Dear Phred...

[gini]

Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
I believe Phred is over on the Dog Board encouraging them to drink clam juice......

Dog Board response: Yup, gimme those clams, I'll eat em - (tails wag, tails wag)....I'll eat the clams, I'll drink the juice, I'll even eat that tin - Yup, gimme those clams - pant pant (tails wag some more).

BOOTS WALKS AWAY IN DISGUST!

[lizbud]

Psst.... Corinna,

AMEN TO THAT !!!

This thread is by far the funniest, adult humor I've read
on the board in a long, long time. Full of wit & fun. I Love
it, but hate clam anything.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Originally posted by gini


Dog Board response: Yup, gimme those clams, I'll eat em - (tails wag, tails wag)....I'll eat the clams, I'll drink the juice, I'll even eat that tin - Yup, gimme those clams - pant pant (tails wag some more).

BOOTS WALKS AWAY IN DISGUST!

LOL! My cats would try to bury it first; then walk away in disgust!

[Cinder & Smoke]

Originally posted by gini


Dog Board response:
Yup, gimme those clams, I'll eat em -
(tails wag, tails wag)....
I'll eat the clams, I'll drink the juice,
I'll even eat that tin -
Yup, gimme those clams - pant pant
(tails wag some more).

BOOTS WALKS AWAY IN DISGUST!

Sad to report, but the Klam Juice Trials resulted in a major defeet... NO Takerz atta Ranch!

Dad bot da Klam Jug Saturday, jest after we got dun swimmin atta Park. We hadda stop at Cali's howse (we'z Dawg Sittin her while her folks are outta towne) to check onna Katz... So Dad wuz outta da Kar fur a few minnitz .

Sundee wuz to be the day of da Klam Trialz... But da Klamz cunnit be 'found'?? Seemz 'sumbuddie' grabbed em offa frunt seet while Dad wuz Kat-Checkin an they got losted onna back seet unner our blankie. Klamz floated out when the boyz gotz ta GranMom's Village in P-burg...

Mundee Dad whipped up a kuppa Klam Chowdur fur da Kat in hiz kup onna vanity. Offurz it to da Kat.

Instant Fluffie Tail anna big *sneeze*! Dad dips a finner an shoves it inna Kat'z mouf. Tink we herd a lil *grooowl*. "Hey Dad, dont tink he'z too *keen* on dat flavur..."

Shudda kept quiet... Next thig I knowz MY noze iz inna Chowdur Kup ! YUuuuuuKK! I wuz wavin my tung-lickker around till noon!

Smoke getz called inna baffroom - He let out a big Yelp when Dad tried to shuv hiz noze inna kup. Cali hi-tailed it unner the dinnin room tabul an wunnit even *come* when Dad called her! Dad wuz gonna dip anudder finner an give it a lick - but he chikkun'd out. We left wiffa Kat *skowlin* a durty glare fromma vanity.

Dad checked da kup soon as we got home - nary a drop gone! (An no damp sand inna Kat'z sandy box, eethur!) He fixed a fresh kuppa plane wadur - Kat jumpz up an startz slurrpin like he hazint seen wadur fur a week! Dad slopz in a shot a Klam Juice. Kat *puffz da Tail an goez ober an startz lickkin da fawcit...

Toozday da Kat had a selekshun ~
Wun kuppa plane wadur;
An wun kuppa Klam Chowdur...
Toosday nite da vote wuz kast - plane wadur half gone; Klam Chowdur still full to da brim!
Boots Kat is NOT a Klam Fancier!

Morul of da Storrie - we duzint tink ennebuddie inna howse is a Klam Fancier!

Soooo... Ennebuddie out there innerestud inna slitley uzed buckit a Klam Juice!?? Prolly *FREE* to a gud home!

[sammi]

This post is so funny!!!! I like the clam- arr-ea !!
Many old timers posting on this thread.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Sorry Phred. Guess it wasn't a success! But what a slippery bottle of calm juice!

Makes me think of a time right after I was sent on assignment to Mexico. I was invited out to dinner one night by a co-worker and her husband. We went to a very elegant restaurant. Although I spoke Spanish my knoweledge of foods was -- like my diet at the time -- limited to beef, pork, and chicken. I ordered accordingly. My friend's husband ordered a dish with which I was not familiar. Very elaborate preparation tableside -- lots of garlic and who knows what all else. Served on toast points. As a guest I had to try it. I made all the correct guestlike comments..."How interesting!" "Very different taste!" all with the correct level of enthusiasm.

Finally someone figured out how to get through my thick gringa head -- "It's fish that makes electricity!"

She became, and still is, a very good friend. They frequently entertained me in their home. And often, as a special treat just for me since I had enjoyed it soooo much, he would make eel.

Thankd goodness for certain alcoholic beverages!

[Corinna]

Glad to hear boots is drinking again. I was getting concerned we had a cat get FUS and have to be put down . Please check magnesem
level in cat food.
I think any time Phred and the gang get a thread going it gets fun . Been missing these phunny ones, we used to have lots of them. Has anyone heard from Carrie, I haven,t seen her in a while Maybe I missed them as I didn't have much time this summer to read the board. Thank goodness for todays active threads, never could have kept up at all. Good to see so many "old timers".

[Randi]

LOL! - Sara, speaking of blunders when ordering food and other stuff in spanish, I had taught John a few sentences and as we were sitting in a cafe in Spain about to order coffee. As the waiter came, I said: You can do that John! This is what came out - "dos cafe con carne, por favor"! The waiter was falling apart laughing, but got the meaning.
I did a similar one years ago in Spain. I wanted to buy a certain box of colourful soaps, so I went in to a country shop to try and get them there, as I was running out of time. I asked for jamon, instead of jabón.  The aged shopowner - and alone in the shop, came out with a huge ham for me. I kept trying to explain and his face lightened up! The next thing he presented for me was washing powder. It turned out he didn't have the soap at all.

John here... and by the way Phred, one must not generalise about clams, it's just like with people, there's always an attractive one out there somewhere!




Please Phred, be gentle with me!

Hugs and kisses from
Carla the clam

[Cinder & Smoke]

Carla, da Klam, sez...



" Rejection is Sooo hard to take...

Won't sumbuddie paLeeze take me out of this cold jug
an send me ober to the local Klam Rescue? "

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Originally posted by Cinder & Smoke


Sad to report, but the Klam Juice Trials resulted in a major defeet... NO Takerz atta Ranch!

He fixed a fresh kuppa plane wadur - Kat jumpz up an startz slurrpin like he hazint seen wadur fur a week! Dad slopz in a shot a Klam Juice. Kat *puffz da Tail an goez ober an startz lickkin da fawcit...

Toozday da Kat had a selekshun ~
Wun kuppa plane wadur;
An wun kuppa Klam Chowdur...
Toosday nite da vote wuz kast - plane wadur half gone; Klam Chowdur still full to da brim!
Boots Kat is NOT a Klam Fancier!

Soooo... Ennebuddie out there innerestud inna slitley uzed buckit a Klam Juice!?? Prolly *FREE* to a gud home!

LOL!!! Sounds to me that the clam juice worked great. Just keep it on hand and give Boots the option of it or water and he'll start drinkin water like a fishy.

[lynnestankard]

Oh ROTFL - I leave this plaice for a little while and the running aMucK starts!!! Well done all of you - it's been so funny reading this thread from the beginning.
As long as Boots is drinkin' his wadder like a good Kat - we're all happy. xxx

Lynne

[Randi]

Breaking news!

Clams Not Really Happy, Say Experts



OSLO, Norway (AheadOfNews.com) - Marine Biologists at the prestigious Clam Study Center have determined that the expression "happy as a clam" is apparently not based on actual clam psychology.
Dr. Lars Nilsbokken, head Marine Psychobiologist at the center, says that clams are rarely happy in most environments. "Imagine that you have no eyes," he says, "and that you have no arms and legs, and that there is a constant battering of waves that prevents you from hearing well." He hunkers down and holds his thin hands above him, wiggling his fingers. "All you've got is a big mouth, and a foot."

"Now imagine that there is a psycho after you, who is hundreds of times larger than you, and has a sturdy shovel. You can't run, so you try desperately to hide, but you have to be at the surface of the sand to eat. At any moment, you may have to dig for your life, using your one foot." Dr. Nilsbokken's Reebok wiggles frantically in sympathy.

"So the answer is 'no', clams are not happy. Clams are neurotic, fearful, desperate, and lonely." Nilsbokken adds, "If you want happy, I recommend cats. Cats don't need anyone else to be happy, and sometimes, even if you don't want them to, they'll come over and be happy with you."

[gini]

So, when your hands are feeling a little "clammy" does that mean you are unhappy?

[momoffuzzyfaces]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Randi
[B]Clams Not Really Happy, Say Experts
"So the answer is 'no', clams are not happy. Clams are neurotic, fearful, desperate, and lonely." /QUOTE]
Plus clams stink!!! No wonder they are lonely!

[lynnestankard]

And lets face it - their ugly - the weren't hit from a twig off the ugly tree - the whole darn thing fell on 'em!! No wonder their unhappy - would you want your daughter to marry one? No! I rest my case!!!!!


Lynne