What is wrong with me?

[kittycats_delight]

I don't even know where to start. I have been completely off lately. For probably 3 or 4 months now and it is just getting worse. I am not happy most of the time and it takes nothing for me to want to cry. I have always been a happy person and always the one to over comforting words and a shoulder but I just cannot do it now and it kills me because I want to but I just don't have the 'energy' to do so.

I mean I missed everyone so much from here and now that I am back I barely post threads or even reply unless it is for silly games and things that don't need me to put much of myself into them. I just don't know what to do with me. I feel like everything is a chore even the things that brought me so much pleasure and joy before. I don't know but could I be depressed? I have never had any kind of problem like this before. No type of emotional or psychological issues. I feel completely alone even when there are people around. I don't want to read anymore. I don't want to play games. I don't want to do graphics. I don't want to chat. Hell, I don't even want to shop. Everything just seems a huge challenge. I just don't know.

I am so confussed as I have never felt like this and there is nothing that has really changed in my life recently. I don't know. I just really don't know. Sorry guys I just guess I needed to get this off my chest. I don't want to tell my husband this as he will lose it. He worries too much about me as it is but I know I will have to sooner or later. Thanks for letting me blab on. I appreciate it.

Michelle

[borzoimom]

Honey- it sounds like a mild case of depression- common after the holidays. May I suggest getting some B complex. Take it at night as this is a water soluable vitamin and will pass in your urine- so night time is best.. YOu can get it at walmart, cvs etc..
I love your posts honey- please just hand in there.. I went through a month of depression too, and my words- I am serious it worked for me!

[critter crazy]

I have felt tis way before, and still do sometimes. I am unsure how to change it tho, as it still comes and goes with me. One day i am deeply depressed, and the next day i am my old self. My problem now, is the constant onset of Headaches. I dont want to do anything, I want to sleep all day, and am mostly miserable. I feel for you hun, as I am in the same boat most days.

[borzoimom]

critter crazy- same advice for you.. See we use to eat more green veggies and we dont...

[Vela]

It sounds like depression and it can be very debilitating. If you decide to try the Vitamin B and that doesn't help then you should see your doctor. They can prescribe things to help. Often things like depression are really an imbalance in the body's chemicals and with correction it can help. If there have been no major life changes recently to cause you to feel this way it could very well be hormonally induced or chemically induced by an imbalance in your body. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

[Kalei]

Welcome to the wonderful world of depression...not! I am actually a person that gets depressed alot. There in 2005 I was depressed for a whole entire year, I literally would do nothing but sit on my bed stare at the wall with just candles on and my gothic like music playing. It is so empty feeling and like you just wanna die. Luckily I came out of that, now I only get depressed off and on and try to control it.

I had been taking birth control pills to and my mother told me to go off of them cause she thought they were making me depressed and ever since I went off of them I am not getting depressed as often as I was. Sometimes I wonder if I need depression pills because of how I can get depressed on and off daily. Anyways take the others advice, they sound like they definately know what they are talking about! I think I will try their advice too. I'm sorry you feel so down and I hope you can pull through it soon enough.

[Prairie Purrs]

As others have mentioned, what you're describing sounds like textbook clinical depression. Please see a doctor right away! Depression is an illness, not a character flaw. And it's a serious illness, not something you should ignore or try to deal with on your own.

[wolflady]

{{Michelle}} I had no idea you've been feeling this way What's scary, is everything you wrote could have come from my own writing. I too have felt this way for a very long time, and I have to think it is part of the reason for my husband's and my seperation.
I too was always a very smiley and happy person, full of love and life, and now...it's just a facade. I put on the face, but it's not how I feel inside. It certainly sounds like depression, hon. Like Vela mentioned in her post, it can be very debilitating. Things you once loved to do, you lose interest in. Oftentimes you feel like curling up and being left alone for a long long time.

Another thing that can cause this is thyroid. Before I was put on anti-depressants, they checked my thyroid first, to see if that was the cause of my depressive state. It's definitely worth it to go see your doctor, so you can be on the road back to yourself.

**hugs**

[kittycats_delight]

Thanks you guys all of you. It means so much. You have no idea how much. I am actually fighting back tears just from reading your posts. I had never thought of me as a person to become depressed so I guess that is why I am have a hard time accepting it. I have kinda known for awhile though that is most likely what I am dealing with. I have lived with a few people over the years that have had depression. I actually took my brothers ex-girlfriend to the doctor for this a few years ago just before she came to live with us. I have also been living with my husband about 4 years and he has severe depression. He is doing well though and has not taken a pill for the entire time we have been living together. He has had maybe 4 or 5 episodes in these last 4 years and I am now also living with my brother in law who has severe depression and is on meds and goes to a psychologist once a week.

If I didn't know better I would say it was contagious but this I know is impossible. I think it would make it easier for me to deal with if I could actually think that way though. Cause right now I just can't explain things and that is worse than anything.

Michelle I will pick up some vitamin B complex on Monday when the pharmacy opens as there is no where else here to get it. Remember I am in Italy and there are no walmarts here unfortunately.

Karen thanks so much for the suggestion about the thyroid. My mom was just recently diagnosed with Grave's Disease so I will definately have the doctor check my thyroid. Maybe it is that as I can't seem to lose any weight and I am barely eating.

Thank you all again. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you all. You are great people and you mean the world to me.


Michelle

[jenluckenbach]

Been in your shoes. And in my case it was BOTH tyroid and moderate depression. But medications have helped both problems and I feel much better now.

So, at least TALK to your doctor. And many {{{{{HUGS}}}}} are here whenever you need them.

[lizbud]

It sounds like depression and it can be very debilitating. If you decide to try the Vitamin B and that doesn't help then you should see your doctor. They can prescribe things to help. Often things like depression are really an imbalance in the body's chemicals and with correction it can help. If there have been no major life changes recently to cause you to feel this way it could very well be hormonally induced or chemically induced by an imbalance in your body. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

I agree. This can be caused by a chemical imbalance in your body & it's
a condition over which you have no control. A Doctor could find out just what's going on. Good luck.

[Kfamr]

You've gotten some great advice. I am sorry I don't have much to add to that advice. However, I wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you. I have been in and out of depression for quite some time but have never done anything about it - my dogs have helped me a lot. Don't know what I'd do without them.


Anyhow, I will keep you in my thoughts.

Kay

[luvofallhorses]

Have you thought about going to a counselor, Michelle? I am on meds for depression. I suffer from chronic depression. My animals and volunteering at the shelter helps me a lot, though. (((HUGS))) you know how to reach me if you ever need to talk. please take care. we are here for you and love you.

[dukedogsmom]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm the same way except I've had lots of things happen lately. I've been in bad depression since Duke died and some other things happened at about the same time. Please contact me if you need to talk.I'm sorry you're feeling down.

[kittycats_delight]

Thanks again you guys. I will follow the advice. I will go on monday to get the vitamin b and ask my doctor about getting my thyroid checked. If there is nothing wrong with my thyroid then we will move on to something else.

Krista a counsellor is kinda hard for me here as I don't speak enough Italian and it is rather hard to find one that speaks english well enough. I think I am gonna have to go the medicinal route on this one. I will be in touch Krista. When I have a decent day I will chat with you.

Right now I am heading to bed as it is almost 3:00 am here. So I will check in again tomorrow with everyone.

Thanks guys. You are the best. I really do appreciate all the support and well wishes. (((((((((((((((HUGS TO ALL))))))))))))))))

Michelle