The Hardest Decision

[slick]

Originally posted by micki76
I hope it's ok with you, I asked my Dad to meet Peka there and show her the ropes. He loved dogs and will warmly welcome her and keep her with him until the day you're tired and ready to go home, too.

I was doing OK until I read this. Now I'm crying for you, Micki, and Peka. A little over a half an hour to go. My prayers have started.

[binka_nugget]

I'll be praying for you both. Be strong aly and please know that you let her life become the fullest. You showed her love and compassion.

*HUGS*

Peka, when you get there, remember that your mommy loves you very much. Say hi to all those pet talk pups who've passed on.

[Sudilar]

My heart is with Peka and you, aly.

[zippy-kat]

{{{{{{{{{Aly & Peka}}}}}}}}}}

[Cheshirekatt]

Please don't feel badly about not staying with her. Some people just can't be there when it happens and that's ok.

Personally I stay with my critters, but Chris cannot. It's too hard for him and that's fine.

Take care of yourself and we're all here for you. Sweet Peka had a whole long year with you and that's a loooong time for a puppers.

[slick]

Dear Lord
Please help Peka as she passes to the RB and please reach down and give comfort to Aly whom we love and cherish. Help stop the hurt and give Aly and Peka the peace they deserve.
Amen.

[Cookiebaker]

{{{Aly & Peka}}}

[slick]

Aly, I've been waiting around here at work for an update but I guess you are too heartbroken to post. I don't blame you. I pray that God will dry your tears and I'll look for a post on Monday.

Take care.

luv

[aly]

I am just now calming down enough to post. This has been one of the hardest days of my life. I tried to stay with Peka, but I started crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Then I had to stop 3 times on the 10 minute drive home to throw up. When I got home, I started just saying Peka's name and crying so hard. Her stuff is still all around the house. I should have cleaned that up before I left, but I couldn't. And I still can't.

The puppies aren't helping me like I thought they would. My friend said she'd babysit them, but then she went out of town. I want to see my dogs. I'm still too upset though and I'll totally freak them out.

I took Peka for a walk in the park. I cut off several locks of her hair and spread them around the ground there since she loves to walk around there. I mean she loved to ........... I also saved a lock of hair so I can frame it with a picture. Then we went to McDonalds and she had french fries, a cheeseburger, and strawberry milkshake. She really loved the milkshake. I also got her some chicken nuggets which she ate in the room at the vet.

I went alone. I didn't have either of my friends come since the vet who she saw is a very sweet, comforting woman. Peka wouldn't have recognized either of my friends anyway. A receptionist and 2 vet techs assured me they would stay in the room also. It was REALLY nice of them because usually its just the vet and one tech. I talked to the vet for awhile first to be sure I was doing the right thing. She really helped me so much. She agreed that this was the humane thing to do. She said there were several things we could try to keep her alive, but she would most likely still be suffering.

When I got in the car with Peka, there was a song on. I'd never heard it before. The lyrics sort of stuck in my head. I came home and searched for the song. Its called How do you Talk to an Angel? by the Heights. I sort of took the song as a sign that I was doing the right thing. Here are the lyrics:

I see her voice
Inside my mind
I know her face by heart
Heaven and earth are moving in my soul
And I dont know where to start
Tell me tell me the words to define
The way I feel about someone so fine.
How do you talk to an angel?
How do you hold her close to where you are?
How do you talk to an angel?
It's like tryin' to catch a falling star
At night I dream and she is there
And I can feel her in the air
Tell me tell me the words to define
The way I feel about someone so fine.
How do you talk to an angel?
How do you hold her close to where you are?
How do you talk to an angel?
It's like tryin' to catch a falling star.

That song will forever break my heart and remind me of my girl. Another sign I got was at McDonalds. The toy in the Happy Meal was a princess and I always call Peka Princess. She was dressed in pink which was Peka's color. I don't know why I think that was a good sign. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better and grasping for straws.

I can't believe I went through with it. I didn't want to. I wanted my car to get stolen. I wanted to lose my keys. I wanted Peka to be a young dog again starting her life over. I don't know how I did it. I only did it because I don't want her to be unhappy or suffer.

At the park, I told her I loved her and that I considered her mine now, and not a foster.

She was happy in the last hours. I know she loved me. I could always tell. She would ............. nevermind, I can't talk about it right now

When I got home, I went to the park and found some of her hair. I put my hand on it and said a prayer and told her I loved her. I hope that my Dessi is up there showing her the ropes right now. I told Dessi to be nice to her.

[binka_nugget]

Aly, you have no idea how much I admire you for going through with this. It takes alot of strength and I have nothing but admiration for you. You did the right thing. We're all here for you..

[Cinder & Smoke]

Dear Aly ~

You did just fine.

Safe Trip, Peka.
Rest In Eternal Peace.

She's at Peace now, Aly.
No pain, no suffering...

Just a lot of wonderful Memories of Momma Aly.

Now it Your turn to remember the Fun Times with Peka.

{{{Hugs}}} Aly.

/s/ Phred

[tikeyas_mom]

I am soo sorry to hear that !!






why isnt peka in your sig??? does anyone have a pic of peka?? I would love to see her.

[aly]

Originally posted by tikeyas_mom
I am soo sorry to hear that !!






why isnt peka in your sig??? does anyone have a pic of peka?? I would love to see her.

She's not in my sig because I was pretty much considering her a foster. The shelter technically signed her over to me after I had her for a few months though. I still considered her a foster as a protection for me basically. She's always been sick and dying. I was afraid to call her my own and get even more attached to her. I know that sounds so stupid and ignorant of me. I can't explain it. I was afraid to put her in my sig because I never knew when she'd die. It was really scary for me. It really weighed heavy on my soul for the past year. I feel just awful.

[zippy-kat]

TM, if you'd read the entire thread, there's a picture of Peka on page 3.






Aly,
Bless you for all you've done. Peka knows you loved her, you said so yourself. You had two wonderful signs to show you it was time, so don't ever doubt yourself.
I'm sure Peka's free of pain and running happily at the rainbow bridge.

{{hugs}}

[anna_66]

You did the right thing Aly. Now your sweet girl is happy at the bridge

What a wonderful last day you gave her. I'm sure she knew how much she was loved.

More {{{HUGS}}} for you.