my charming daughter is engaged

**borzoimom** · 11-13-2006, 04:50 PM

and they are looking to set the date. I really like him.
The problem is, me and my ex can't be in the same room. I have a restraining order against him. How can we have a small wedding if we can't be in the same room. I know we both want to go... I told my daughter with my husband there, I would be fine. I just hope she doesn't elope. You legal people- how can we do this?

**borzoimom** · 11-13-2006, 04:54 PM

One more thing- I talked to my lawyer and he said to withdraw the restraining order. I am not happy with that one, as well as in our state if I do he can find me... Please- any ideas?

**kimlovescats** · 11-13-2006, 05:27 PM

Yikes, I have no idea! Like you, I wouldn't want to withdraw a restraining order ... you obviously need it or you wouldn't have it!

I pray that you can find a way to work this out. Congrats to your daughter though!

**borzoimom** · 11-13-2006, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by kimlovescats

Yikes, I have no idea! Like you, I wouldn't want to withdraw a restraining order ... you obviously need it or you wouldn't have it!

I pray that you can find a way to work this out. Congrats to your daughter though!

I just wish I knew a way to keep her day special ... I cant drop the restraining order. I cant...

**borzoimom** · 11-13-2006, 06:09 PM

thank you for you pm's.. This really helped alot!

**Karen** · 11-13-2006, 06:17 PM

Can you not have a one-day exemption to the restraining order?

**ramanth** · 11-13-2006, 06:21 PM

I second Karen's question. Just a short drop. Plus, the restraining order only works if you contact the police or authorities (when or if he tries to break it), correct?

If you are okay being in the same proximity for one day, I would think he wouldn't get in trouble unless you took legal action and called the authorities.

That way you don't have to drop the restraining order and your daughter can have you both at her wedding.

Congrats to her btw!

**Alysser** · 11-13-2006, 06:21 PM

Karen, I was going to ask the same question. I'm happy to hear about your daughter. This is wonderful! Congratulations!! I hope you guys can work something out.

Maybe, you can drop the order for one day, and just don't go anywhere near the guy. Don't be seated at the same table, or by him in the church ect.

**lizbud** · 11-13-2006, 06:25 PM

Originally Posted by ramanth

I second Karen's question. Just a short drop. Plus, the restraining order only works if you contact the police or authorities (when or if he tries to break it), correct?

If you are okay being in the same proximity for one day, I would think he wouldn't get in trouble unless you took legal action and called the authorities.

That way you don't have to drop the restraining order and your daughter can have you both at her wedding.

Congrats to her btw!

I agree with Kimmy.Hope you can at least be civil to each other for the
ceremony. I'd do it for my daughter, if the situation ever came up.

**borzoimom** · 11-13-2006, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by Karen

Can you not have a one-day exemption to the restraining order?

According the court, not- no one day... man- how can I do this????? I mean short of having her wedding a Justice of the peace with police officers... jeeeeeeeeeez...

**Ginger's Mom** · 11-13-2006, 06:55 PM

I cannot believe that your attorney suggested you drop the restraining order. No you cannot drop a restraining order for one day, people would be running in and out of court all of the time if they did that. But, I would think that you can both be at the ceremony. Most restraining orders say something to the effect of he cannot go to your residence or place of employment, nor can he contact you or your relatives by mail or phone for the purpose of harrassing, threatening or intimidating you in any way. Having said that, as long as you both do not bother with each other in any way and no contact is made, there is no breaking of the restraining order. You would not need to contact the police to report that he is at the ceremony as long as you do not sit near, talk to each other, or about each other to others at the ceremony. As long as you can both respect each other's boundries for one day I think your daughter can have a very pleasant and memorable ceremony.

**borzoimom** · 11-13-2006, 07:00 PM

Originally Posted by Ginger's Mom

I cannot believe that your attorney suggested you drop the restraining order. No you cannot drop a restraining order for one day, people would be running in and out of court all of the time if they did that. But, I would think that you can both be at the ceremony. Most restraining orders say something to the effect of he cannot go to your residence or place of employment, nor can he contact you or your relatives by mail or phone for the purpose of harrassing, threatening or intimidating you in any way. Having said that, as long as you both do not bother with each other in any way and no contact is made, there is no breaking of the restraining order. You would not need to contact the police to report that he is at the ceremony as long as you do not sit near, talk to each other, or about each other to others at the ceremony. As long as you can both respect each other's boundries for one day I think your daughter can have a very pleasant and memorable ceremony.

You are right. I cant drop it for one day. I divorced out of abuse. I cant..

**Ginger's Mom** · 11-13-2006, 07:04 PM

But again, the good news is, you do not have to. It sounds like you are both willing to respect each others boundries for the day, and you won't have to sacrifice your restraining order to do it. Congrats, I hope it is a beautiful day for everyone.