After Wedding Attire - looking for opinions

[RedHedd]

You would use the Mrs. Kimberly Miller only after your husband died. When he's living you belong to him and use his name.

[Cataholic]

WOW, how very tiring. I only copied some of the 'junk'...but, for those that wonder, here it is!

Full link, here: http://www.emilypost.com/etiquette/e...of_address.htm



Situation Options/Notes
Addressing a Woman

Maiden name Ms. Jane Johnson
Miss Jane Johnson*
*usually 'Miss' is for girls under 18

Married, keeping maiden name Ms. Jane Johnson

Married, uses husband's name socially Mrs. John Kelly
Mrs. Jane Kelly*
*Nowadays this is acceptable
Ms. Jane Kelly

Separated, not divorced Mrs. John Kelly
Mrs. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Kelly

Divorced Mrs. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Johnson (maiden name)

Widowed Mrs. John Kelly*
*If you don't know the widow's preference, this is the traditional and preferred form
Mrs. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Kelly


Addressing a Couple
Married, she uses her husband's name socially Mr. and Mrs. John Kelly
NOTE: Traditionally, a man's name preceded a woman's on an envelope adddress, and his first and surname were not separated (Jane and John Kelly). Nowadays, the order of the names—whether his name or hers comes first—does not matter and either way is acceptable. The exception is when one member of the couple 'outranks' the other—the one with the higher rank is always listed first. (see below)

Married, she prefers Ms. Mr. John Kelly and Ms. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Kelly and Mr. John Kelly
*Do not link Ms. to the husband's name:
Mr. and Ms.John Kelly is incorrect

Married, informal address Jane and John Kelly
John and Jane Kelly

Married, she uses maiden name Mr. John Kelly and Ms. Jane Johnson
Ms. Jane Johnson and Mr. John Kelly

[Cinder & Smoke]

*edit*
Okay...show of hands...
how many people thought I was talking about Wedding night attire?

Dummie

>>Wedding EVENING attire<<

I figured you were looking for something "casual" to wear to the Reception!

Oooooooooh ...
You meant WAAAAAY "after" the wedding.

[popcornbird]

Jeez......this is confusing! SO confusing!!! I never knew there were so many 'rules' on this.

Personally, I know that I would 'dislike' it if someone referred to me by my husband's name. I did not change my last name...still have my maiden name and will keep it, and now I wonder what I would be addressed by. If someone addresses the two of us together, I'm fine with, "Mr. and Mrs. (husband's last name)", BUT, to call myself "Mrs. (my name) (husband's last name)" isn't right to me, because I still have my maiden name and I'm going to keep it. To call myself "Mrs. (husband's first name) (husband's last name).......wellllllllllllllllll, though I love him tremendously, I'm still ME, not HIM. We're still two seperate individuals. That is just how I feel about it. AND...I wouldn't want to be associated with a guy's first name. he he he...I might think people will wonder, "Why does this GIRL have a GUY'S name?" Being married, to me, doesn't change who I am, what family I'm from, and who my father is, so as I consider (me) still (ME!), I wanted to keep (my) name as (MY) name...without any changes. I know it is tradition to change to the husband's last name, but there are also many, many girls who don't want to change their names. After reading this thread, I am now confused. I'm not changing my last name to that of my husband, so when we are addressed to, what is the appropriate thing for people to call us?

Okay...this is going off-topic, but if you are changing your last name, I would write "Kimberly Miller" on the shirt, without the Mrs., or something cute, along with the name...to show that you and Andy are now a 'couple'.

[ramanth]

The Mrs. is standard. It's there already so it can't be omitted. The printer just tells the computer what name I want and wedding date I want.

I'd hate to thumb my nose at etiquette, but I kinda like having it be my name.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Well PCB....do be prepared for confusion. We went to a dinner party recently at the home of someone who knows me. I introduced my husband with his first and last name, but of course she only heard his first name. She then introduced him with his first name and my last name.

I was thrown off and did not immediately correct her. Rather embarrassing but....as my husband says....I bring it on myself! Later I said something to the whole table....but it was awkward.

Must think how to handle in the future (although somehow I manage when the situation is reversed.)

[caseysmom]

I have been married close to 25 years and don't remember anyone ever addressing me as mrs. hisfirstname hislastname....ever.

[Barbara]

I never had an idea about this cultural difference. Here even if you take the husband's name you are still Mrs. Kimberly Miller, the version Mrs. Andrew Miller just doesn't exist.