Well today is my Melissa's 14th Birthday and ironically on this day I am very distressed and worried about her.

To cut a long story short i was looking for her socks under her bed and came across a folder she had hidden under there, i don't know why i felt the need to look at it but i did,inside were some very dark deep thoughts,of which scared me so much, my daughter who comes across as a bright, energetic,happy,outgoing girl with plenty of self esteem seems to be quite the opposite, she seems to be obessed with death and darkness, and she is cutting herself, to ease her pain, she feels depression, and that she is ugly and fat, and cutting herself makes her feel beautiful , the more pain she feels the better she feels, i know she is doing this because she has a piece of paper covered in dry blood.

You can all imagine how terrible i am feeling inside, i cannot believe this is happening and i have simply no idea how to handle it all, she is also having boy problems and some of that is written in there too.

I have never been able to understand this cutting thing, and i really need some help and advice as where to go from here,from anyone who has been through it,from parents to teenagers, i know she will be unhappy that i have read this folder for one, but my concerns for her wellbeing are very high right now, i think maybe she needs counselling as i am no expert.

I am beside myself with worry and i just don't have a clue what to do for the best, i really need some help here,i feel like my whole world has fallen in around me, that i have been oblivious to all of this and not noticed anything, i just want to help her anyway i can.

Please any advice will be much appreciated.