Grrrr... who's right here?

[catnapper]

A lot of what people are giving us for the baby is being given with the understanding that we'll return it after the baby outgrows it. Its not everything, but select items like a stroller, car seat, some clothes, etc. We'll be able to keep about half the stuff, and have been keeping track of who gave what, so if they ask for it back, we'll know what item was thier's (we have 2 of some things)

Anyhow, tonight, hubby overhead me talking to mom, when mom was saying how she has a huge box of stuff that my aunt has for us... and she would like it back for when her son has a baby. We (ash and I) TOTALLY understand and are happy we just have the stuff we need when we need it. Hubby on the other hand is furious that everything is "on loan" and is arguing that we give everything back and register for new stuff.

HELLO?! Is it me, or is that backwards? Why on earth would he insist on spending hundreds of dollars on new stuff that the baby will use for a year or less, only to then toss it into the basement for some unknown child that may or may not come after this baby.... when we have FREE, gently used stuff?

Did we miss a step in logic? Last week, he even said that she'd be able to give everything to another girl in need and "pay it forward"..... ummm.... so by giving this stuff to another pregnant teen would mean the stuff is no longer HERE to be used for the next grandbaby. MEN! Do their brains just short circuit?

[*JTM*Coco*pi*Caramel*]

I agree with you! If they want it back thats fine, if they or someone else they know have a baby! What the point of keeping it when it isnt in use? Paying it forward would be a good idea too but it is basically the same concept as giving it back to whoever gave it to you because in the end your still not gonna have it and you are helping out someone elses baby! Maybe hubby is just stressed out or something, or maybe it's a guy thing! Who knows!

[sirrahbed]

I am with you and Ash "Gently loved" baby items seem not only practical - but I also have found that folks really enjoy loaning or giving away these items - it feels so good to see things being used I think.

But, I know when we were expecting our first grandchild, I initially wanted to buy everything new with the idea that we could use it for multiple babies - plus it is exciting to shop for all of these things! So, maybe this is how Grant is feeling?

It did not take long for my practical and logical upbringing to win though I love being able to borrow and loan things - and to find fabulous items at the thrift store and garage sales. Newborn things especially are not used for very long and can be found in like new condition.

[critter crazy]

I agree with you!! All of our stuff for our son was given to us by family members, most of which has been in the family for years!! It was great! the history alone was awsome and it saved us so much money!! when we were done with the stuff we just gave it back!! the fact that we could give it back and save room in our house was also a great thing!! Hubby will figure it out soon enough when he sees how much this stuff costs!!

[carole]

Sounds like a case of MANLY PRIDE appearing, gosh i think that would be plain dumb not to take up these peoples generous offers, they might be quite offended too, it is not like you are loaded or anything, any help i would imagine would be greatly appreciated, i never had all brand new stuff for my babies, bit of both really, my sister had some lovely stuff she gave for my son, and i was more than happy to have it,i still get pass me downs in the family, like furniture etc, and hey i am not too proud to accept it either, i think that is what this is all about with hubby, i could be wrong, but just my thoughts on the subject, tell him to pull his head in and behave himself and accept gratefully lol.

[jackie]

I agree with you!! All of our stuff for our son was given to us by family members, most of which has been in the family for years!!

Same here. I think ¨on loan¨ stuff is great. Who knows how long it will be until another baby comes along after this one. what is the point letting stuff collect dust when it could be used? Tell him if he has such a problem with it, he can return the on loan items, and give him a price list of the money he will spend on stuff you already have!

[moosmom]

Guys just don't understand. I gave all my daughter's baby stuff to a girl in need. Didn't think twice about getting it back cuz I knew it was the end of the line for me and child bearing.

I think it's totally insane to buy kid's clothes (everything is SOOO expensive these days) brand new when they outgrow them so fast. That's why there are so many baby consignment shops around. Gently used stuff is what it's called. Wish I had thought of the idea. I'd be rich!!!

[chrangharris]

We've always looked for gently used stuff if we were the one buying it! If hubby has a huge problem with it, register for things but don't turn away any donations. After the baby showers and what not, you can see what has been loaned for you, what has been bought and what is still needed. It might be a way to compromise with hubby

Most of the stuff Misha only used for a few months and has been in storage waiting on the this next one. I have a close friend who has a son a few months older then Misha. We always talk over big buys and try not to get the same things so we can swap things out!

[jenluckenbach]

Let me be inside Grant's mind for a moment. ( scary thought)

I would bet you that is isn't about "new vs. used". I bet it is more that the people are giving things to you with "strings attached". OK, so a large ticket item, like a crib, might be given to you "on loan", and he might accept that without question. But I can understand the feeling going on if most of the stuff isn't really being given to you as YOURS! (in other words, yours to give to whomever you'd like to after baby is finished with it).

So, now that we can understand what he might be thinking, you can sympathize with him ("I understand how you feel.") but continue to accept whatever, where ever ("But we need to save money wherever possible")

Get it?

[catnapper]

I told him that the crib from his sister was one of the items with strings attached and he said "no it isn't!" He has NO clue what is going on.

He is absolutely fine with us getting used items, no problem with it... its the concept that we only have them for temporary loan.

I myself REFUSE to buy new stuff when we're shopping for things. We will need every penny we have to diaper and feed the baby, so it seems so frivolous to buy a new fill-in-the-blank, when we can find a "gently used" fill-in-the-blank for 90% off the retail price. We've hit every Goodwill within a 20 mile radius and just today I found out about one by my FIL, so we'll head there tomorrow on the relentless persuit of lamps (will we EVER find a lamp???)

But it seems so odd to me that we BUY this stuff for ourselves when the baby will only use a lot of it for a few months and thats it! The swing, cradle, buncie thingie, etc will all be something ion the $50 range that will be used for a few months each then the baby outgrows it. Makes no sense to me!

On another note, my mom is laughing at how frugal I'm being and how I'm turning the strangest things into beautiful things for the baby's room (just wait til you see the revamped microwave cart! ) Its actually been very good for my creativity.