Why make the choice to not have children?

[captain]

To my fellow co-workers ..........Let me just say this

............. if you or your daughter, or your grandaughter gives birth to the most beautiful child on the planet, PLEASE DO NOT THINK I need to see the graphic "in situ" shots of the birth!!!!

Just the child please ........... and preferably, clean with clothes on!!! Not with the "aftermath".

Don't mind seeing the odd baby photo, but everyone I work with knows to show me their animals too!!!

[catnapper]

I had a horrible experience the other day when my little boy, Pouncer, fell off the roof and hurt his claw. I was a total and complete basket case. As I cried my heart out over a cat paw, I remembered this thread. I wanted to shout: THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANT HUMAN BABIES!!!

heee heeee.

[CathyBogart]

I'm exactly the same way! When Star had a minor injury that caused a lot of bleeding, I went BALLISTIC!

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by captain
............. if you or your daughter, or your grandaughter gives birth to the most beautiful child on the planet, PLEASE DO NOT THINK I need to see the graphic "in situ" shots of the birth!!!!

Captain, this is kind of funny. Yesterday, my girlfriend gave me her child's old carseat mirror..so that I can see my baby when the car seat is facing backwards....anyhow, I carried it in from her car, and my girl friend said, "oh, just wait til delivery and they have a mirror larger than a big screened tv...so you (meaning me) can watch the birth.."...I was like, "gross! why would I want to see that?" He he he...who knows, maybe I will change when the time comes, but, it seems kind of gross to me

[ramanth]

When a co-worker here had a baby, an email was sent out with a link to the babies picture so you had the option to look or not look. She never went around shoving it in peoples faces. A few weeks later she brought the baby to work and strolled past the offices. If you wanted to see the baby, you could intercept her, if not, she never bothered you.

But then again, that's just how Karin is. I'm sure there are some who can be just obnoxious with photos.

[Logan]

I remember when Helen was born that I was totally against filming the birth, so we didn't. The next morning, the nurse who had stayed with me the entire time brought me a photo album, filled with Polaroid pictures that she had snapped (I didn't remember her taking most of them). Unfortunately, some of them were a bit too graphic for me and I didn't want Helen to see them either, let alone anyone else! I'm with you, Johanna, I didn't need to see what was going on that bad!!!!

[All Creatures Great And Small]

You know, the conception of a child is a beautiful, natural thing too, but thank goodness nobody has ever seen fit to show me pictures or video of THAT! I don't see any harm in taking videos or pictures during the birth, but I think they are intensely personal and should just be enjoyed by the mother and father. I was completely unconscious when my daughter was lifted out of my tummy, and that's fine with me - I don't feel like I missed anything.

We just had our office remodeled where I work, and instead of individual desks with cubicles, we now have one continuous U-shaped countertop. Each of us has a chair and a file cabinet and a little slice of Formica . The bigwigs decided that everyone's "workspace" should look uniform and sterile, so they provided us with identical matching photo collage frames that we were allowed to use if we insisted on putting up PICTURES (God forbid) of our personal life. Well, of course my frame is filled with Sammy and Dudley, and the lady I share a desk with is currently childless but blessed with 3 kitties, so our workspace is the kitty palace! People have chuckled over the fact that we have no other "family" pictures up (although I did have pictures of my daughter at my desk when it was actually a desk ). I just like to look at my kitties when I'm at work, because unlike my family, they relieve my stress, not contribute to it .

As far as why to have or not have children, I am one of those who had no maternal urges and was uncomfortable around babies and children. I was content being an auntie, but my husband was an only child of an only child, so he wanted to have at least one. We were at a point in our marriage where the choice had to be made, because he had said that if I didn't want any children he would have to think about divorcing me. I had told him from the beginning of our relationship that I didn't care for and didn't want any children, and he married me anyway, so did he think I was kidding?? Maybe he thought I would "outgrow" my attitude, I don't know. Anyway, divine providence stepped in right about then, and I "accidentally" became pregnant (carelessness on my part one night - 'nuff said).
I will admit I was VERY unhappy when I found out I was expecting, but I went ahead with it because it was pretty much my own fault and my husband was so happy about it. I wanted to be sterilized immediately following the birth, but my doctor was an (expletive deleted) and said he never sterilizes until after the second baby. I saw this doctor every year for the next ten years, and every year I reiterated my desire to be sterilized. I guess he finally realized I was serious the 10th time, so he finally did it. I think I adapted to motherhood pretty well, although if you ask YLL she'll tell you different . She's right about the "bad genes" in our family too; almost every female on my mom's side of the family is mentally ill with either depression, schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, you name it. YLL and I have so far managed to avoid the family curse, so I don't think her kids would get it, but who knows?

And one last observation - it seems so far that a lot of the "cat people" here prefer to not have children - wonder if there's some kind of correlation there?

[Tonya]

Originally posted by All Creatures Great And Small
And one last observation - it seems so far that a lot of the "cat people" here prefer to not have children - wonder if there's some kind of correlation there?

Cats are mellow creatures...Kids aren't! lol.

I had pictures taken of Jaden's birth, but they were all black and white. I'm very glad I didn't take color photos.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Cataholic
"oh, just wait til delivery and they have a mirror larger than a big screened tv...so you (meaning me) can watch the birth.."...

If you check out the small print at the bottom it says, "Objects in this mirror are closer than you think"

[emily_the_spoiled]

Being the oldest child in my family I had the opportunity to participate in "raising children" (a long story). But it did take care of that maternal urge. Right now I have no desire to have children (and haven't for many years). I am perfectly happy without the dirty diapers, midnight feedings, and the "joys" of teenagers... If I want that I can borrow my nieces and nephews for awhile

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

Originally posted by Cataholic
I have had many people tell me something magical happens when the baby is born, or placed in your arms for the first time. That alot of your fears disappear, and you just 'become'.

Johanna, I can tell you that is exactly what happened to me. I am on only child, and the youngest cousin in the family, so I NEVER had any experience at all of holding babies or babysitting when I was growing up. When my eldest was born it's like I downloaded a whole new set of software into my brain - I instinctivly knew what to do, and felt comfortable doing it!

My three are now 15; 14 and 12. so they are now at the age where I can go for a meal with hubby or friends, or leave the house and go out with the kids with very little planning. The days of prams and nappy bags are over. So I can relate to the "freedom"you have when you don't have kids. Make no mistake, it takes a BIG chunk out of your freedom when they are small - we didn't go on holiday for 7 years, because with school fees etc we couldn't afford it, and our old jalopy wouldn't have got us very far anyway!

I fully respect anyones decision NOT to have children. I don't expect everyone to own cats just because I do, so why should kids be any different? I would never ask someone why they didnt have kids.' I just respect the individuals right to choose!

[Desert Arabian]

Originally posted by NoahsMommy
Some people weren't put on this earth to procreate...its just that simple. Its a personal decision, just like YLL stated. You are wise beyond your years, my dear.

Aww, why thank you! Now I'm blushing.

[QueenScoopalot]

That just because some of us are CBC, doesn't mean we don't have the capacity for nurturing. I feel much more comfortable nurturing a litter of kittens needing bottle feeding. This makes me a mother to "fur kids". Or "feather kids" when the inevitable nestling falls out of a tree and with all the cats around here, its chances are not good without help sometimes. So we are all mothers & fathers in our own unique ways if you stop and think about it. Granted all I'll get for "Mother's Day" is more poop, and an occasional hairball, but all in all it's the same be it snake, lizard, dog...etc. We love what we have chosen to care for in our lives! And the best part is, no back talk, clothes to buy (with the exception of doll clothes at yard sales to dress kittens in ) and no borrowing the car....and on, and on. The bills are probably much lower than raising a "skin kid". Jan (mom to too many now..yikes)

[carole]

Jan you are so right, whether you choose to nuture children or animals, it does not matter,but yes the latter is somewhat less expensive, and probably slightly less emotionally demanding, but regardless both are important roles in life.

[Glacier]

Originally posted by carole
Jan you are so right, whether you choose to nuture children or animals, it does not matter,but yes the latter is somewhat less expensive, and probably slightly less emotionally demanding, but regardless both are important roles in life.

I'm not so sure that animals are less expensive! Last year I spent 10 grand at the vet. Had it been a human child who needed medical attention, it wouldn't have cost me a dime! I'm a Canadian so medical care doesn't cost me directly from my wallet! I have a great benefit plan at work that covers dental, prescriptions, ect. Kids would be cheaper for me.....Course, my dogs will never need university tution either!