Stupid lines from real people...

[Catty1]

Inspired by Richard's peeve thread, I thought I would start this one up.

I saw this on an internet dating site. In describing his ideal woman, one man wrote: "Got to be educated."

Get me to the head of the line for HIM!

Of course, that doesn't even come close to: "Needed immediately - soulmate."

Any other funny lines you have heard?

[Laura's Babies]

This isn't a line but a add in Pensacola, Florida (News Journel I think) My niece was looking at the help wanted adds, there was a add, "Housekeeper needed, $20 a hour, must clean in the nude......."

(Funny part is my niece said she is going to call that number! )

[Lizzie]

Taking Laura's cue, I'll post one that was an ad also and I've kept it on my notice board at work for years:

For information in willing your organist after death, please send a long, stamped, self-addressed envelope to "The Living Bank".

[RICHARD]

Well,

The mayor of Lost Angeles first empowered the kids to walk out of their classes to support the immigration bill.

In todays paper he asked them to go back to school.

reason?

The schools lost almost 1 mil dollars and the police department has been on an alert because all these morons are running around...

Sorry, that was no a line.....but a stupid real person, my mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.

[Catty1]

Richard - better come up to the Canadian Rockies for a break! lol

[jenluckenbach]

A friend went to a fast food place and asked for a taco "with minimal lettuce" and the person behind the counter said "I'm sorry, we only have iceburg lettuce".

[gemini9961]

I posted this in the Peeve thread but as Lobodeb suggested it might fit here as well.

Today when ordering lunch I told my co-worker who was on the phone with another co-worker what I wanted.....a vegetarian cheese sandwich. He proceeds to ask if I want meat on that.....um, that would be a negative, hence forth the vegetarian part.

[sirrahved]

My personal favorite: "I love the new Dollar General. You don't have to get all dressed up to go there, like you do with Walmart."

Go ahead... try to beat that one.

[smokey the elder]

These inspire Bill Engvall-esque "Here's your sign" followups!

[lbaker]

My personal favorite: "I love the new Dollar General. You don't have to get all dressed up to go there, like you do with Walmart."

Go ahead... try to beat that one.

No way..........

[catmandu]

I was at the Vets with Baby Pouncer,my first visit.
The receptionist said youre next Sir!
Oh should I bring the Kitten?
Strained Silence as People tried not to laugh in My Face!