Something worth reading.....
A study showed that parents usually control and guide toddlers in one of two ways:
1. Power Control- includes spanking, using force and taking away things or favors. It also includes not hugging, kissing or talking to the child.
2. Reasoning control- means telling the child WHY she should act a certain way, in simple words that she can understand. Reasoning means pointing out that the behavior could hurt her or others.
For example, if your child throws sand, power control might be yelling, or hitting her. Reasoning might be telling her that throwing sand could hurt other children by getting sand in their eyes, or in her own, and she must stop.
Reasoning works better! The study showed that parents who used reasoning were better able to control their children's behavior and teach them to cooperate.
In my opinion it doesn't do any good to tell a screaming child to stop screaming, by yelling at them.You can teach them that yelling is not appropriate, and explain to them why. This is what I do and so far it's working great. My son is very well behaved, I don't know if I just got lucky or what, but I know I WAS NOT that way growing up, but I was also raised differently. I was not disciplined lovingly, it was with a whip and leash so to speak. I for one will not raise my child that way, and I know it's the right way for me, because it's working and I could not have asked for a better child.
Now you all have me thinking what exactly do you consider a temper tantrum? I may be a little overboard, but I think just crying and carrying on is one, Dylan never throws himself to the floor and kicks, although my younger sister used to do that...drove me crazy BTW. If it's kicking and crying and acting like a deranged person than I can honestly say that Dylan has not had one. If that is what you guy's have experienced than I feel for you because it drives me insane! I hate seeing kids that way, grrr. I just think I was blessed.
But not all the things children do are a direct cause from parents, like my younger brother for instance. Talk about a hell child!!! But he had ADD and with Hyperactivity which makes it worse! Finally after a gazillion years we went to a ADD meeting, (funny all the other people there were also shaking their feet, if you have ADD you know what I am talking about) my mom put him on meds and he got the help he needed. Now you would never have guessed, he's a straight A student, so focused and a nice young man.
Believe me, there are parents out there who try and try but the children need more help then the parents can give. Some kids are just plain rotten.
Here is something that helped me with Dylan though:
Guidelines and Discipline: Rules
Sometimes between 15 and 24 months, toddlers may become resistant and defiant. You will probably hear them say "no" a lot. Toddlers want to test their independence and power, and show you how important they are. They may do this by saying "No!" This is a sign they are growing up. Be patient.
Making rules
Early on, you need to choose some simple rules- a few, not too many. Make rules your toddler can understand and follow. Most important, make rules that you can enforce all the time.
Rules like these help your toddler learn that he can and should follow rules- even if he really doesn't like them. He needs to know this to grow into a respsonsible adult.
Be consistent ( I cannot stress this enough!!!!) If you have a rule against candy before dinner, try to enforce this everyday. Otherwise, you teach your toddler that rules don't matter, or that they can be easily broken.
Use reasoning
Explain in simple words WHY you have the rule. Say something like. "Hold my hand when we cross the street so I can keep you safe". This helps your toddler learn that rules have a purpose. Studies show that children follow rules better when they are given reasons. Understanding the reason helps toddlers remember the rule.
I also want to add that other members of the family need to enforce these rules as well. If they are not allowed to do something at home, the same should apply when at the sitters etc.
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Now I know I am lucky lol. 
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