Don't Worry....

[My Peanuts]

Originally posted by K9soul
It is one thing to say how you honestly feel regarding the situation, but some of the emoticon use seems completely unnecessary and deliberately cruel. Please reconsider posting at all if it is just to post those.

I understand where you are coming from, but it is so hard to let something go that so many of us feel strongly about. Re-homing animals week after week and then getting more is something I don't take lightly. I would NEVER re-home Sylvia or Harley no matter what, with VERY limited exceptions. These poor pups don't know which way is up and it's because of people like Tina, who have good intentions. It's time for her to stop thinking about herself in these situations. These animals will never fill the void. Yes, it is exciting to get a new puppy, but that puppy will grow up and get old. If you are the type of person that loses interest, DON'T GET A DOG! Tina re -homed Jake, a small dog, a couple weeks ago. Now she adopted a larger mix. I think a larger dog would be harder to handle. It's just a shame and not far to these animals or her children. Not to mention the horrible example she is setting for them. Many people on here have told stories about the horrible way their parents or grandparents treated animals. They are here because they are breaking that chain. I’m afraid that this is a big step back in that family. I, for one, post because I'm trying to help her see how wrong this is.

With that said, I don’t think you are a bad person Tina. I do think you make very bad decisions. It is truly upsetting what you are doing with these animals.

[Desert Arabian]

Originally posted by K9soul
It is one thing to say how you honestly feel regarding the situation, but some of the emoticon use seems completely unnecessary and deliberately cruel. Please reconsider posting at all if it is just to post those.

No. There is no difference if it's an animated "good-bye" or an oral/written good-bye.

[K9soul]

A smiley face waving goodbye would definitely hurt and humiliate me more than someone just stating goodbye.

Believe me, I understand both sides to this, feel very acutely the emotions involved on both sides, and I see no place for flippant cruelty in it at all. It does nothing to help out either the people or the animals involved. All it does is further hurt someone and compound the problem.

Tina, you can contact me at any time if you need to talk or share what is going on, or if you have questions about my own experiences I'm more than willing to share with you. While my responses and opinions will be honest, they will also be understanding and nonjudgmental.

This has nothing to do with choosing sides, it is only a plea that if all you are going to do is post a one word response or an emoticon, please reconsider the necessity of it.

[carole]

Tina I seemed to have missed something here, but if what is being said that you went and adopted another dog after re-homing Jake I am FLABBERGASTED beyond belief.

Where I have empathy for your depression and some of the sad things that appeared to have happened to you, I cannot condone your behaviour where the animals are concerned.

It is your choice to leave PT, and I do wish you well, but seriously you do have a big problem, you were getting help with your counselling and I applauded you for that, you seemed to made a really good move in the right direction and were feeling positive about your life, that was good indeed to hear.

You know everyone has set-backs from time to time, you need to hang on in there Tina, it is of the utmost importance you get the help you need, you have two beautiful young girls who need you, it is time to be mature and grow up for their sake,with professional help with the depression you should beable to cope much better,but there is no medical cure for Immaturity, I am not saying this to be mean, but that you need to realise that is from what I can see a huge part of your problem.

You can continue to bury your head in the sand like the old ostrich, but it will not do you or your children any good.

I think everyone on PT has been extremely patient with you, and most have tried to offer support and kindness, but each time you seem to throw it back in our faces.

This post reeks of attention seeking behaviour IMO.

You just cannot come on PT, post about giving away animals all the time, and then getting new ones and expect everyone is going to take it with a grain of salt, and say good on you, What you are continuing to do is Irresponsible,and selfish.

I have found myself completely fustrated with you, and I have tried to be as helpful and caring and supportive as possible, but even I run out of patience.

However Tina I do only wish the best for you, everything I say here is out of concern and the welfare of your animals and children, I hope you can get it together for everyone's sake and live a happy and content life.

[tatsxxx11]

This is so upsetting to hear everyone arguing If anyone who has posted here truly believes that Tina is suffering from real depression, then you have to also know that when someone is seriously depressed, they do not respond emotionally in a rational manner nor act logically, and trying to "reason" with her through negavitity will get us and her, nowhere. She is not seeing things clearly right now, that's obvious, and it's not just a matter of "poor judgement" or acting irresponsibly. It's obvious to everyone that Tina needs help, something she says she is seeking, and in the meantime, all the negative comments in the world will not help to change her behavior. If we are truly concerned about her and the animals, then we have to be supportive in our efforts to help her to have some insight into her behavior. I understand why people feel frustrated and upset, but this is a person, a family member, who needs our help right now. Tina, forgive me for speaking about you as though you wer not "in the room." It is my great hope that you have supportive, caring friends and family members there in your "real life," a good counselor/therapist that will help you through this rough spot in your life. I know you love animals and have a lot of love to give. But maybe you could go back ard re-read your last thread about Jake and reconsider the reasons you beileved at that time, it was not the best time to add another pup to the fold. Honestly, if I were you, I'd wait until you got that nice, new house built, got all settled in and then took the leap! A lot less stress on the pupper (having to adjust to two new homes in a short time) and on you! And you could take this time, to concentrate on yourself, your counseling and spending time with the skin and furkids. Something to think about!

[micki76]

Sandra, there are few on this board that I respect as much as I respect you, but this is utterly out of control. This has been happening continuously since I joined PT. I noticed it a long, but let it go, until finally, I could let it go no more. I understand depression. My sister has been severely depressed and used drugs to “comfort� herself. At some point, you have to say no more. Tina is totally out of control with the pet issue, and has been for some time. It’s gotten to the point where I cry when I read her posts. I’m not an emotional person, so this is very unusual for me. I just keep thinking of what she’s doing to the pets and her kids, and what she’s showing them. (If something isn’t what you want it to be, don’t work to make it better, get rid of it and get a new one) Animals are not disposable.

I have empathy for someone, but there’s a point where my empathy is only hurting them. Like Valerie said, it’s called enabling. I did this for a long time with my sister, as did the rest of the family.

No, I’m not equating this with drug use, but it’s the same basic principle. She’s obviously looking for something to fill her void, as was my sister.

[carole]

Micki I am behind you 100 percent, I also have the highest respect and love for Sandra, and I know she has Tina's best interest at heart, as most of us do.

I also am not without compassion for Tina,but there comes a time when TOUGH LOVE for want of a better word just is necessary I think.

I hope we don't start bickering amongst ourselves, many of us including Micki have been there for Tina and have tryed to help her as much as possible, as the old saying goes "you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"

Depression is something many of us can relate to, myself included, having all the love and support in the world will help , but there comes a point in time we have to make the effort to help ourselves as well.

Tina chooses time and time again to start threads like this, or about giving away her pet, she knows it is going to upset people, so I ask her WHY?

Many of us will just have to agree to disagree I think in this situation.

[lbaker]

Tina, I wonder if you ever considered that when you see this beautiful, cute, fuzzy puppy or friendly dog - that maybe when YOU take it in, someone else in a more stable, consistant environment might have missed out on a GREAT dog. Instant gratification is an understandable emotion. Another emotion that has to be controlled. Especially when it comes to a life commitment. Your children need to know and understand that "life lesson", even if you have problems with it.

[K9soul]

I just want to add one more thing here to keep in mind, and this may not pertain to Tina at all.

Most of you are familiar that some people suffering depression will hurt themselves, by cutting or not eating or other things to feel/express their internal pain. Some people experiencing extreme emotional pain and low self-esteem will instead challenge or anger those around them, and when those people lash out, it is a form of hurting themselves. Some will say hurtful things to those they love and increase their self-hatred and sadness, or say things to anger others and further isolate themselves.

By no means am I claiming that Tina feels this way or is acting for these intents, but it is something to keep in mind whenever someone seems to make 'self-defeating' posts.

I do hope she can read and consider the posts with advice and insight, and ignore the petty ones meant only to hurt.

[CathyBogart]

Fabulous, buh bye!

[Kfamr]

I agree 100% with Micki.

I've tried to be as understanding as possible but like others have said it's just been too much.

It was a WEEK ago that she got rid of another dog.
A week or so ago when she decided that getting another dog wasn't the best decision to make.

I congratulated her and felt very happy with her that she made that decision. I was VERY happy. I thought Jake was going to be a large step for Tina...

But, tomorrow she plans to take on another?? I'm not sure what kind of response she planned to get from a majority of us, but it is not pleasing to see this going on.

I've lost count of how many times she's made threads like these.. "I'm leaving".."I don't know why people don't like me".."I can't believe you all..".. ect.. NUMEROUS times, and it seems like a monthly event.

I get sad everytime I go to the shelter, Then I go home and hug the three lives that I saved already.

[lbaker]

Kay, if I knew how to do "KISS KISS" icons I would. Much love you and my dearest SIMBA and Nala and silly little Kiara

[micki76]

Originally posted by lbaker
Kay, if I knew how to do "KISS KISS" icons I would. Much love you and my dearest SIMBA and Nala and silly little Kiara

How bout this one?

[carole]

Sandra the dear wise soul has put this more into perspective for me, not that I am backing down on what I said, but she has given me time to reflect.

No matter how hard we try, when a person is not thinking rationally, it just simply cannot get through, as she put it to me " when someone perceives that they are being assaulted,feel threatened,they shut down and don't hear what you are saying", maybe this is the case here, I really don't
know.

No matter what anyone of us say to Tina, in the long run she will do what she wants to in the end.

I Can also hear and feel everyone's fustration here, and empathise with it, most have tried with all their heart to help Tina, and be there for her, I hope deep down she can oneday see this.

For now I can only hope for Tina to get help and stick with it, and find the happiness that she also deserves.

[Samantha Puppy]

Well put, Kay.

I too have been understanding. To my credit - as hard as it was - I stayed out of Tina's previous train wrecks and as much as it is not in my nature, gave her the benefit of the doubt. Today, however, was the last straw.

It is beyond ridiculous. I understand depression, but I too believe that holding her hand time after time is only enabling her. I echo everything Micki76 said. It's beyond that point for me. I can no longer sympathize, or empathize, with her because her behavior is disgusting.

It breaks my heart to see animals in shelters that deserve to be in extra loving forever homes. I wish I could save them all too. But rather than put myself, my husband or my existing animals into a difficult situation, I give those shelters and rescues money instead. That is responsible. What Tina is doing is the epitome of irresponsibility.