My Friend Killed Herself

[sandragonfly]

I'm back home, been wicked sick. three awful, lousy days. boiling hot, vaporing heat through goosebumps/chills and crawling in my own pukes, no strengths at all. five doctors who saw and checked me throughoutly couldn't find why - at first they thought I was infected with bacterial meningitis because I was third student admitting with exactly same symptoms that day.. but I am not. I had to lave there today with back/chest pains to complete my last final exam this afternoon and it was one hellious presentation...ugh. I think I did at least good. hospital coverages also suck, please know I was able to get your messages through notifications, (((thank you all))).

I try to nott blame myself, I keep on thinking what if I could have done, this and that, etc. I mean, a couple calls a year isn't just enough. she tried to killed herself last time at age 29 and I felt there could be something I could do, to cheer her up, remind her our and many other friendships of hers. I don't believe I'm so blinded and so occupied.

there was a service for her yesterday, very disappointed I couldn't be there. my friend who went there told me this, the oldest child of the deceased mother - who will be 12 next month - stood up and spoke, "I know it's a sad day, but really it's a happy day because my mom's not sick anymore and not in pain anymore. My mom was the best mom she could be and I loved my mom..."

god bless this child. I could see the mother lives on in this child. it was quite a hopeful feeling for everyone.

[sandragonfly]

nevermind my post. I don't feel like keep truckin'... I seem can't say anthing right. life has been so depressing, unbearable.. I can't take it anymore.

[Reachoutrescue]

nevermind my post. I don't feel like keep truckin'... I seem can't say anthing right. life has been so depressing, unbearable.. I can't take it anymore.

Please keep in mind that things will get better. I know times are very tough right now, but you must go on. You can not change the past or what other people have done, all you can do is control your own actions and life. Please try to feel better and remember we all care about you and wish you well. Chin up...it will be okay. If not now, one day it will.

[dukedogsmom]

Her daughter that spoke sounds like a wonderful girl. I'm glad she's taking it as good as can be expected. There will be hard days ahead for all of you. You must be strong for her family, you know? You can all support each other and later, hopefully remember some happy times with her. I know all this is just words. Unless we experience something like that ourselves, we truly cannot know how you feel. However, we can sympathize with you. It will get better but it will take some time. Just take it one day at a time, ok?