Death is a horrible thing....

[GreyhoundGirl]

My friend's mother died. He is 14 and his mom was in her early 40s. She was in a head-on collision with a dump truck. It is so sad. At least she died on the spot, so I wouldn't think that there would have been much suffering. Her son is way too young to lose his mother.

Also far too sad for this poor child is that recentally ( June I think ) his grandfather died, with whom he was very close.

It's summer, so I haven't been talking to him. I thought I might call him... But I got cold feet at the last minute. I didn't know what to say.... Should I not call or say anything and pretend I didn't notice? Help !

Prayers for the family. I'll pass them on.

[cyber-sibes]

Oh yes, call him. He needs friends right now. What's happened is awful, he is certainly old enough to understand everything. If he doesn't want to talk about it, he'll let you know.
Are you pretty good friends? He might like a chance to get out of the house for a little bit just to do something "normal", it's probably pretty chaotic right now. Maybe you can just go to a park or mall or something. Sometimes just having someone around, not really even talking about things, is comforting. I will keep him & his family in my prayers.

[lizbud]

Oh yes, call him. He needs friends right now. What's happened is awful, he is certainly old enough to understand everything. If he doesn't want to talk about it, he'll let you know.
Are you pretty good friends? He might like a chance to get out of the house for a little bit just to do something "normal", it's probably pretty chaotic right now. Maybe you can just go to a park or mall or something. Sometimes just having someone around, not really even talking about things, is comforting. I will keep him & his family in my prayers.

I agree. Just spend time with him when he's ready.

[*LabLoverKEB*]

Oh, my... that's just awful, and so sunnden... I can't imagaine how he, and his family feels. My prayers go out to him, and his family.

[Chilli]

I do agree, call him. People can always use an extra shoulder to cry in situations such as this.

[Soapets]

DEFINITELY call him, and ASK him about how he's feeling, etc. If he doesn't want to talk about it right then, just let him know you're available if/when he does. My mother died when I was 17, and I really felt isolated when peers never mentioned it to me. I felt like they were trying to protect me from the pain by not acknowledging it, but in reality it made things worse. I felt better when some people began asking me questions about it, so that I could talk about it realistically. It is more painful to keep silent about that kind of thing in the long run than it is to acknowledge it and talk about it, in my opinion. Don't ever try to avoid the subject. He's probably still pretty much in shock about it, and it hasn't really sunk in yet. (You can tell him that this is very normal, if it seems to be what he is experiencing right now.) It will take a long, long time for the reality of it to sink in.

Deb

[dab_20]

I can't even imagine the pain he and his family are going through. I would call him. Even if he doesn't want to talk about it, at least he knows you are there to support him when he needs it.

[Dorothy39]

Yes, reach out to him , in any way you can right now. You might send a Condolence letter, writing your thoughts inside a Sympathy Card, then calling him or scheduling a visit afterwards. You might offer food, or a gift certificate to a restaurant, or a shoulder for him to cry on!!!



Like soapets mentioned, he is still feeling numb, as though it is all a terrible dream. I feel so sad for this young man.

It is so hard , so painfully awkward for friends during such a loss. But, do get in touch with him. When we grieve, a letter or a visit is such a soothing balm!!!!!

Bless your Heart!!!!!

[Toby's my baby]

Yes, call him, ask him how he is doing, but don't talk about it too much, he'll just feel really bad, unless he wants to talk about it.

When I was in 5th grade, a close classmate of mine died on Christmas day, and also another classmate of mines dad died within like a month or two. I had a small class, 12 students, so we were all VERY close. That same year I also had another friend pass away from a four wheeler accident.

Also, last summer, a friend of mine drown in a gravel pit. So sad...I've gone through way to many losses...

[GreyhoundGirl]

I'll call him, then... I sorta hope I get an answering machine so I can plan what to say....

[Vette]

Awww... i never know what to say in situations like these either.
*huggies* to the both of you

i hope he'll be okay.

i can somewhat relate.. i lost a close friend of mine several years ago... that was hard enough to deal with... and still dealing with it.
but i cant imagine what it must be like to lose a parent.

[king2005]

Do what I do.. don't call & go over to his house. My friends always liked it when I did that, casue they were able to cry on my shoulder.

[NoahsMommy]

I'm not so sure I agree with going over unannounced instead of calling. His family is in a very, very hard place right now and they don't need to have people dropping in - they need their private time. At least a phone call wont impose on that.

While its hard to know what to say to make someone feel better in this situation, you really don't have to. All your friend needs is to know you are there for him and that you care....that is ALL you have to say.

I will keep him and his family in my prayers. How sad....well, devistating.