Devastated! :o(((((((

**carole** · 10-15-2003, 05:45 PM

OMG Kim I was also devastated to hear of little Autumn going to RB, I was so in love with her too, I showed all her pics to everyone, she was so beautiful, I cant believe this, this is so awful, I am crying with you too Kim, please when you feel up to it, let us know what happened, this is such a shock.

HUGS TO YOU KIM.

**captain** · 10-15-2003, 05:57 PM

Kim

{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}] across the miles. You do soooo much ..... at least Autumn's time, even though short, was filled with LOVE.

**Steffi N** · 10-15-2003, 06:43 PM

Kim, I'm so sorry {{HUGS}}
Rest in peace, dear little Autumn.
She was such a darling kitten.
Please let Tucker and your other kitties comfort you.

**Felicia's Mom** · 10-15-2003, 07:44 PM

I am so sorry for you.

**Tubby & Peanut's Mom** · 10-15-2003, 08:13 PM

I am so sorry to hear about sweet little Autumn.

Unfortunately for us, she must have been badly needed at RB.

She was such precious little girl and I can only imagine your grief right now. It's amazing how fast we fall totally in love with these sweet kitties.

Kim, take time to grieve for the two precious babies you've lost, but please don't give up. There are soooo many that wouldn't have made it without you, and I'm sure there are many, many more that need you.

Warm healing {{{hugs}}} to you. I'm so, so sorry.

RIP sweet Autumn.

**luckies4me** · 10-15-2003, 08:16 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. She looked so healthy and was a very beautiful kitten.

**auggie** · 10-15-2003, 08:32 PM

Kim, I'm so very sorry.
She was such a precious little doll baby.
I fell in love with her when you first posted her picture.
My RB Tazzy will be waiting for her.
Hugs

**krazyaboutkatz** · 10-15-2003, 10:34 PM

Kim, I'm so sorry to hear about Autumn's passing.

She was such a sweetheart. You're in my thoughts and prayers. RIP baby Autumn. Please take care. {{{{HUGS}}}}

**catcrazylady** · 10-15-2003, 11:22 PM

I know I am fairly new here but I saw the pictures when you introduced little adorable Autumn! I know from just the short amount of time that I have been here that everyone understands your pain. It's such a sad time. I'm so sorry for you, but I know Autumn is in a wonderful place. Never give up because these lost furry babies need all the help they can get from loving and kind people like you. May God send you peace.

**Kater** · 10-15-2003, 11:42 PM

Kim ~
I'm so sorry about darling Autumn.
Now she is happily playing at the Rainbow Bridge.
(((((BIG HUGS)))))
Please don't blame yourself, sometimes things just happen.

**rg_girlca** · 10-15-2003, 11:56 PM

Kim, words cannot express how deeply sorry I am over the loss of precious little Autumn. My heart goes out to you.

((((((HUGS)))))

Rest in Peace dear sweet Autumn.

**kimlovescats** · 10-16-2003, 01:12 AM

Thanks so much for the kind and loving words. I will now explain the course of events. Autumn seemed to be fine one day, and was dying the next. The only "sign" I had that anything might have been wrong, is that she was sleeping more .... but she still was eating and drinking and would follow me through the house. However, I told my husband to keep an eye on her .... as I am now working full-time on second shift. When I got home that night (last night) my hubby was sleeping on the couch with Autumn wrapped in a towel. I knew right then it was bad, because he usually is in bed before I get home at midnight. Anyway, she was dying right then .... only taking breaths every minute or two ...... and getting cold. (This is hard to write

)
Anway, she was gone within a few hours. Of course, I tried in vain to force fluids, broth, nutri-cal ... anything I could think of on her, but it was clearly too late.

I know many of you are thinking .... "why didn't you go to an emergency vet"..... well, to be quite honest, we do not have the money right now, or the available credit ....... and our emergency vet charges $75.00 up front just for entering the clinic. Yes, I have "beat myself up" over this, but I really do know in my heart, that there wouldn't have been anything a vet could have done for her at that point.

I operate on "donation only" ...... and place so few of the cats / kittens I take in, that I am always running "in the red"..... this is why my credit cards are all maxed out and now even overdue!

I am not looking for pity, I would do it again in a heartbeat .... if my credit companies would raise my limit

but I know that I have to quit taking in more than I can financially support. The thing that really messed me up right now is that my husband's payroll was changed from weekly to monthly.... so we won't get a paycheck until the 30th of this month. Also, my new job won't pay until then as well. If this had all happened in about 2 weeks, things would have been handled much differently .... but I still have to believe that all the money in the world wouldn't have made a difference in Autumn's outcome. I just have to believe this, or else I could never forgive myself.

**captain** · 10-16-2003, 01:18 AM

Quoted by kimlovecats
I still have to believe that all the money in the world wouldn't have made a difference in Autumn's outcome. I just have to believe this, or else I could never forgive myself. ...

.... Oh Kim, I believe in my heart that Autumn would have moved onto the Rainbow Bridge ...... even if this had occurred 2 weeks from now. Unfortunately, when it is time, it is time .....

You are absolutely not to blame ...... you took her in, cared for her, and I believe if she had appeared to be in such a bad way, you would never, ever have hesitated ....... as you said, she was sleeping more .... but still eating and following you .....

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

**popcornbird** · 10-16-2003, 01:25 AM

Originally posted by kimlovescats
If this had all happened in about 2 weeks, things would have been handled much differently .... but I still have to believe that all the money in the world wouldn't have made a difference in Autumn's outcome. I just have to believe this, or else I could never forgive myself.

You know, God had set this time for Autumn to leave your loving arms and go to His. No matter what you did, no matter how much money you could have spent, Autumn's time was fixed, and God would've taken her nonetheless. Every living thing in this world has a fixed time to stay and a fixed time to depart, and nothing can change that. Its just that WE human beings don't know when that fixed time is, until it passes. We don't know when the time for a loved one to leave is, and that's why its so very hard on us to accept it.

It was Autumn's time and there is absolutely no blame on you, whatsoever. Autumn only had a short life in this world, and that is because it was meant to be. Even if you spent a million dollars at the vets, if it was still her time, she would still have gone. There's no blame on you, so PLEASE don't feel guilty for ANYTHING. Maybe that's why her name was Autumn........because autumn was to be the last season she would ever see.

I'm sure Autumn will be telling God how much you loved and cared for her in this world, wherever she is now.

{{{hugs}}}

**Ally Cat's Mommy** · 10-16-2003, 05:57 AM

Kim, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know this is very hard for you. Autumn will be waiting at the RB, and at least she was blessed with the love of one of the most caring people I know (YOU), in her short life.

It was her time to go, but whilst she was here, you made such a difference in her life, and I hope you can gain strength from that.

(((HUGS))))