovered that her theory

of earthquakes was on shaky ground.


* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.


* If you take a laptop computer for a run

you could jog your memory.


* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.


* What's the definition of a will?

(It's a dead giveaway)


* A bicycle can't stand alone;

it is two-tired.


* Time flies like an arrow;

fruit flies like a banana.


* A backward poet writes inverse.


* If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.


* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.


* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft

and I'll show you A-flat miner.

* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine

was fully recovered.


* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France ,
resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.


* You are stuck with your debt

if you can't budge it.


* He broke into song because

he couldn't find the key.


* A calendar's days are numbered.


* A lot of money is tainted:

'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.


* A boiled egg is hard to beat.


* He had a photographic memory

which was never developed.


* A plateau is a high form of flattery.


* Those who get too big for their britches

will be exposed in the end.


* When you've seen one shopping center

you've seen a mall.


* When she saw her first strands of gray hair,

she thought she'd dye.


* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.