Wise Words To Live By...

[lbaker]

Try walking a mile in someone's shoes before you criticize them. Then when you do you will be a mile away and wearing their shoes

[Tonya]

When everyone is whistling at school, check to see if your skirt is stuck in your backpack.

The middle of my senior year, I transferred from a school of about 300 to a new school that had 3,000 students. I was really upset about it because I thought I'd never make friends in such a large school. Well, of course, I wore my best outfit to school. These black knee high boots, this short black skirt, and silver shirt. I got my schedule from the office and walked all the way across campus to my first class. The whole time, I was hearing hoots and whistles. In my head I was thinking "Damn, I must be looking good." I was late to class, so everyone was seated. I walked up to the front of the class, handed the teacher my schedule and walked to my seat. Still, more hoots and hollers. I was feeling hotter then ever by then. Then this guy, John who was seated next to me, leans over and goes, "Hey, pull your skirt out of your backpack." I was humiliated. The good part is that I couldn't have gotten known any quicker at such a big school. I made friends quick. By the way, that was in 1995, and John is still one of my bestest friends.

Don't ever laugh hysterically at your work partner for falling chest deep in the mud. You'll fall into the same hole the next day.

I work for the phone company, and my partner is this guy about 50 years old. Well, construction sites can get pretty muddy. We were walking up to a telephone pole, and the ground simply looked damp. Tony stepped on the mud and literally sunk up to above his waist in mud. I fell on the ground laughing hysterically. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even find the strength to help him out. He was so muddy he had to go home and change. The next day, we had to go back to test the phonelines we'd built. Tony and I always take turns climbing poles, so it was my turn. Tony kind of hung back and didn't say anything. I stepped in the same darn mud, totally forgetting and sunk to my thighs. Luckily it'd dried up a bit, so I didn't sink as deep. Tony wasn't as mean, he helped me out alot quicker then I helped him. hehe. My work boots are $300 boots, I actually lost one! We searched and searched and couldn't find it.

If the front desk calls and asks you to close the door in a Cancun hotel, don't walk naked to the door to see if it's open. They may be referring to your room door, not the building door. And there might be five employees standing there trying to close your door since you told them it wasn't your responsibility. (Damn Corona's!)

In Cancun, my husband and I came back to the hotel really drunk. Our hotel room was in a separate building from the front lobby building. Mike was in the shower and I was undressing to take a shower when the phone rang. It was the front desk. In broken English, they asked me to close the door. I was like "What door, the building door, or the hotel room door?" I went in circles with them because of the language barrier. I finally decided that they were talking about the building door downstairs, so I go "Look, I'm not dressed, it's not my responsibility, you guys close the door." and I hung up. Mike's all "Who was that?" I'm all "Oh, just the front desk, I guess the door downstairs is open." There was kind of a hallway to our room door, so I couldn't see it. I walk over there to make sure it is locked, and there are 5 employees standing there trying to close my door. I am totally naked. The next day, we get a knock on the door. I look through the peephole and it's 5 more employees standing there snickering. I open the door and with a straight face, they are all "You air conditioner is broken, we need to look at it." I am like "No it isn't" They are all "Yes it is" So I let them in, they saw Mike and go "No, it's ok!" and left.

Always make sure your voice chat is turned off before you start talking smack about your cousin's kid and her parenting abilities.

This one speaks for itself. My cousin has bratty kids. I was chatting with the kids and cousin on msn chat. My mom calls. I tell my mom who I am chatting with. My mom hasn't seen them in years, so she asks how they are doing. I go on and on about how horrible they are and how my cousin never disciplines them. The whole time they heard me!

[Andie]

Originally posted by slick
Interesting fashions but did not see any undergarments....ouch....

HMMMMMMMM... a duct tape thong? And I thought camo was the only way to turn on a redneck! LOL

[ChloeLove]

Originally posted by Tonya
When everyone is whistling at school, check to see if your skirt is stuck in your backpack.

The middle of my senior year, I transferred from a school of about 300 to a new school that had 3,000 students. I was really upset about it because I thought I'd never make friends in such a large school. Well, of course, I wore my best outfit to school. These black knee high boots, this short black skirt, and silver shirt. I got my schedule from the office and walked all the way across campus to my first class. The whole time, I was hearing hoots and whistles. In my head I was thinking "Damn, I must be looking good." I was late to class, so everyone was seated. I walked up to the front of the class, handed the teacher my schedule and walked to my seat. Still, more hoots and hollers. I was feeling hotter then ever by then. Then this guy, John who was seated next to me, leans over and goes, "Hey, pull your skirt out of your backpack." I was humiliated. The good part is that I couldn't have gotten known any quicker at such a big school. I made friends quick. By the way, that was in 1995, and John is still one of my bestest friends.

Don't ever laugh hysterically at your work partner for falling chest deep in the mud. You'll fall into the same hole the next day.

I work for the phone company, and my partner is this guy about 50 years old. Well, construction sites can get pretty muddy. We were walking up to a telephone pole, and the ground simply looked damp. Tony stepped on the mud and literally sunk up to above his waist in mud. I fell on the ground laughing hysterically. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even find the strength to help him out. He was so muddy he had to go home and change. The next day, we had to go back to test the phonelines we'd built. Tony and I always take turns climbing poles, so it was my turn. Tony kind of hung back and didn't say anything. I stepped in the same darn mud, totally forgetting and sunk to my thighs. Luckily it'd dried up a bit, so I didn't sink as deep. Tony wasn't as mean, he helped me out alot quicker then I helped him. hehe. My work boots are $300 boots, I actually lost one! We searched and searched and couldn't find it.

If the front desk calls and asks you to close the door in a Cancun hotel, don't walk naked to the door to see if it's open. They may be referring to your room door, not the building door. And there might be five employees standing there trying to close your door since you told them it wasn't your responsibility. (Damn Corona's!)

In Cancun, my husband and I came back to the hotel really drunk. Our hotel room was in a separate building from the front lobby building. Mike was in the shower and I was undressing to take a shower when the phone rang. It was the front desk. In broken English, they asked me to close the door. I was like "What door, the building door, or the hotel room door?" I went in circles with them because of the language barrier. I finally decided that they were talking about the building door downstairs, so I go "Look, I'm not dressed, it's not my responsibility, you guys close the door." and I hung up. Mike's all "Who was that?" I'm all "Oh, just the front desk, I guess the door downstairs is open." There was kind of a hallway to our room door, so I couldn't see it. I walk over there to make sure it is locked, and there are 5 employees standing there trying to close my door. I am totally naked. The next day, we get a knock on the door. I look through the peephole and it's 5 more employees standing there snickering. I open the door and with a straight face, they are all "You air conditioner is broken, we need to look at it." I am like "No it isn't" They are all "Yes it is" So I let them in, they saw Mike and go "No, it's ok!" and left.

Always make sure your voice chat is turned off before you start talking smack about your cousin's kid and her parenting abilities.

This one speaks for itself. My cousin has bratty kids. I was chatting with the kids and cousin on msn chat. My mom calls. I tell my mom who I am chatting with. My mom hasn't seen them in years, so she asks how they are doing. I go on and on about how horrible they are and how my cousin never disciplines them. The whole time they heard me!

ROFLMAO! Goodness, these are too funny!

[apcrs5122]

LMAO Tonya!!
Ok here's some I thought of (most from experience)


Things CAN and WILL explode in the microwave.

Don't try to get the cat to ride on the dog's back; you will have one very scratched up dog and one pi$$ed cat.

Don't try to "dance in the rain" on a plastic picnic table, it will break.

When someone uses the expresion "grab the bull by the horns" they don't mean it literally.