A question about marriage....

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by Vio&Juni

Frankly, I would prefer not to marry, but I still admire those who do that and don't lose love and respect for each other.

Ditto.

[Barbara]

Originally posted by Vio&Juni


Frankly, I would prefer not to marry, but I still admire those who do that and don't lose love and respect for each other.

When I married the second time we had been living together for 17 years and I was so scared it couldn't work out when we would marry. Now we are married for about 7 years

[pitc9]

My husband and I were together for 6 years, we got engaged, bought a house and lived together for almost 3 years before getting married. (we got married Oct 13, 2001) And I learned more about him in the three years we lived together than I did the 6 years before that when we both still lived at home with our parents.

So my answer is Yes, I think you should live together before you get married because you never REALLY know a person until you live with them!!

[wolf_Q]

I vote no. That's just my personal opinion, that doesn't mean I think bad of anyone who lives together before they get married. It's just not something I would do.

[Airedalekisses]

I was going to get married and my fiance came to stay with me for three weeks-Oh did I ever find out a lot-needless to say I called off the engagement! I know 3 weeks isn't a long time but 24 hours a day for 21 days you get to see all the sides of the person. Sometimes love is blind-so I say, live with him before you marry him and really get to know him-as they say warts and all!! Good luck!!

[2kitties]

I wouldn't marry anyone without shacking up first. But that's what is best for me. What is best for you could be completely different.
Chris and I dated long distance- me in NC and him in Missouri- for 2 years. We wanted to be together, but it seemed stupid to say "okay, we've been spending one weekend a month together for two years so let's get married." That seemed naive. But, I'm not one of those "gotta get married girls". The idea of marriage never entered my mind at your age.

It's all hard work. I say give yourselves every single advantage possible- whatever those are for you.

Good luck and congratulations.

[Rachel]

Originally posted by bnormal


However, my stock answer would be, "no". Do not live together before getting married. I think that part of the "fun" of newlyweds would be the "discovery" process of really getting to know each other on a new level. Doesn't the honeymoon lose a bit of its' luster if you pretty much know each other so well?

That pretty much sums up my opinion as well.

[carole]

I have just celebrated 12 years of marriage to my present husband on August the 4th, we lived together only a few months before we married, and to be honest our first year was the hardest, we were both older 34, and set in our way's, but as each year rolled on we were still getting to know one another, even now there are always new things to learn about one another.

I don't think living together takes the excitement out of it completely, and well for me personally I would rather know a little about that person's good and bad habits before I tied the knot.

Just speaking from personal experience here, but let's face it there are no guarantees with marriage either way.

This is my second go at it ,so I wanted to get it right this time.

[kingrattus]

Rob & I did long distance for 2 1/2 years, but we talked to eachother everynight on the phone & chatted on the net (thats how we met), we also had webcams so we could sends pics of ourselves to the other everyday. It was very hard not seeing him. Then he moved back to ottawa & 1/2 a year later I moved into his parents place (so I could save $ on school). Its now been 2 years since I've been living at his parents place. We have our own rooms because babies r only made at bedtime

Rob & I still love eachother very much & we never fight, the one thing we have learned is that we both need our own space sometimes & we both except that. We've been enggaged for almost 4 years & we're planning on getting married as soon as we get the money to have one. We're in no big hurry, it'll happen when it happeneds.

[Christiansmommy]

I voted no. My husband and I dated for 4 years before we got married and didnt live together until after we got married.

You can call me old fashion (even though i am only 26...i am sure i am in the minority on this one)...but i think you should wait to move in together and to just plain wait for everything else that goes along with it (if you know what i mean)!!

I feel very strongly on this one...why rush anything!! I feel your marrige will be so much more fulfilling if you just wait. The excitement of sharing a life with someone is such an awesome thing and i feel marrige should come first before anything. If you feel that you think you need to get to know someone better before marrying them...then date them longer...but you dont need to move in with them...just my honest opinion.

I am with Logan, i don't condemn anyone for living together...it is just not something that i would ever do...

I would feel like i was cheating myself out of the awesomeness (is that a word?) of one of the many perks of marriage (waiting)...and experiencing all of the new things together as a married couple...I am just so glad that i didnt cheat myself out of that....but that is JUST ME!

[purplecat]

my boyfriend and i moved to a totally new city because he got a wonderful new job. we had never lived together and i was scared to death. he proposed the night we moved in and i couldn't have been more happy. we've lived together for exactly one month, and it's been a challenge. you think you know somebody ha ha! but, through the challenge of a new city, new jobs, making friends, being broke (no fun!) i know in my heart of hearts that i love him and i belong with him. i believe that ANY relationship is work and if you love each other, it will be a success. oh, and if your pets love him, then you've already made a good choice! good luck!