Just had a bad argument with my parents because of Lily :(

[wolflady]

Kirsten, I'm sorry that you were put into this situation. I agree with everyone here that you did the right thing. I would never want someone treating my animals poorly in MY home. I also wouldn't behave that way at someone else's home. It's very rude of your step-father to harass your cat after being told not to.
I think writing a letter is a good idea. That way you can explain to them that you enjoy spending time with them and would like for them to continue to visit, but they need to respect you and your wishes when they are in your home. They need to be more adult about the situation IMO.
Do let us know how everything is going.
**hugs**

[RedHedd]

Kirsten, I'm with everyone else here - you did the right thing. You've told him before that you don't appreciate him mistreating your cats - I would have done the same thing you did, including beating myself up afterwards that I'd been too harsh.

Like everyone else has said, give it a day or two to cool off and then send a letter or talk to your mom if you're more comfortable doing that. Your home is your domain - your safe place; your cats are your kids. You and your fur kids have every right to expect to be treated with respect in your own home.

Now go give those two furry beauties some snuggles and kisses from the M's!

[catlady1945]

If people don't respect the household rules, then they are not welcome. How difficult is it to leave the cats alone? He is trying to get under your skin, then pretending he doesn't know why you are angry. Tell them you would be happy to meet them elsewhere to visit, but they cannot come to your home unless they are respectful.

[orangemm]

Kirsten, you have every right to be upset. It's not like he didn't know better!

I agree, writing a letter might be the best way to reach out. However, if he ever sets foot in your home again, I'd make sure the cats were locked away safely in another room.

I tend to be highly suspicious of anyone who enjoys tormenting an animal, no matter if it's even "in jest". It's not funny to the animal. Too bad your cat didn't give him a good swipe of the claws!

[Queen of Poop]

I too agree with everyone else here. He should have respected your request and left the cat alone. You were right to ask them to leave. You should do the letter thing and explain your position, and that you do love them very much but that such behavior will not be tolerated.

Hugs to you and your sweet babies.

[catnapper]

Oh Kisten, what a lousy thing for him to do. I would have reacted in the same manner. It is your home, and you have every right to expect they follow your rules - as they would expect of you in their home.

I am sure your mother will call you. Maybe not for a few days, but she won't stay silent towards you forever.

[kimlovescats]

Kirsten, I know you feel bad about hurting your parents, but they should equally feel bad about hurting your feelings and disrespecting your home and furry FAMILY members over and over again!!! Afterall, you have told them many times previously that this is not appreciated, and yet they still mock at you ... you did the right thing ... and they should understand that they were the ones out of line! I hope you and your mom can mend feelings soon, and just agree to meet elsewhere, on common grounds!

I know alot of what you feel, as my Dad has to sigh or grumble whenever one of my pets enters a room when he is over. I know he has asthma and is highly allergic, but I always put them all away and remove as much hair and dander as possible before he and my mom come over. It just makes me feel so upset that he has to make it obvious of his feelings in MY home. This is one main reason why I just don't have them over much anymore ... or anyone else for that matter, unless I know they are as pet crazy as we are!!!

(((HUGS)))
Kim

[NoahsMommy]

Originally posted by orangemm
Kirsten, you have every right to be upset. It's not like he didn't know better!

I agree, writing a letter might be the best way to reach out. However, if he ever sets foot in your home again, I'd make sure the cats were locked away safely in another room.

I tend to be highly suspicious of anyone who enjoys tormenting an animal, no matter if it's even "in jest". It's not funny to the animal. Too bad your cat didn't give him a good swipe of the claws!

Very well said. Those are two points I ment to mention in my post. (putting the girls away during future visits and to be wary of people that torment animals)

[iloverat]

I don't have any sage advice to give you as so many other PTer's have stepped up and said it all quite well. I just wanted you to know that I am sorry this happened. It is such a bad feeling when things are not right between family members. I hope in time that you and your mother will work everything out.

Too bad Reinhold did not get a swat or a chomp from darling Lily. I had a small dog, Rat, when my nieces were young. One of the girls was 2 yrs old when I and Rat were visiting them. My niece insisted on being rough with Rat, ignoring our admonitions to knock it off. Finally, my niece pulled Rat's tail while Rat was eating. That was that - Rat whirled around and bit my niece's finger. We explained that was why you treat animals carefully and with respect. Believe me, she learned her lesson then! Some people have to learn the hard way....and some never learn at all.

Take care - Bobbi (hugs to you, Lily and Luna)

[moosmom]

I just can't understand why it's so hard to leave my cats alone!

Kirsten,

The above quote says it all. Do NOT feel bad about venting. That's what we're here for.

I think you've been VERY tolerant of your stepfather. I wouldn't have been. You've told BOTH of them time and time again to abide by your wishes to leave Lily alone. It's your responsibility to protect Lily. Your stepfather is either REAL stupid or just plain doesn't care. He owes you AND Lily an apology. Until he does, you're better off without them visiting. Maybe you can agree on neutral grounds. But until your stepfather learns how to treat animals with respect, your place should be off limits.

Sorry you had to go through the hassle.

((((((hugs to you, Lily and Luna)))))))))

[kimlovescats]

Originally posted by iloverat
I had a small dog, Rat, when my nieces were young. One of the girls was 2 yrs old when I and Rat were visiting them. My niece insisted on being rough with Rat, ignoring our admonitions to knock it off. Finally, my niece pulled Rat's tail while Rat was eating. That was that - Rat whirled around and bit my niece's finger. We explained that was why you treat animals carefully and with respect. Believe me, she learned her lesson then! Some people have to learn the hard way....and some never learn at all.

Take care - Bobbi (hugs to you, Lily and Luna)

So that is where your username comes from. I have always wondered! Sounds like Rat was a very special love in your life!

[rkidsrcats]

The Tribe and Samson support you totally. Your home is your haven from the stresses of the world and you have put so much love and time into making that home a safe and wonderful place for Luna and Lily. And to have someone repeatedly come into your home and intentionally ignore you and hurt the ones you love is truly out of bounds. You have a right to tell him to leave.
The Tribe would have helped escort him to the door...

[gini]

I am starting to think that perhaps you should print all of these replies out - and hand them to your Mom and Stepdad - or mail them with your letter.

[kt_luvs_kitties]

Kirsten, everyone else has said it so well. I understand where you are coming from. Although my parents/husband/my moms side of the family all respect and love animals, I am by FAR the most animal crazy person of us all.
Sometimes, people just dont understand about our passion for animals. We truly love them, we adore them, we even look up to them in many ways. They are our babies, and should be treated with respect by anyone whom respects you. He might not think it is important, but you do, and that should be the main issue to him, your mother, or anyone else who loves you.
You did nothing wrong, honestly. If someone would have so much as touched my animals in a threatening way, or even in a playful (but scary to the animals) way, I would have kicked some butt.

Everyone who knows me knows that there are 3 things you just DONT mess with *Family including pets, friends, and money*
Dont be hard on yourself! Like everyone here said, We support you, understand you, and believe in you. *HUGS* Katie

Please give Lily a kiss for me

[kaoK'okung]

OMG!!!!!...Kirsten, you are 150% in the right for what you did and for the way you feel!!...(i'm not so sure i could have been as nice as you, considering how many times you repeated your request for their respect of your wishes)...i had a roomate once who picked up my Shy and threw her across the room, well needless to say i was in his face real quick and was literally held back by another roomate(i planned on planting my fist in his mouth)...anyways, his reply was that she is just a cat..."NO!!". i replied, "she is my family and if you hurt my family, i'm gonna hurt you"...well, he never came close to Shy or Zip again and is neither a friend or roomate any longer...hopefully, like my ex-friend, they will learn how much you love them and will protect them, but hopefully they will come around and realize, that he is in the wrong, and forgive you for rightly acting as you did...(sry for long reply, but this really burned me up...)...your mom will come around you'll see...