Sombra, our 15 year old black Cocker Spaniel had been getting confused and walking in circles the last few weeks. She lost 2 pounds in a month so we decided to take her to the vet yesterday. I had a feeling what he would recommend, but I blocked it out. This vet had seen Sombra for the last couple of years and could tell right away something had changed dramatically. He said he knew this was hard to hear, but her quality of life was gone and it was best to help her before she deteriorated any more.
I wasn't ready, but my wife asked if it could be done right away. If I were alone, I would have taken Sombra home and delayed the right course of action. The tears welled up for my wife and I right way, but we knew what we had to do. I took off Sombra's collar and laid her on the table. The vet brought in a towel for Sombra's head and gave her a sedative. He told us it was quick and Sombra would be asleep in a few minutes.
My wife and I petted Sombra while the drug took effect. She yawned and I put my hand by her nose as I stroked her head. I could feel her breaths on my hand getting deeper and slower. I leaned up against her ear and told her I loved her (She was about 85% deaf, but could hear if you got very close). Before she closed her eyes, Sombra licked my hand twice. Her little grey eyelids fluttered and she drifted off to sleep.
The vet came back in after about five minutes with the final dose. In my mind, I thought it wasn't too late and I could take Sombra home and let her sleep off the sedative. Again, if I had been alone I might have done it. But my wife was strong for both of us and we both held Sombra while the vet gave her the final shot. It was less than two minutes after that when he put the stethoscope on her chest and told us "She's gone." I picked up her limp body and hugged her, not able to speak but I whispered "goodbye" and then held my wife as we both cried.
I know that we made the only choice to help our little girl end her life without suffering and in a loving and dignified manner. But today it hurts. I keep seeing Sombra drifting away in my arms and pray she knew how much we loved her and that she knew we were helping her. I have to put away her bed and bowl and it is worse today than last night. Thank you for this forum - it helps to write it down.
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