Can someone explain...

[Tollers-n-Dobes]

I would never dream of doing something like that! I'm glad you caught her and that she's home safe now.

[Fox-Gal]

Ok I came back, feeling to open about what I typed before. But I'm going to leave it there for awhile, intill I see that you read it. Then I'm going to delete, if you don't mind.

I leave it there so you or you daughter can see that horrible things can happen to anyone. Hoping that maybe she will think about if even for a sec. before she tries to walk out that door again. One silly mistake can haunt her till the day she dies and will never be the same again.

Edit: Thank you for responing to me through PM so I could delete my story.

[lizzielou742]

I never "snuck out" - but I got out and did what I wanted to do any way I could. I'd lie about where I was going, I'd sneak into my house late, etc. etc. etc. (I'm 23 now). I lied, and I felt bad about it, but at the time, the most important part of my life was my social life. I was willing to lie to and deceive my parents if it meant I got to go to a party where the boy I liked was going to be, or whatever. I guess that's how it is in high school for some kids. Looking back on all that now, it was SO much fun, but I was SO lucky I didn't get in serious trouble. My parents were then and are still now very, very laid back and cool, but I definitely pushed it to the limit and beyond and got grounded several times.

I think if you really don't give in, and don't let her drive 'til she's 18, it will really hit her hard, that hey, mom's serious about this. For me, there would have honestly been no greater punishment - because you're basically taking away freedom that she's probably looked forward to for a loooong time. She probably thinks you'll give in to her and let her have her permit if she works hard at cleaning and begs and pleads, but stand your ground. And be prepared to fight. I know if I was her, that's what I would do - get really upset about it and fight with my parents over it when I realized they really weren't going to let me drive. Hopefully you don't have that problem.

Good luck - sorry if this rambling message didn't make any sense.

[popcornbird]

Oh wow...I would never even imagine doing something like that. The idea of 'sneaking out' whether its at night or day has never even hit my head. My parents ALWAYS know where I'm going, and can always contact me on my cell phone. I don't even go anywhere but school on my own. Okay, maybe I do go to my best friend's house, but she lives in the neighborhood and our neighborhood is a very safe one. Sometimes we go out together, for a walk or something, but that's the most I'll ever do. My mom's a close friend of her mom, and she can always contact me on my cell phone, or my friend on her's, or even my friend's mom if she ever worries. I'm always back within an hour though. I don't go anywhere alone but to school, my friend's house for a while, or shopping whenever my mom tells me to go and buy something she needs. Other than that, I'm a 'home-girl'. Gosh...just thinking of sneaking out at night scares me. I'd probably freak out in the 'darkness' and run back inside even before I got to the end of our driveway. There isn't anything in the world that would get me to 'sneak out' at night. There just isn't any purpose to get out at that time unless you have some secret bad things to do in mind.

I'm glad you 'caught' your daughter. Hopefully she'll learn a good lesson from this.

[tikeyas_mom]

then Grant said "there are three reasons kids slip out at night... One: the get high. TWO: to get drunk Three: to have sex'"

um i used to sneak out and it wasnt to do drugs, have sex or drink, it was usually to run up and down streets, swing on swings at the school with my friends, goto the mountain hill and lighting "camp" fires, we would run through ppls night sprinklers in our clothing and have fun.... it was all in good fun..

the worst thing you can do to a teen is accus them of doing bad things.

[catnapper]

Originally posted by tikeyas_mom
um i used to sneak out and it wasnt to do drugs, have sex or drink, it was usually to run up and down streets, swing on swings at the school with my friends, goto the mountain hill and lighting "camp" fires, we would run through ppls night sprinklers in our clothing and have fun.... it was all in good fun..

the worst thing you can do to a teen is accus them of doing bad things.

If they could do that in our area, then we'd be fine. The problem is they can't people are quick to call the cops when they see kids in their yards or on their block (too much gang acitivity) The dealers hang out near the parks and schools - even at that time of night. We have at times called the cops on kids out after 11:00. The cops are quick to respond because they take kerfew very serously here, and ANY kids under 18 out past 11:00 pay big fines.

The sad thing on all this is that she and her friend had permission to stay here and hang out here all night as a sleep over. They both swear all they were doing was hanging out. Why couldn't they do it here? From past experience with her, we are not quite believing her - she has hung out with some doozies of kids. If her brother or sister swore they were just hanging out, we'd believe them in the same situation, but not her. Its like when I was a kid. I had a 1:00 kerfew, but my brother had to be in by 11:00... he fought that HARD, but my parents always said they trusted me. If I said I was going to a late movie or midnight bowling, that is where I was. He could have been anywhere else.

A good parent knows which kid to trust and which ones to not trust. A good parent knows when to believe their kid and when not. Like we believed her about the Halloween incident where she ended up punching a guy. We don't believe her this time, and may not for a long time to come. She will have to earn our trust back. She knows that and thats why she worked so hard today. She knows to not even begin to ask about the driver's permit for at least a year. It won't happen.

[NoahsMommy]

I began reading this thread and was going to say that I never snuck out, but after further thought, what I did was pretty much sneaking out.

I lived with my mom, who is very controlling and strict as far as what people do. I had a friend who had parents that would let her do whatever just to get her off their backs. Every weekend, I'd spend the night over there and we'd go out until whenever we wanted, doing whatever we wanted. There are some things that I know the only reason bad things didn't happen were because of God. We were stupid. While we didn't do anything bad, bad things really could have happened.

I think having a mom that make known what is excepted of me helped me not be involved in anything like drugs or sex. I would be at parties and tended to be the one to watch out for my friends when they passed out or found a guy to hang out with.

Your punishment for your daughter is just. Just be sure it stays. My brother had the same mom, but could be good for two days and not be in trouble anymore. It was a mistake, to put it politely.