**Rant**

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Originally posted by Twisterdog
I'm sorry, but speaking as a single parent, I have to disagree with that. I don't think a child ever has a right to be annoyed because his/her parent refused to buy him/her a $100 digital camera. Perhaps the parent has good reason to say no.

Parents are in charge of the money, the bills, making ends meet. Parents are also the ones setting the budget and prioritizing spending. If her mom felt that items for the home were more important than a digital camera, then that is her right, as a parent. It is not a child's right to expect expensive purchases that aren't necessary.

My son wants a cell phone. He is not getting one. I have valid reasons for saying no, and that is my right as a parent. I feel he is not old enough to need one, or responsible enough to take care of one. I also think the ongoing expense of a cell phone bill is more than we can afford ... the monthly bills, the extra minutes, etc. Just like the good examples of the printer paper and cartridges associated with the digital camera. Many times the initial cost of the item is small compared with the ongoing expenses.

Maybe you could offer to pay part of the cost of the camera yourself? If you get an allowance, you could save the money and show your mom that you can contribute some money towards the purchase. Or, you could offer to do extra chores or work to "pay" for part of the camera. Parents often want to see responsibility and initiative displayed, more so than they just don't want to spend the money.

I am. I'm saving up for it myself. I offered to pay her back.

And no, I think I do have the right to be annoyed, because she tells me she can't afford it, then she goes and spends $167 on stupid crap like seat cushions and the rug.

[K9soul]

Since having my own home, I have come to understand how much little things to make a home a more enjoyable place can be. I don't know both sides to this situation and I dont' know the people involved so it's hard to make any real judgement on it.

I do know that my own mother would plan and save up sometimes to get things that she would really like for the house, like a new carpet for under the dining room table or nice sofa cushions to replace the old ratty ones. Things like that I didn't really see the point of until I got my own home. Now I really understand it a lot better.

It could be your mom was going to the store with plans to get a few things she had been wanting to for the house, and when she said she 'couldn't afford' the camera, she meant could not afford it in addition to what she already had planned to buy?

If she really could have afforded it easily, but didn't want to buy it and then impulsively bought the other things, that's of course within her rights, but in that case I think she should be up front with you and say "I'd rather not spend the money on that right now." But then she might not have wanted to say that for fear of causing conflict and argument, so she just said she couldn't afford it.

Again it's hard for me to really come to any conclusions. I don't know your mother or you personally.

Anyway, I do wish you the best and hope you will end up with the camera you are wanting soon

[catnapper]

Originally posted by ILoveMyAbbyGirl
I am. I'm saving up for it myself. I offered to pay her back.

And no, I think I do have the right to be annoyed, because she tells me she can't afford it, then she goes and spends $167 on stupid crap like seat cushions and the rug.

Great for you to save up... you'll appreciate it all the more when you finally get it.

As for your right to be angry, just wait a few years til you're out on your own. Just wait til you have kids someday. Its a whole different world. I suggested that she had been saving for it for a while, as did k9soul... please be honest with your mom and say that your hurt. Ask her if this was an impulse buy or if she really had plans on doing that. I know that it may seem unfair.

I myself have done the exact same thing your mother did, my kids weren't happy either. But they understand that the house is important. They too want the house looking nice so that they can be proud to bring their friends home, and feel comfortable. Before I spent any money on the house, none of my kids ever wanted to bring anybody over. They were embarassed. Maybe your mom is embarrased that she left her home - her ESTABLISHED home that was done and everything just her way. She left to go to a small apartment that is not what she is used to. Indulge her for a while. This is a time that everyone is hurt, and everyone is not going to understand each other.

Like I said, you will find a huge sense of satisfaction and pride when you buy it for yourself. Its one thing to be handed something, another to work very hard for it.

Oh, and an added bonus? By the time you have enough money, it should be on sale (technology tends to go on sale real fast once its considered "old" - there's nothing wrong with the camera, its still the same great camera, just considered by techies to be old ) You can use the extra money for an unexpected splurge!

[Uabassoon]

And no, I think I do have the right to be annoyed, because she tells me she can't afford it, then she goes and spends $167 on stupid crap like seat cushions and the rug.

While I think everyone has the right to be annoyed because everyone is entitled to their own feelings, I don't think you should be mad at your mom for this. That is HER money, she works for it and it's her desicion to decide how she spents it. As a parent it's her job to give you the things you NEED not want. So you shouldn't be upset because your mom doesn't want to use her money to get you something that you want because she wants something for herself. You mom deserves to buy the things that she wants with her money.

[guster girl]

Someone else asked this already, but, I didn't see an answer yet. Why can't Charlie stay where you are? If the bird is yours, and, he has daily care needs, why can't you take him with you? Some people just don't have the desire to take care of pets and it doesn't make them bad people, just people that shouldn't own pets. If it's your mom's pet and she's neglecting it, than bad on her. But, if he's your bird, you should find somewhere to take him that he will get the care he needs, if you can't take him with you. I've had to take my pets in the past to friends or kennels or the vet's office because my brother or other family member in my home would not take care of them like I would like. I'm not saying it's not irresponsible of your mom to not change the water, but, if you know that she's not going to do it, maybe next time, you could find a friend that would take better care of him.

And, as for the whole camera/carpet thing. It's her money and she should be able to spend it as she wants. As for her wording as to why she wouldn't get you the camera....she could have said something like "I've been wanting to get these things for my home, and, I can't afford to buy you a camera and myself the decorations", instead of just saying she could not afford it. It's just sometimes better to specify. But, just because it's not something you want, it's not fair of you to say the decorations are "stupid crap." It's kindof disrespectful. I mean, I don't know you or your family, but, that's just a typical kid reaction. Try putting yourself in her shoes. I mean, if she's not feeding you because she spent all her money on rugs and pillows, that's completely different. Anyway, just my thoughts.

[Dogz]

I am not going to touch the camera thing, although I hope you get one!

As for Charlie, I hope you can talk your mom into changing his water. I change Nelly's water 1-3 times a day. As for taping the newspaper, I think that would be ok for in my cage, since my newspaper is under his top tray.

Good luck with your mom!