I have a drink problem - Professional opinion

[RedHedd]

"I like being sober"

I do too. Keep up the good work, One Day At A time, one hour at a time, five minutes, one minute, one second. There will be days when all you can do is hang on and root for midnight.

You're doing well. Please do check out an AA meeting. The people there will help you get through the tough times, and there will be tough times. Life keeps on happening even after we get sober.

[Catty1]

Sober is just too cool, I like it too. Life may not get better - but I do!

hugs
Catty1

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm glad that you're doing so well. Being sober is the best.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Guests just gone and I'm sober. Did have one vodka and tonic but realised that I didn't really want it so switched to plain tonic water for the rest of the evening. I'm going to wake up feeling sooooooo good tomorrow

and my sister in law commented that I seemed to have so much more positive energy around me compared to the last time she saw me

PS face the ultimate challenge today - a day with the dragon-in-law while sober....

[Catty1]

In AA, my sobriety date is the date of my last drink, in case that reference point is useful for you.

If a person has alcoholism, this is where the mental obsession starts. It is not even in words, really. Just the keen sense at the back(large part of the back LOL) of the mind that tells an alcoholic that the 'one' worked out fine, so another will be totally ok, you just proved it...and that is the start of the snowball. You have "proved" you can control it. This happens automatically in a person with alcoholism...none of us do it on purpose.

A vague physical craving may have also been triggered; this craving doesn't occur in normal drinkers.

Combine the craving and the thinking, and it's a good recipe for relapse...they are also symptoms of the illness.

Just FYI

Catty1

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I understand exactly what you mean and appreciate the words. As always you've given me food for thought - thank you

My problem was really with binge drinking that was getting way out of control and becoming the "norm". I was drinking every day and in large amounts at weekends - this has changed as I have come to enjoy waking up feeling well and not sitting on the couch every evening thinking "must have a drink" then "must have another drink". For the first time in a very long time I am actually looking forward to Monday morning because I don't have that tired, washed out, death warmed up feeling.

[Catty1]

Cool. Like I say, Denise, maybe you don't have alcoholism. I am just pointing out what often happens with alcoholics in certain situations. If it saves someone from 'riding the dump truck all the way to the dump', then it is worth it.

Alcoholism is a cunning and baffling illness; it cn sneak up. I was bored with drinking at the end of my drinking career, it did nothing for me anymore...then I would somehow find myself drinking again! I thought I could quit permanently out of sheer apathy! lol

But no, it had me hooked.

Keep posting - lots of caring folks are here for you.

hugs
Catty1

[carole]

Denise you don't have to do this alone, may I ask why you have chosen not to seek counselling or at least an expert opinion? how can you know if you are an alcoholic or not if you don't, catty1 has pointed out some very good points,my ex only drank two bottles of beer a week, would you consider him an alcoholic, i think not, but he was, it depends on how it effects your life, your job, your family, just to mention a few things.

If you are an alcoholic you cannot just have one little drink, that is why you need IMO to seek expert help,please just understand i speak from experience and my pure concern for you only, not to be judgemental or anything, and i still think you are doing fantastic,but that scares me a little,because if you indeed have alcoholism, it is not something that can be beat in a week or so, i just want the best for you and hope you can achieve sobriety in your life.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Please rest assured I have every intention of going to an AA meeting in the very near future. I have got details of all the local groups.

I suppose the main reason I am doing this on my own at the moment is down to sheer stubborness! Once I have made up my mind to do something (stop smoking, lose weight, exercise more) I do it. The biggest issue with my drinking was to acknowledge that it was getting out of control and I had to do something about it...to me that was the hardest part, admitting to myself that I had a problem.

As for your ex, I would consider him an alcoholic if he had to have those two beers every week no matter what - he relied on them and I guess they would be a focal point for his week.

I do understand and appreciate your concerns

[Catty1]

Hugs, Denise!

Would like to know what you think of the meetings...it's usually suggested that a person check out several different ones, as each can have its own 'personality'. This is for you, so find one where you feel comfortable.


Yes, we can be stubborn...someone once defined an alcoholic as "an egomaniac with an inferiority complex" lol.

And from the Big Book - "Defiance is the outstanding characteristic of many alcoholics."

Just being hoomins!

hugs again
Catty1

[Cataholic]

I am looking for clarity, not critcism , but, I cannot understand how someone that has two beers a week (as Carole mentioned above) is an alcoholic. If it is, in fact, the way the drink affects your job, your life, your relationships, how does two beers a week do anything at all? Unless you are drinking them first thing Monday morning, and they make you late for work???

I am not trying to be funny. And, I do drink, so, am I defensive? I don't know. But, sometimes, it can appear that anyone that is an alcoholic tends to think most everyone is an alcoholic. Please, I am not saying anyone is, or isn't, and if one is, I do think it is a disease. There is a long, personal account of this in my life- my ex was an recover(ing)(ed) alcoholic, probably sober 18-20 years? And, he decided to drink one day. As far as I know, he still drinks 'socially' without any of the problems he had in his youth. I say as far as I know as I don't maintain contact with him any longer, for reasons not related to drink!

[RedHedd]

I am looking for clarity, not critcism , but, I cannot understand how someone that has two beers a week (as Carole mentioned above) is an alcoholic. If it is, in fact, the way the drink affects your job, your life, your relationships, how does two beers a week do anything at all? Unless you are drinking them first thing Monday morning, and they make you late for work???

I am not trying to be funny. And, I do drink, so, am I defensive? I don't know. But, sometimes, it can appear that anyone that is an alcoholic tends to think most everyone is an alcoholic. Please, I am not saying anyone is, or isn't, and if one is, I do think it is a disease. There is a long, personal account of this in my life- my ex was an recover(ing)(ed) alcoholic, probably sober 18-20 years? And, he decided to drink one day. As far as I know, he still drinks 'socially' without any of the problems he had in his youth. I say as far as I know as I don't maintain contact with him any longer, for reasons not related to drink!

It's not how much one drinks that is a determining factor, it's what happens when one drinks, regardless of how much or how little, how often or not. For an alcoholic like myself, one drink is too many, and 1,000 never enough.

[Cataholic]

RH- thanks for your response. I have heard the 'one drink too many...'. BUT, that still leaves me questioning the two beers a week. I can drink two beers, and it hasn't any effect on me at all. So, I still struggle with the two beers a week= havoc, or mini havoc in one's life.

[Catty1]

Well, I heard the same thing about a guy who had six beers every Friday, and got help for that.

I think it is kind of like my being BORED with drinking at the end of my drinking career...I went for periods without drinking, and thought I could leave it alone out of sheer apathy. But I didn't - I drank without wanting to, with sad results.

What made sense to me was the suggestion "If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if, when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic." That was me. That's from the Big Book...and note it says "probably". It also describes four kinds of drinkers, only one of which is the alcoholic drinker.

So - if someone decides to quit the only-two-beers-a-week and CAN'T, even when they want to...I guess they decide that it is a problem for them.

That's why only the person themselves can decide if they are alcoholic, or if alcohol is a problem for them. It's a self-diagnosis - yes, a professional can do that too, but only the person themselves can decide to agree and take action.

Clear like mud? Hope that helps.

Catty1

[Cataholic]

Catty1- that did clear things up for me. And, I like the insertion of the word 'probably', too. I guess with the way I am, with control and order, it is 'scary' to me to give up power, and admit I am powerless when it comes to anything- be it drink, food, whatever.