Would you be angry if your child chose/s a different belief?

[CathyBogart]

Well as an adamently childfree person this doesn't directly apply to me, but I can answer a firm "no". IF the circumstances should ever arise where I was the primary caretaker of any child (Goddess forbid) I would not try to bias them in any way. Everyone should be able to choose.

It upsets me that my parents had me baptised catholic as a baby. I had no choice in the matter, and with the knowledge I have now I would not choose it.

[carole]

PCB really does have it all together IMO, she intends to teach her children the faith and hope they will continue in it, but regardless she is a true christian because she will continue to love her children despite their personal choices, she is a very young wise old owl lol, and any children she has in the future will indeed be very lucky to have such a wonderful mother..

[popcornbird]

Originally posted by carole
PCB really does have it all together IMO, she intends to teach her children the faith and hope they will continue in it, but regardless she is a true christian because she will continue to love her children despite their personal choices, she is a very young wise old owl lol, and any children she has in the future will indeed be very lucky to have such a wonderful mother..

I'm not a Christian though. I'm am Muslim.

I would, honestly, be very very upset and disappointed if my kids left their faith. What I meant by my post is that every person has a mind of their own. You cannot force them, but as a parent, I would put right and wrong before them, and teach them my faith by showing them a very clear picture, and comparing between other faiths. Hopefully I will raise them in a way in which their faith will be embedded in their hearts, and they would never leave it. I *would* be upset if they left their faith. VERY upset. I would feel like an utmost failure, and I would worry about what would happen to them in the hereafter. Nonetheless, I couldn't vote, because angry really, isn't the word I would use. Disappointment, is what I would define as a better term.

[carole]

PCB sorry I am well aware you are a muslim, I mean't no offence, I was paying you a compliment girl, I donot have a faith, but to me a christian is anyone who believes in god and is kind, loving and caring and a law-abiding citizen, that is my belief. and from what I know of you, I consider you to be all of the above ok.

[IttyBittyKitty]

I would teach my child from a young age about the ubiquitous concept of "God" ... but as they got older, I will teach them about different religions and beliefs, and let them make the choice that fits them best.

[2kitties]

I pray my children will be happy. I'll do my best to teach them right from wrong and help them understand why their parents think the way they do. And hopefully, I'll have happy children who grow up to become happy adults. I hope to teach them love and tolerance for people different then themselves. And that's pretty much the best I can hope for!

[lat192004]

As long as it was not Satanic or something just to be contrary to what I believe. There is nothing as wild as a preacher's son, I have known a few. To force someting down a kids throat will always turn out bad. Usually a child will follow what the parents believe. That's usually what you do when you are a child, follow your parents example. How many children are mature enough to make that kind of decision?

[Dogz]

Originally posted by GoldenRetrLuver

Since I don't plan to have any kids in my life, I don't think I can answer this.

Ditto. My pets can decide on their own.

But for kids, IMO, they can decide for themselves. They are their own person. Hopefully I would raise them well enough to follow in my footprints, whatever that may be, but if they do not, no, I would not be mad. It is their own decision, and if they are old enough to make a decision like that, I cannot 'make' them change their mind.

[LoudLou]

Let me start by saying... I am sorry it's long.

I was raised a Jehovah's Witness. Growing up I had NO choice but to follow the beliefs of my parents. Exploring other religions or beliefs was totally out of the question. Even questioning the Jehovah’s Witness belief was punishable.

It took me years in therapy to learn that there is a difference in teaching children the morals and values that you, as a parent/guardian want to instill in them so that they might lead a happy, healthy life and forcing them to believe as you do without giving them an opportunity and encouraging them to develop their own.

The relationship that one has with God (If they choose to believe in one, many or none at all.) is a very personal one. Sharing your belief and leading by example while encouraging them to develop their own, is (IMO) much more beneficial to all.

My sister (we weren’t raised together, found each other 2 years ago) was raised in a family that was both Baptist and 7th Day Adventist, however at home one could not openly discuss either. As a result my sister spent years and much confusion looking for what she believed in or to find some sense of faith. Last year she went from being Pagan/Wiccan to becoming a full on Christian. While my viewpoints don’t necessarily jive with hers they are hers and not mine. It has taken a few months to sort this out, but I think we are getting there. We are finally starting to have an open dialogue without her trying to “save me and set me free.” I love her to pieces and am very proud of the zeal and growth she has shown in who she has become.

My belief now is that there is a God and I don’t need to belong to a religion of any special kind to have God in my life. When I pray I believe God hears me. When I ask for help/ guidance I believe I get it. I believe that there is no right or wrong answer for what one believes. Free will allows us the opportunity to explore and seek out knowledge and then decide for ourselves what to believe.

[carole]

My daughter's friend is being raised in the jehovah religion, she attends church regularly, her mother does not have anything to do with the faith, she tells my daughter her father pays her to read the teachings, now to me if you have to do that, there is something not quite right here,her father is a nice old guy(he is old enough to be my father) but he has tried to give my daughter books, and this I DONOT appreciate, however she has politely declined them, so no problem has arisen from it, I know he means well, but he should have asked us first don't you think?

[ramanth]

No, I would not be angry if my child decided to follow a different path, just as long as that path does not hurt anyone or themselves.

I actually plan to encourage any children I may have to study all the religions and find one that fits them best.

[Cataholic]

This is a really interesting topic for me, in my current state of momhood. I was raised with religious instruction. Is that the right word for growing up in a house where we went to church each Sunday, attended confirmation classes, bible school? We weren't bible thumpers, by a long shot. But, morals/values/christian behaviour was taught. I am Presbyterian, btw.

I don't regularly attend church today (or any day). But, have wondered what will I do when I have my baby. Lilycat and I have discussed this. She really supports a religous upbringing. To deprive my child of one would be 'wrong', or a shame, in her opinion. I feel to deprive him/her of one would be a parental misdeed. I don't think I want my child to grow up without some relgious foundation. If this is the same one he/she turns away from at some age..that is 'ok'. I mean I won't like the decision, but, at least he/she will be turning away from something. There isn't any guarentee that what I teach/bring my child up will be the same thing that child will take with him/her forever.

As to 'letting my child decide'...YIKES! Should I let my child decide if education is the primary way to get ahead in this world? Should I let my child decide if law abiding ways are the better route to happiness? Should I let my child decide that kindness is better than spite? No, absolutely not. My child is my child. She/he will be brought up the way I see fit. And, if that means by exposing him/her to regular religious instruction of MY BELIEFS, so be it. I could do a far cry worse. Hello early Sunday mornings...

[sirrahved]

I wouldn't be angry, per se, but I am what I am because I believe it is right. I think lots of other denominations tread dangerous water in their salvation beliefs, and other religion go without saying. I would listen to why they think what they think, and if they chose a dif. denom. I wouldn't have too much problem with it.

If they chose a different religion I would worry greatly about their salvation, and try to convince them that they were wrong, but I still wouldn't be "mad." I think that's the wrong terminology.

[carole]

Johanna I have to respectfully disagree with some of your comments, I donot think I have deprived my children by not bringing them up in any religion, just because I have chosen to let them decide if they want religion in their lives or not, does not mean I let them decide everything in their lives, this is just one particular thing that I believe is my right as their parent to do, just as it is your right to teach them a faith, your choice, its a very personal thing, certainly not a parental misdeed as you put it, of course you are entitled to your opinion, and I know you are speaking about how you wish to raise your child, I am not at all offended by your comments, but I just differ from them.

I have often asked myself that same question am I doing the right thing,? but yes I believe so, they are taught values, morals etc by us both, I am a law-abiding citizen, and just because I donot enter a church every sunday, does not make me a bad example to my children, infact i know of many who attend church regularly and lead lives that are not so high and moral, and to me they are hippocrites, I live a good decent life, and I think that is what really matters here, just MHO.

I know none of your thread was directed at me personally or anyone else, but I Just felt the need to say this, hope you don't mind.

[Cataholic]

Carole,
Nope, I don't mind a bit! Of course my post wasn't directed towards anyone! Not by a long shot. But, it is my internal reckoning of what I will/won't do, and how I feel about it. I just don't know what I will do...I looked in the "What to Expect When You Are Expecting" book, and just couldn't find the answer!