Which last name?

[Karen]

Use her name. As they are not married, and have no plans to be right now, the baby is primarily her responsibility. If, at some point, they do decide to get married, Ashley's maiden name can become the child's middle name, perhas, and both Ashley and baby can change their names at the time of the marriage. But as they are both young, and so much of the future is up in the air, I'd go with her last name, and if that upsets the father, well, he can "make it right" when he marries Ashley some day if they choose to do so. If they were bth ten years older than they are now, my opinion might be different, but the situation would be quite different as well.

If, despite his current stated intentions, he ends up having little or no presence in this child's life, trying to explain how her child got his/her last name might be a burden for Ashley, and a source of resentment in the future. If the child and father remain close, the child can choose to adopt the father's last name later, I know of a girl who did the opposite, after her parents went through a horrific, accusatory and bitter divorce, she took her mother's maiden name as her last name, and her mother reverted to her maiden name as well.

The baby having a different last name than its mom causes unfortunate questions and confusion which some people are now used to, but others are not.

[caseysmom]

I say give the baby her name, I think this would be wonderful for your husband since he has two daughters, I mean sort of an advantage for him having a daughter giving birth out of wedlock and look how much her father has been through, he raised them not their mother, how many men do that:?

His name will be passed on, I say pooey on the baby's father....what has he really contributed...sorry but thats how I feel.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

I think Karen said it best (as usual )

I would recommend that the baby has Ashleys surname because:

- easier from an admin / medical / schooling perspective

- if dad ends up not being very involved, then there will be less reason to have to explain why she and the baby have different surnames (Personal experience - I was Cameron's "Mum" from when he was three years old, but was sick to death of having to explain to people why our surnames were different - it's almost like it gives admin / school / medical people an excuse to be nosey)

- it can always be changed to dad's name later if they do marry

[Lori Jordan]

I feel as if the couple are married then the baby should go by the fathers name,If the couple is together but not married the name should be both which can be changed in any point of time,If the couple is not together i think the baby should have the moms name for sure..jmo

[catnapper]

Karen, you are so eloquent! Ash said that makes for a logical and reasonable answer.... would you care come and give the father that speach if thats what she eventually decides?

Julie, Ash's choices for boy names and Cameron and Connor! Since you have the same taste, what girl names can you offer?

[jenluckenbach]

The more I read and the more I think about it the MORE I go with my first instinct. HER last name.

I may not have any real info, legal or otherwise, but my gut tells me that is the proper thing to do.

Then when she DOES marry, who ever becomes her husband can decide to become the adoptive father and give the baby his last name (if that is the choice at the time).

[Lobodeb]

I voted for the mom's name. If daddy really wants to be involved in his child's life, then he can adopt him/her at a later time.