Any comments on Ann Lander's letter last Saturday?

[AmberLee]

Here is a link to the actual letter and response. It's possible I was unfair in my summary of the situation because it seemed unfair to the cat.

{{{Love you all}}}

[AmberLee]

P.S. Yes, Ann Landers and 'Dear Abby' are twin sisters and they both started their careers within a few months of each other. I understand there was some hard feelings at one time, but the situation is much better now, if not altogether perfect.

Dear Abby's daughter had been helping out earlier, and became a partner with her mother sometime this year.

I preferred Ann Landers for years, but recently I'm finding her advice lacking... Anyway...

[4 feline house]

I was going to do an online search to the letter because my take was completely different. I see Amberlee beat me to it. The issue was his cats are messy, and she does not want to put up with it. That's a difficult thing for some cat lovers to put up with, much less someone who does not even like cats (although she does not specifically say she doesn't).

That being said, they are not even married and are already in counseling (I've never understood that concept - if you can't get along, BREAK UP! What have you invested in dating that would compare to a marriage? But I digress!) so I agree with Amberlee that the cats are just a symptom of a deeper problem. And that being said, I think the deeper problem is that the boyfriend is a slob, and she doesn't want to put the blame on him because then she would be forced to confront some deeper issues - such as that they may not be compatible at all.

But, I still didn't like Ann's flip answer.

His answer will tell you everything you need to know.

I don't know, somehow that sounded to me like the guy is a 'baddie' should he choose his cats over the girlfriend.

[Logan]

Good assessments, ladies!! I didn't respond earlier because I felt I couldn't, having not read it. Now I have. The guy must be a slob......as bad of a housekeeper as I am, I am fastidious about keeping the litter box clean. She's grossed out by cats on the counter and the table, knowing that they have been scratching around in a dirty litter box. Can't say I blame her for that. My cats aren't allowed all over the counters and table.

BUT.....seems like she worded her question in a different way than I would have. I would have been asking "how can I get him to see and smell this house?". Or is this sign of the "real him"? "How can I help him to understand that these cats need training if I'm going to be able to live with them?" Anyway, she didn't look beyond the cats for a solution to the problem.....like retraining or offering to help him work with them. And I agree, Ann Landers was pretty flip in her response.

[toughCookie]

anyone that has ever had a cat , knows, you don't ALLOW a cat on the table or counter, they just do it, and unless u are going to keep squirting with with a water gun, or put sticky tape all over the counter, theres nothing else to do but pick it up and put in on the floor. I have to always clean my counters.
and if the cat is not using the box, it should be taken to the vet, something might be wrong with it.
for an adivce columist, she doesnt know that??

and-- has anyone seen those court shows on tv, the ones where the couple are fighting for custody of the pet? scary..if I was getting married I would have a pre-nupital that says I keep the cats!!

[AvaJoy]

Sounds to me like she is saying that if the guy can't give his cats a decent home (meaning "clean up your act, buddy") then he should find someone who will . . . doubt if it would be the girlfriend, since she signed her letter "cat hater" . . .

I've never had a cat that even attemped to jump up on counters . . . if this is a common behavior, maybe I have just been fortunate not to have encountered it . . .

Many, many years ago I visited an old friend I hadn't seen ages. She had gotten into showing/breeding (I forget what breed), and her once meticulous home had turned into CATVILLE . . . the books on her bookshelf had all their bindings shredded, and I remember seeing a cat curled up asleep on top of her coffee maker on the kitchen counter! She had girls tending to the multitude of litter boxes spread all around the perimeter of her dining room. I have no idea how many cats she had, but they were milling around everywhere. The bedrooms had become nurseries, and the basement housed the male stud cats each in a cage. This had to be 20 years ago, and I wonder what ever happened to her and all those cats . . . the counter thing brought back this memory . . . geez!

[yorkster]

Originally posted by Lachesis
What the heck??? My husband is way more messy then my cats LOL. Id have to get rid of him first

Yes!!! My hubby too! All my animals are neater than him.


tough cookie-
I think there would be a custody battle here too over our animals.

[tuxluvr]

I feel sorry for the cats - I'm not convinced the boyfriend is a good caretaker/pet owner.

Every cat I had wanted to be on the kitchen counter...except Ritz. I think she believes she can't jump that high. Ever since her spay surgery over a year ago, after which she attempted to jump up to her kitty lair, missed a bit and it fell almost on top of her, she no longer attempts to jump up any higher than a chair seat. I'm wondering if this will change, right now I consider myself fortunate.

[Ann]

After reading the original letter I must say it pissed me off quite a bit. Ann Landers made it out that if the cat owner doesn't get rid of his cats he doesn't love his girlfriend. That is utter BS. I love my boyfriend with all of my heart but I'd never give away any of my pets just because he thinks they are messy or something! That's so stupid...

I don't know why people write those online "experts".

[purrley]

My cats can go anywhere they want except outside. Countertops included. I buy disenfectant spray and spray the countertops before fixing a meal. The way I see it, the only way to keep furries off countertops is to stand there all day and all night and keep watch - quite impractical

[Former User]

Originally posted by purrley
is to stand there all day and all night and keep watch - quite impractical

Wow, what a mental picture I got out of that Definately not practical....

[tuxluvr]

Originally posted by purrley
My cats can go anywhere they want except outside. Countertops included. I ......stand there all day and all night and keep watch - quite impractical

Of course I don't REALLY know what Ritzy manages to do when I'm away

[Ila]

I think Ann messed up BIG TIME. I think a cat is about the cleanist animal you could have. They potty in a designated spot where a dog goes where ever they seem fit and you have to search and scoop it up.
http://www.photogra.com/index.cfm/a:31416

[AmberLee]

Originally posted by tuxluvr
Of course I don't REALLY know what Ritzy manages to do when I'm away ...

LOL! What a picture!!!

of course , my cat is allowed in the kitchen !!! ON the countertop !!! One corner of it is even specialy reserved for him !! That's where he sits quite often , on the outlook for "enamies" outside , or just keeping me company there !!!! dear dear Sydney !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!