I need all the hugs you can spare.

[mina'smomma]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
This thing really IS an emotional roller coaster, isn't it?

All I want is to be able to get through life without thinking that I ruin everything I touch.


Thanks.

Jen,

I've been in your shoes hun and have felt the same way before. I'm here to tell you now you DON'T ruin everything you touch. You've been wonderful not only to me, but all of us to come to this forum. You have friends here, and know that you are still in my prayers. If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here as well as everyone else.

Mina says to send you sandpaper kisses from her.

[jenluckenbach]

Originally posted by sirrahbed

*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
.........

Debbie, you are too much

[Vermontcat]

I hope I'm not too late...
*Huggity Hug Hug Hug*
Sorry I haven't posted here until now, just add me to the hug list.

I bet posting some Biddy pictures would make you feel better, it would make me feel better.

[carole]

Way to go Jen, keep those positive thoughts going, you are on your'e road to recovery, just keep taking one day at a time, and remember some days will be better than others, You are in my thoughts and we here in NZ send you heaps of hugs and well wishes. HUGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSS...................

[NoahsMommy]

Jen,

I've been thinking about you today. I'm glad to see the therapy is going well so far. When you find the right person for you, it really is excellent.

I love your idea to print out the nice comments.

Have a nice rest of the day.

Love, Kelly

[slick]

Still thinking about you Jen and hoping that each day brings more joy into your heart.

luv
slick
xo

[jenluckenbach]

Thanks everyone. Just so you know, I AM still reading all the posts. They mean a whole lot.

Since my councelling sessions are going to be once every other week, and the first session was just a chance for her to find out about me, I can't really say if it is helping yet or not.

I have been feeling better (no crying, etc.) but darn it, I simply cannot stop wondering (this is one of my biggest problems). I want to move past the hurt, but without knowing WHY it takes a very long time.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[catcrazylady]

Jen there is nothing worse than not knowing why! I too am one of the "I just have to know" people. How can you help fix a problem when you don't even know what the problem is?! It would be driving me crazy too.
I can relate this to my relationship with my mother because everytime I open my mouth I get into trouble. I'm 42 years old and still trying to figure it all out. I know in my heart that there are just some people whom you can not please and that just want drama all the time. If there is none they will create it out of something innocent. The reason I'm sharing this is because I want you to realize that your friend may be the same way. My mother makes friends right and left but she can't keep them because she does this kind of stuff. It's not that the other person really did anything bad but she has the need to create something or blow it way out of proportion just for the sake of excitement.
If you had done something that most of us would think was bad enough to never speak to you again then you would have to know what it was. I think you getting counseling for your depression and how you deal with things like this is a great idea but please remember that this person also has some problems and you can't fix her. It's one of the hardest things to except in life, I think, when you can't fix something.
You keep taking care of yourself and let the rest of this just work itself out. Don't forget that this involves someone else and you can not possibly be the only one to blame. The way she has handled this says she has some serious issues too.
We love ya Jen! Hang tough and keep on being you!

[sirrahbed]

*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*
*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*HUGS*

[kuhio98]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
...I saw my new counsellor for the first time today. I like her. We are going to attempt to work on HOW I can stop blaming myself for everything that happens around me. HOW I can stop thinking I need to be perfect in all things. And HOW to stop dwelling and dwelling on only the negative.

Jen: Boy does this sound familiar. I lived like that for many years. What finally made a difference for me is the realization that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION. We all have different definitions of what "perfection" looks like. There is NO way to achieve it -- it shouldn't even be a goal. Life itself, is not about perfection. Life evolved (if you believe in evolution) from a series of fortunate accidents and coincidences. Our lives are like that too. From every so-called "negative" experience, we learn something positive.

The other thing that helped me was learning to GET OVER MYSELF. How stuck-up was I to think that I was so powerful that the world revolved around me? Just my mear presence effected change in others?? I was so instrumental in other's lives that I was ultimately responsible for every thought, feeling or action they took ???? It came as quite a shock to me to learn that I wasn't responsible for other's actions -- I didn't have that kind of power so why should I feel like their actions had anything to do with me?

I learned that people's actions have nothing to do with me. It's all about them. So, why should I feel responsible for them? Lisa made the decision based upon what's going on in her life -- not yours. It would be great if she could give you an explanation. But, really what could she say that would be helpful? Let her work out her issues and you work out yours. Someday, you may be able to be friends again or at least make peace with each other.

There is a saying I heard once -- not sure if this is right -- but something about people come into your life for a season, a reason or a ??? (Can't remember the rest). Maybe Lisa was in your life for a purpose. Her actions (as hurtful as they may appear) have started you on a voyage of discovery about yourself and your life.

Sending you many hugs as you begin this process. Be kind and patient with yourself. You're okay. You're fine. Hundreds of cats, can't be wrong! You know how picky they are.

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by kuhio98
You're okay. You're fine. Hundreds of cats, can't be wrong! You know how picky they are.

I LOVE it!!!

oh - the essay is by Brian A. "Drew" Chalker and is called "A Reason A Season and A Lifetime"

[kimlovescats]

Originally posted by jenluckenbach
Thanks everyone. Just so you know, I AM still reading all the posts. They mean a whole lot.

Since my councelling sessions are going to be once every other week, and the first session was just a chance for her to find out about me, I can't really say if it is helping yet or not.

I have been feeling better (no crying, etc.) but darn it, I simply cannot stop wondering (this is one of my biggest problems). I want to move past the hurt, but without knowing WHY it takes a very long time.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Hey, Jen ... would a new siggy help? If so, e-mail me some pics!

Love ya,
Kim

[rg_girlca]

Jen, I was sitting reading my Woman's World and came across these inspirations and immediately thought about you.
I would like to share them
with you.

A MOMENT FOR YOU.

Release yourself from the need to be perfect. Love doesn't demand perfection. Success doesn't require it. Luck doesn't look for it. Special moments don't need it. Happiness unfolds without it. And whenever you worry that a gathering won't be special if it's not perfect, remember that any occasion is special if YOU ARE a part of it. YOU bring your best to everything you do and every life you touch. That's better than perfect. That's real.

You have the stuff true heroes are made of. Me? you're probably thinking. Not me! But yes, YOU! Because true heroes don't always save lives, they touch them and inspire them. So what makes you qualify? You face challenges, You're no quitter. You do the right thing, even though it's often easier not to. You lend your strength to those who have none, You approcach life with hope. And you'd do absolutely anthing for a friend, and in a crisis, you'd count a stranger as a friend, too.
THANK GOODNESS FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU!

Hang in there Jen, I know you can do it.
Love and (((((HUGS))))

[catfamily]

You are to good of a person to let anyone depress you like this.I use to let people depress me but people are people and we need to love ourselves more than anyone else.I believe that is the ticket to happiness.So forget about your friend and concentrate on how good you are and things will be much better.I am here for you if you need me too.Take good care.Carla

[rg_girlca]

Another thing that I want to share with you that I received in an e-mail the other day.

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally,or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring
the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it!
It is real!
But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

(((((HUGS)))))