Should I do something??

[Alysser]

Thanks! I am going to the mall today and she'll be there. But agian I'll just avoid her.

[Jessika]

Ack, i know how that feels, i have enough idiots at my school to have to live with. Ignoring her is good to a point, but often this can backfire, as she will probably just try to annoy you more to get you to react. She sounds like a real b****! Try to think of a way to insult her, this often works for me, but people know i'm usually placid and only snap when i'm really annoyed, so it doesn't work for everyone. Do you know why she is calling you these names, or is she just one of those spiteful types?

Insulting her to get back at her will only make the situation worse, definitely not better

[carole]

I don't really know the whole story here as I must have missed your earlier post, but from what you are saying this girl does have some problems and maybe does really have a horrible life, and being like this to you makes her feel better, a type of bullying really isn't it? is there anyway you could turn this around and actually be-friend her, i remember when i was around your age, many moons ago, when i started high school my girlfriend and I had these two girls who were a year younger than us, who just did not like the way we had looked at them or something stupid like that, whenever we saw each other we would glare and whisper and say things, we did it to because they did it to us, but you know in the end we became friends, not great friends, but ended up smiling at one another.

If that is not even an option just keep up with the ignoring and see if she gives up , when she does not get the attention she is seeking from you, she probably will just do that give up, here's hoping and good luck.

[MariaM]

My mom lives by the phrase "Kill them with kindness". She told me that she had a really mean coworker one time, but she was always so nice to him and he just couldn't stand it. I think it really works good, I try that with anyone that annoys me. If I were to be mean to someone, and they completley ignored it and were just plain nice to me, I would most likely not bother them anymore. So I would try that first.

[Alysser]

I never thought of that! Thanks for the good idea

[BC_MoM]

You know,...

Here's my two cents after being severely bullied for 3 years, and eventually being ordered by cops to move to a new school division for fear something bad would happen.

Alyssa, you're right. You CAN'T ignore them. So many people told me that when the bullying start. "Ignore them and they'll realize they're not aggravating you". NO ONE understood that you can't ignore them. They're like a parrot glued to your shoulder. Even some kids who were bullied said to ignore them, when them themselves couldn't ignore them. Some advice.

Best thing is to always be with a friend if you can. That way you're not alone, and easier to target. I don't know about you, but my friends were afraid of the bully, too, so they never stuck up for me.

I never tried this.. but when she's says something, laugh at her.. laugh really loud. Or, partionize her.

The girl: "You're a loser."
You: "You know, you're right. You know me really well. You're right. I AM a loser. I just never saw it until now!!!"

But if this gets really serious, Alyssa, and nothing is working.. throw a punch at her. *waits to be attacked from PT members for that one*

I'm not kidding. If you throw a good one at her and hit her, she'll be afraid of you for a while.

I never tried that either, though, but what I've heard from my aunt's and uncle's who were bullied because of their Irish accents when they came here, it worked for them. And the bullies never bugged them again.

I never tried a lot of stuff because the bullies destroyed my self-esteem, and self-confidence. And I still don't have it back today; 4 years later.

Just don't let it get as far as it got for me, Alyssa... I'd hate to see anyone in the same state as me. <33

[CagneyDog]

But if this gets really serious, Alyssa, and nothing is working.. throw a punch at her. *waits to be attacked from PT members for that one*

I'm sorry but that would be the WORST thing to ever do. Maybe she would be scared off but most likely she'll get someone else involved then. Her friends will probably all gang up on you. She coud also charge you....

[BC_MoM]

I'm sorry but that would be the WORST thing to ever do. Maybe she would be scared off but most likely she'll get someone else involved then. Her friends will probably all gang up on you. She coud also charge you....

Probably not the worst. Sorry. But that's coming from a victim's point of view.

[CagneyDog]

Probably not the worst. Sorry. But that's coming from a victim's point of view.

I realize that. I've also been a victim, and I remain to be a victim of bullying. I don't see how physically injuring someone will help anything.

[Miss Z]

I see BC Mom's point. I've not suffered from bad bullying, most teasing is just trying to annoy me and i shake it off and just tell them that they're idiots, and they usually just laugh, so it's not really on bad terms i suppose. But yes, if i was a victim of bad bullying, i definitely would hit them, after many threats of course. I wouldn't mess around ignoring the bully or telling tales to teachers, i'm a lancashire lass and i deal with things myself and don't beat around the bush. I'm surprised that the girl who's been annoying Alyssa actually stopped when she ignored her, i would have thought that she would try to annoy her more.

I also liked your response to 'you're a loser' BC MoM. Did that actually happen? Gawd, someone calling you a loser is so childish and petty, but that response is really mature and witty. I like it!

[BC_MoM]

Well, of course. Being called a loser was the first stage of bullying for me in my experience.

But it got worse. Much worse. If you want to know more, you can PM me. I'd rather not talk about it publicly.

CagneyDog, I still have to disagree that hitting would be the worst thing. I am guessing you never experienced as harsh bullying as I did, and never will. If you did, I'm sorry for you. But I can't believe a victim would disagree about throwing a punch at a bully. Setting aside that the bully may fight back if you don't hit hard enough.

[Vette]

I don't see how physically injuring someone will help anything.

Ditto....

never hurt anyone because of something as stupid as this. it could really 'land slide' on you in more ways then one. may make her hound your butt even more and get her 'buddies' in on it.

[Alysser]

Jess, I would never punch her. Don't get mad when I say this but believe me.
SHE IS A HUGE WIMP! I MEAN HUGE! She couldn't even talk to someone at the counter of a store without being nervous. Even with my parents she was shy and she knew them well. If I even threaten her(which I would never do) I would be in HUGE trouble. Some people even said someone got expelled at my school for threatening someone. If she ever touched me I probably would punch her back in self defense though. Thanks for caring so much, Jess. I am so sorry you had to go through that.

[CagneyDog]

CagneyDog, I still have to disagree that hitting would be the worst thing. I am guessing you never experienced as harsh bullying as I did, and never will. If you did, I'm sorry for you. But I can't believe a victim would disagree about throwing a punch at a bully. Setting aside that the bully may fight back if you don't hit hard enough.

Well that's a interesting assumption but I have experienced some very harsh bullying. I wasn't going to say it but I have punched people before, and I got suspended and things got a lot worse. It's coming from personal experience.

[I_luv_rusty]

I have a story, of what happened today with Alyssa, and I. Today at like 4:00ish, this girl's friend rang my doorbell asking for me to come out. (I hardly even know her) I'm really nt even her friend ethier. Anyways so when I got my bike out I saw the girl running with her other friend. So I was like whats the deal are you trying to piss me off, and shes like no, what are you talking about? I want to get you and Alyssa to come out. So we went down to alyssa's and Alyssa says she has to finish homework, and her mom won't let her come out unless its done. So I waited for awhile, then I start seeing this girl and her friend coming so i'm fine with it. Then they keep coming back and forth on bikes staring @ me! So I went home, and called Alyssa and said that this girl's friend rang my doorbell, I don't even know her, because I didn't want to tell alyssa whats going on in front of her. So I rode my bike back down their, alyssa was on her last few problems of math. So I was freaking out, because this girl and her friend keep riding by. Then the girl I was with, went to tell her brother something. And while she was gone, I was freaking out on my cellphone calling alyssa trying to get her to come outside. So alyssa came out, and then the girl and her friend saying "shes our friend!" (referring to the girl that rang my doorbell) So I was like no, and this girl was suppousedly mad @ them. so she started wrestling them, and then this girl (not the 1 that rang me bell, the one that this boards about) called me and Alyssa lesbians. And I was like your laying on top of a girl and your calling me that! Come on, then alyssa sister came out and made her come in. I rode off fast on my bike, and they were yelling behind me, YAY go away! Ya GO!! I felt like going back there smacking the shit out of them!